Sisterhood

Not sure why Father chose the title sisterhood and this photo with this post. At this point, it is still a mystery to me. 🤔 I do love the sisterhood these two women share. I love sitting and watching the two of them interact with each other. Especially the laughter. Not sure why yet…but watching Bobbi laugh like she does…brings my heart joy. Her laughter is the best! Bobbi and Vanessa have grown close…and that is all good. I knew they would. 😜 Love it when I am right about what I heard Father say. I get to see I worked that math problem out correctly…cuz I got the right answer. Makes me feel smart. So validating. 😂

Since He had me title the post…Sisterhood…you would THINK this post is about sisterhood. Nah! It is really about motherhood…me. His ways are not our ways. For sure. He keeps me good and confused most of the time. 🤷‍♀️🤨🤪

In a recent convo between Mama Nessa and myself, we discussed her sisterhood with Bobbilicious. She was telling me that probably 80% of their conversations are about motherhood. To me…that is easy to believe. They are both mothers…and LOVE being mothers. Vanessa and I have had MANY conversations about motherhood over the years. It is a passion of mine. I feel like being a mother is the greatest job Father gave women. The value of a mother is priceless. What she can contribute to a child is mind-blowing in value and worth.

Serious

When a mom chooses to abdicate her parenting roles as Father created and designed them to be for each child He loaned out to her…what it will cost her and her children in the end…is beyond any kind of repayment of debt she can imagine. I am not sure I will ever be able to stress enough just how serious disobedience to Father’s plan is.

Every single time you disobey…you are taking money out of your bank account with Christ. You are taking out a loan. The great Accountant in the Heavens is tracking your every decision…every single one…and putting it down on your bank ledger. Although you may not be tracking your spending…let me assure you…He is. Christ did not die/labor in vain. He WILL be paid back in full for the suffering He endured at the hands of mankind.

When you die, you will stand before Him to account for your overspending here on Earth. If all you ever did was spend…make withdrawals from your ledger…you will owe that amount of money to Christ. Since you can’t pay that money back…you will be thrown into debtor’s prison. Paybacks are Hell my friend. There…you work for eternity never paying your debt back.

Slavery

We are ALL slaves. Every. Single. One. Of. Us.

You can be a slave to righteousness…or a slave to unrighteousness. Slave to obedience to Father’s commands…or slavery to disobedience to His commands.

If you choose to be a slave to Christ and obedience here on Earth…then the opposite of the above happens. You make credits to your ledger…your bank account in Heaven. This is eternal investing for your eternal retirement account.

Submission with some pain by dying to your flesh here…or eternal submission and pain there in Hell dying daily trapped in prison. Your choice. I can endure some slavery here to get eternal freedom and rewards. Being trapped in Hell here for this duration of training has completely convinced me I am right about my choices.

I have mentioned I have been listening to the song Ships That Don’t Come In since they released the version with Toby, Joe, and Luke. This morning again, I turned it on. The chorus is a killer for me. The soldier line and the line about the insane who are locked up in themselves. I feel those lines in every fiber of my being. Being trapped in insanity with Satan for eternity…can’t imagine. I simply can’t imagine that kind of torture…the intensity…nor the eternal duration. Painful to reflect on. Hurts my heart to think of mankind being led to their slaughter…clueless of the costs. I want to educate them. Warn them to stay away.

Feminism

The enemy has crept into the minds, hearts, and homes of the people and completely obliterated the true value of motherhood in mankind.

Women today feel so desperate to be somebody. To do something that gets the attention of the masses. I see this shit on YouTube daily. Everybody wants a title. A position. A massive income. All the material goods that come with the lifestyle they are climbing to achieve.

I see women constantly tearing men down to PROVE to the man that she is stronger and better than him. More capable than he is. If the man can do it…the woman can do it better. Crazy shit. It is DELUSION.

Feminism has taken over because of toxic masculinity. Toxic masculinity feeds and breeds feminism. Feminism feeds and breeds toxic masculinity. It is a vicious cycle mankind is in. Men using and abusing women. Women using and abusing men. Both genders trying to outdo, out win, and overpower each other. Insanity.

I have a desire to destroy this toxic death cycle men and women are trapped in. Set them free from this constant battle. To heal them from the battle scars both genders have left upon each other.

I so get why man wants to go genderless. Although it is NOT the solution…I sure get the concept behind it. Both genders are playing games with each other and doing nothing but causing horrible damage to one another. Men and women need to grow up and stop playing games. Instead of players playing…we need workers working.

Unity

I would like to see mankind actually work together in unity. Let’s work together to build something beautiful instead of competing against one another and tearing one another down.

Why do you feel you need to be better than your neighbor? One up them?

Why does a woman think she needs to prove herself to a man???? It is a biological fact men are physically stronger than women. Why can’t women accept this truth? Embrace it. Be THANKFUL for the male strength? I appreciate it when a man lifts the heavy stuff for me. It saves my body from being injured.

