Ya know the saying…desperate times call for desperate measures? Feeling that…in every fiber of my being.
I am in begging mode. I have been a beggar for over 30 years now…I figure begging Father some more…what will it hurt? 🤷♀️
Let me be completely transparent here…as I always am. In this post, I am going to be EXTREMELY RAW and REAL here. Some of you are going to get me…completely. Going to be able to relate. Others are going to look down on me. Condemn me for what I have been considering…and what I am about to share with you.
I have considered typing this up here before but decided it was inappropriate. Tonight…I am going for it…cuz I am just that desperate. I feel like I am supposed to share it now. Believing it will help me move forward…get the freedom I need.
I have spent the last few hours begging Jesus to get me out of here. Get me out of Hannah’s house. Separate me from her. Give me my freedom and independence. BEGGING. I am not kidding. Being serious. For real.
In this begging, I told Jesus…I will do whatever you tell me to do. I will go wherever you tell me to go. Say whatever you tell me to say…JUST GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.
Miracle
I decided I need a MIRACLE. FOR REAL.
As always…I said…Holy Spirit…take me by the hand. Lead me to the truth. Jesus…tell me the truth and/or truths I need to hear. If there is something I need to do to get out of here…tell me to do it. I will do it. Say it. Go…wherever I need to go.
It was then…this blog post came to my mind. This is why I am typing this up now. What many people would say is inappropriate…feels real fucking appropriate right now to me. If this is what I need to say and do to get out of here…I am doing it. There ya go…now ya know. 🤷♀️
For Sale
I have been considering putting myself up for sale to the highest bidder. Seriously been considering prostitution. Selling myself. I am that desperate for money.
Condemn me if you choose…I get why women exchange sex with a man for money. They are desperate to pay the bills.
The other option I have been seriously considering is getting a sugar daddy. Finding a man who is willing to pay my debts and take care of me financially.
I was telling Christ the other day…I am willing to marry a man now…for money. If a man is willing to take care of my physical needs in this world…I will marry him. First come…first served. Hell…I might even just live with him. Don’t have to marry him at all. 🤷♀️
I was telling Him…not even going to be that picky now. Gotta be at least somewhat physically attracted to him. If he has the money…I am in.
Love is no longer a prerequisite for me. 😂
I am to the point…I no longer want to ever think about money again. Don’t ever want to worry about it…ever. Let someone else worry over the money…NOT me.
Tired of this lifestyle. Ready for a different one. Whatever it takes.
Availability
I found out the little cabin in the woods I have lived in a couple of times is now open and available again. Seriously considering moving back in. The problem is…I don’t have the money to pay rent. Gotta have rent money and money to live on.
I know Father has a place prepared for me. A home. I am seeking His direction on whether I should move back to the country or not. If so, I have to have the money to do so.
This is why…I NEED a miracle desperately. I have a place available…but no money. I NEED someone to take care of my physical needs here on this Earth. That is going to take a man…in my opinion. I am now putting myself up for sale. Looking for a male who is willing to take care of my physical needs. That includes my financial needs.
I am willing to discuss marriage, living, and financial arrangements with a male who is interested in me. The offer is on the table. First come…first served.
There ya go. Desperate times call for desperate measures.