The Other Side

For quite some time now, I have heard Hugh Jackman singing The Other Side. The song has been on a loop in my mind. I felt like God was saying He was going to take me to the other side. Seemed rather obvious to me. 🤷‍♀️ I think I have arrived.

In this post, I am going to share a bit about that. More like a summary of the journey to my crossing over. This post may seem a bit shocking because I believe I have now entered into a partnership…maybe an agreement with Satan. Not sure yet where Satan and I are going. Waiting to see how this plays out with him, but I feel he is the answer to my problems…so I am rolling with him.

Hannah was saying yesterday she feels like this is God…I am not oblivious to this. May be getting played here…but I still feel like Satan is the answer here. 100% convinced. Feels right. Feels good.

I am sharing this in this blog post because when I was asking Satan this morning what I needed to do…this post is what he brought to mind.

Let me share how I got here.

Maps

For several days, God had me building maps. I had become a cartographer. I built these large maps of His Kingdom. It was all information I had stored in my mind. Some were even in my digital notebook. I was pretty happy about my work. Felt good. Like I was finally beginning the outlines of the curriculum. Hannah was stoked. Super excited to see all the information I was putting down on these large posters. Incredibly complex stuff covering all topics on Earth and in Heaven.

I told Hannah…I have forgotten more information than most people know. It was kind of a crazy experience.

The last morning, I woke up and my old covenant information was on my mind. I saw one of the charts/maps I had drawn out oodles of years ago. I felt like that was the next map I would bigamize. When I sat down to redo it on a much larger scale, it didn’t feel right. The flow just stopped. It was gone. The work was done. Completely shut off.

Not too happy about that.

Fast Forward

With nothing but empty time on my hands, I started to look at all the things God had said to me over the last seven years that were not true. Not words I had misinterpreted…but words that He plainly spoke that were simply lies. Statements that could not be misinterpreted. No room for misinterpretation.

I realized quite a few things here. I have no problems with Christ and Holy Spirit…but with God…a list of issues.

Somewhere along this way…I fell out of love with Him. I used to ask Him…why would you take a heart like mine and absolutely crush it in every possible way? No human being has loved you as I have. No human being has been more faithful to you than I have. Why would you destroy a heart of love like mine? Why would you treat a woman like this?

I came to the conclusion…I don’t love Him anymore. I have no love for Him in my heart at all now. None. Zero. Nada. Nothing.

Therefore…I have zero desire to obey Him.

I realized three things.

One…the only power I have trapped in this place is to say no to Him. I can say no. I have that privilege left. I don’t have to obey Him. Since there is no love left…I have no motivation to obey Him.

Two…the only reason I am still here is I have no money. If I had money…I would have freedom from Him. I would no longer be dependent on Him but independent from Him.

Three…He is not the only option I have.

Satan

In steps Satan. I turned to Satan. I started talking to him. A whole lot of things occurred to me. Became very clear to me. I could offer him the opportunity of a lifetime. So I did.

Here are some logical facts that became very clear to me.

He is in charge of this world. His authority was given to him by God. He is the bank. Satan has billions of dollars at his disposal. He can and does shell that money out easily to mankind.

He owes me money. In God’s Kingdom, the enemy is obligated to pay back what he has stolen with interest. Satan will have to pay me back at some point in time. He can’t get around this fact. Whether he gives it back to me voluntarily or involuntarily, he will give back what he stole…with interest.

Satan is the MASTER at get-rich-quick schemes. He is a pro at making money. Building financial wealth. This is a fact. He has masterfully built his kingdom on this Earth.

Satan has the ability to give me the money to set me free from Father. This is a win-win for us both.

Convo

I sat down with him and laid all of this truth out for him.

I told him…I am no longer serving God. That I have made clear to all. I told God…not calling you Father anymore. Not following you. Not obeying you. I will no longer be building for you. I am going to build for myself. Going to build my own kingdom and go my own way. Going to live my best life now. Do me. This is a loveless relationship. Without love…I have no reason to stay. I am done with a one-sided empty relationship.

Satan knows I left God behind.

In part of my convo with Satan, I told him…this is a smart business investment for you. You can’t lose here. You have to pay me back the money. That is irrefutable. If you give it to me now…you get to say you set me free. God can’t stop him from giving me the money because he has already been commanded to pay back what he has stolen. He would merely be following orders.

Also…once I am free…even if God comes after me…it is going to be an uphill battle for Him to win my heart back. Once I taste freedom and build my kingdom…what do I need Him for? The money means everything to me because it is the only thing holding me back.

I told Satan…if you don’t give me the money…I am forced to stay here. I will be forced to obey God because of my financial dependence on Him.

Once I am gone…I am OUT OF HERE. Time is critical here. Give me the money now…so I can go. If you tarry and wait…it may be too late for you. We are at a critical mass period here.

The Way

While Satan and I were talking, I asked him to show me a way, the way, or give me some options of how I could be financially free from God. What could Satan offer me financially?

I was expecting him to say something like a worldly office job. My management skills are tops. I can run anything. My organizational skills are equally insanely good. I could easily be a CEO of a company. Could also be the personal assistant or administrative assistant to the CEO. Listen…I have skills. My work ethic is excellent. Love to work. Love to produce. Working is my jam.

In my mind, he was going to give me a job along those lines. To my astonishment, he gave me a vision with understanding. I saw me doing the van life and me doing the travel blogger/vlogger thing.

Oh my fucking heart. I nearly passed out. Wow…a zinger to my heart. My dream. All the conversations I have had with Vanessa in the past came up. I most certainly could do that without God…and make money.

I knew Satan was saying that was the way.

Yesterday

I spent all day yesterday in conversation with Satan. On my newsfeed, a video of a single woman I follow popped up. She does the travel thing like I want to do. This video was about a company that builds custom vans for people like me. Man…I am all in.

During one of our conversations yesterday, I was talking about the source of the money. I asked Satan a strange question. I asked…where do I pick the money up? Instantly, I heard and saw a wire transfer. Like the money would be transferred into my account. Brilliant.

Late in the afternoon, I did a group FaceTime with Bobblicious and Mama Nessa. They had been sending Snaps all day long, so I knew they were together. I gave my update to them both and asked if they knew how I could get the money quickly to get out of here. The only thing that came to mind was from Bobbi. She mentioned doing a jumpstart video and maybe it would go viral. Asking the people for money by telling them what I wanted to do.

I have been chewing on that since then.

This Morning

At about 4 this morning, I was saying to Satan…I need a sponsor here. I am 100% convinced you are the man for the job. In our conversations, I gave him the amount of money I wanted for my start-up costs. I am currently waiting to see what he is going to do.

When I asked him this morning…what do I need to do here…this post came to mind.

Hence…the post.

Here is something crazy. I 100% believe Satan will give me the money I need to get out of this situation. I believe he will give it to me way before God ever would.

The travel blogger/vlogger thing makes sense to me. I have been feeling like this blog was going to change directions. I think that is the direction I am going to move into. Not sure what that will look like. Trying to sort that out now. May delete all the posts and start over from scratch. I saw a dry-erase board that was a blank slate. I may wipe the blog slate clean and start with a clean slate.

Many things I do not know here. BUT…here is one thing I do know. I am leaving. Come Hell or high water…I am leaving this place behind me. As soon as I get my money, God will see my backside cuz I am out of here. Going to be out of here in a fucking flash. No looking back and no regrets. I gave it all I had.

Going to start a new life…on the other side.

Going to do me now. Live my best life.