Why can’t a man see that a woman is emotionally stronger and more complex than he? Embrace their intuition and be THANKFUL she sees, feels, and knows things he can’t see, feel, and know yet.

Father created the woman to help the man. Adam wasn’t whole without her. Eve wouldn’t have been created if Adam wasn’t created first. She was created FOR HIM. NOT the other way around. Man and woman were created and designed to complete one another. A healthy circle of life…NOT a toxic one.

They were created to work together to build a family, a home, and a life. To build. NOT destroy. Especially not each other.

These adult children need a mentality and heart change. We need to raise babies up to see differently. To live by a higher set of standards here.

Mother

This all ties in with something I have been recently chewing on. It all kind of came together for me last night while walking at the riverfront. It is about me and my life. What I want now after over 30 years of working my fanny off for Father. It is kind of interesting to me how this kind of played out in my head. Felt led to share.

I told Hannah I wanted to walk at the riverfront. So we did. We hung out a bit at the skatepark. Love seeing the regulars. Love watching people master tricks they have been working to master. After a bit, I said to Hannah…let’s go swing.

On our way to the swings, an acquaintance started chatting with Hannah. His female friend and I started a conversation. She is a director of a local nonprofit. I love learning…so, I had questions. It was a fascinating convo for me. Got to learn new things about the city. Things I didn’t know.

One thing she mentioned…Father pinned. She uses the kitchen of a local church. At this church, they also teach English classes. She was telling me that one time she got there at 6:30 to find many people in line outside waiting to get in. When she asked why so many people were there…she was told they only accept like 20 people for the class. The class started at 8. All these people wanted to learn English, so they came early hoping to get a seat.

I told her…wow…they were hungry to learn. To be fed. Loved this. Love to see hungry people. People hungry to learn.

Swinging

When our conversations ended with the nice folks on the riverfront, we got comfy in our swing. Just a swinging. 🎶🎵 😜

I wanted to do some introspection…so did Hannah so we sat quietly.

It kind of all came together for me on that swing.

For years, I have been hidden. Hidden from myself. Hidden from mankind. I was ok with that. I was a nobody and didn’t feel the need to be a somebody.

When conversing with strangers in the past, I became very skilled at steering the convo away from me and onto them. Dad taught me something I will never forget. A very valuable piece of truth for me over the years. There is one topic most people LOVE to talk about…themselves. That is true of most people. Knowing this…has helped me to stay hidden. When meeting people, I can ask questions that keep them talking and avoid them asking about me.

I am a strange topic. Never sure how to describe me and what I do. Because of that, I have learned the skills to avoid talking about me. If the person doesn’t like talking about themselves…which is rare…then I can find a subject they ARE willing to converse about. Everybody loves something and I love to learn about everything, so this has been a win-win for me over the years.

Changes

When I reflected on our nonprofit convo, I was grateful to learn what I did. Some fascinating stuff in that convo. However, I came to the conclusion I now want people to be fascinated about me. I want people to be interested in what I have to say. I have been an anomaly in this world. An outsider looking in on the masses. I have spent over 30 years making observations, taking notes, taking tests, and learning from Father about His creation.

NOW…I want to teach. Want hungry students that line up at my door desperately waiting to learn from me. I want to be the standard…not the world. I want to be what fascinates people instead of me being fascinated about the world and the people around me. Feeling like it is time for the tables to be turned.

I then thought about how I want to be chased. Pursued. Sought after. Thought as valuable. To be respected. Revered. Honored. Elevated. Thought highly of instead of rejected by the masses and thought poorly of. I have been the very last. Now it is my time to be first. Instead of looked down upon…looked up to.

While I was a stay-at-home mom, I took a lot of shit from an enormous amount of people who thought I was lazy…and thought merely being a mom was a bad thing. I want to show the world…being a stay-at-home mom is the best job for a woman. There is NO greater calling in life for a woman.

I want the people to be hungry for me to mother them. To embrace them. Nurture them. To adopt me as their mother…life coach…mentor…teacher…role model…etc.

Shine

It is time for me to shine. For the people of this world who have thrown me away as a non-valuable…to see my value and worth. Not just my value and worth…but mine compared to theirs. This world needs the light turned on. Mankind needs to see themselves for who they really are. They aren’t who they think they are. Man thinks WAY too highly of themselves. Believing they have the answers for so much in this world. Man is clueless and clueless that they are clueless. The pride and arrogance within blind their eyes to who they really are.

I want to go from a nobody to a somebody. Feeling a bit like Secretariat in the last race. Ready to come out of the gate ahead of everybody instead of behind everybody. Tired of being covered in mud. There has been a whole lot of mudslinging at me in my life. I am worthy of being followed by the masses.

I have been chewing and stewing on some of the teachings lately. Vanessa, Hannah, and I sat around discussing one of them the other day. We all know I am sitting on a gold mine here. Just waiting for Father to release me and let me teach. The giddiness I feel inside about this curriculum is beyond imagination. Vanessa and Hannah are super excited about the teachings too. We are revved up about it all.

Credit

Another little bit from the riverfront walk I feel led to mention. Hannah was sharing with the man her latest changes in life. The major detox she is undergoing from an emotional and spiritual standpoint. The guy was really excited for her. He was impressed to find someone so young doing something so wonderful. She pointed to me and said…it is all because of her.

I told Hannah…one thing I greatly appreciate about her is the fact she always gives me credit for the knowledge she has and the positive changes she has made in her life. She has been my student, and she is learning. I am thankful she doesn’t act as if the knowledge was hers. It honors the work I have done with Father all these years.

Here are a couple of past examples that pertain to this…giving credit where credit is due.

Example

I once did a teaching at an organization. Father wanted me to use a paper easel pad for the presentation. It was about humility for me. He gave me a vision to warn me of the enemy trying to steal my teaching.

In the vision, I pulled up at a hotel. I stepped out of the vehicle. In my right hand was a briefcase that was handcuffed to my wrist. The doorman tried to take my briefcase from me. I told him no. What Father said to me was this. I gave this revelation to you and you alone. It is a gift from me to you. I didn’t give it to anybody else. It is yours. Guard what I have entrusted to you.

One of the leaders of the organization wanted me to give them my notes. I knew…I wasn’t supposed to do that. They were going to teach it to others as if it were their own.

Another Example

Years ago, Father told me…Vanessa is going to become homeless. I want you to take her in. You will become her mother.

Immediately, I thought…I better tell my husband cuz he was going to need time to pray on that. I knew that was going to trigger him severely. He was already struggling with the finances. I told him. He was shocked but the shock wore off and by the time Vanessa became homeless he was ready for her to move in with our family.

One day while talking to someone, while I was standing there…he told the person Father told him Vanessa would be homeless. He lied and took credit for the revelation Father gave me. I was stunned speechless for a bit about that.

It has been painful for me in the past when I have helped people tremendously and they don’t give me ANY credit for the changes they made in their life. Instead, they claim all the credit for themselves. They teach others what I have taught them as if they did the work to receive that special knowledge and revelation from Father themselves. Then mankind gives them all the credit and accolades while Crystal Ann sits over here with nothing.

No credits are made to my account here on Earth, while everyone praises, applauds, looks up to, respects, and honors the student instead of the teacher. They think so highly of the follower instead of knowing the truth that the follower is actually a follower of a leader who contains all the wisdom.

Stealing

I hate it when people steal from me. They take the credit for the work I have done. I am the one who has labored for over 30 years to get the wisdom, knowledge, discernment, understanding, and truth I have. The teachings He gave me…He gave to me. All these years, I have begged in desperation to get what He has given me. Through blood, sweat, and a river of tears, I have built with Father.

To watch others take my teachings and fail to give me the credit…rankles me.

I am ready for Father to give me the credit in front of mankind. He knows the intimacy I have built with Him. He knows what He has given me. I am grateful my account in Heaven shows my true balance. However, I would like for Him to reconcile the account down here with the one up there.

The intimacy I have built with Him…is mine. What is birthed out of that…is mine. I don’t mind sharing it with the masses…but I would like the credit for what I teach. Building this massive curriculum…has been A HARD WORK. Beyond man’s comprehension.

Super grateful Hannah doesn’t steal my labor from me, but instead gives the credit where the credit is due. She always points it back to me.

Pursued

Now a woman who is paying attention…can tell when a man is interested. He is interested. When we left the swings, and we walked past the skatepark again…it was dark. As we pass by, I see the man sitting with his buddies on the grass. He turns and looks at me. If I was a betting kind of gal, I would’ve bet the farm he was coming after me.

He did.

In less than a minute, he whizzes past us on the skateboard. The walkway is pretty empty by this time of night. We wave and he passes by us both times…coming and going. We keep walking. Pretty soon, I hear him coming up behind us a second time. Now, I am smiling. I know he is trying to work up the nerve to stop and talk. By the third pass, he had worked up the nerve. 😂

We finish up our walk with him beside us and stand and chitty-chat for a bit before we get in the car. We bid him adieu and told him we would see him again soon.

This was another piece of the puzzle in the convo I was having with Father.

I decided I kind of liked it. This little chase…pursuit was very pleasing to me. Amusing too. 😆

Time

It is time for me to be pursued by man. To be chased after. I am tired of being rejected and thrown away by mankind. I want to be accepted…but not only accepted…but hungered after. Desired. Thirsted for.

It is my time. Time for people to see my value and worth. For me to be seen and heard…and honored. It is time for Father to honor me for my labor. Years of labor without pay here on this Earth. Time for my gifts to be presented to me by my King.

I believe that is what He is saying because that is what He has placed in my heart. It also fits with how He feels. It is time for the world to honor Christ/Father/Holy Spirit for who they are. I am merely a picture of the three of them. I represent them. They have been rejected by the masses for far too long now. It is time for the masses to pursue them and chase after them. To love them and hunger for their goodness.

They are worthy of being followed and since I carry them…I am worthy too.

It is time for the masses to see His glory. His glory within me. 🤩😆