Intoxication

I have some things to say about intoxication in this post…obviously. As usual, I have other puzzle pieces to include in this post before I speak on the topic in the title. It all goes together. Really. It does. 😜

I haven’t written a post in over a month. Thought maybe I had forgotten how this whole thing works by now. 😳 Haven’t forgotten how to talk though. Have a lot of words to use. 😂

Still not sure why Father had me pull the plug on my online presence. It feels like to me…I rarely understand anything He says/does and why. He is The Great Mystery to me. The greatest wonder of all. Forget the wonders on Earth…they are nothing compared to the mind-boggling wonderment He causes me. 🤯😉 Anyway, I am back.

I mentioned in a previous post, it felt like I had come to an end of something. The posts were getting harder to write. He told me…we were moving in a different direction.

When I shut everything down, I asked Him…what direction are we moving into?

His response was this…partnership…marriage.

My response…ok…have no clue what you mean by that. 🤷‍♀️

I understand to a greater degree what He meant by that. Now…that may be truly a few millimeters of movement forward in the spirit realm. 😂 Still so much I don’t understand. BUT…I will share here some of the new understanding I have acquired along with some old information I already had. It paints a decent picture for the mind.

Photos

Let me share a bit of information on some of the photos used in this post. They actually fit quite nicely in this topic, believe it or not.

Back in January, Mr. Mitchell Man called me up and said…I have a question for you Mom.

Ok…lay it on me son.

It was a beautiful day outside and the man had a hankering to cook over the fire. He wanted some recommendations from me regarding what he could/should cook.

Man…I was all about that!! *Rubbing hands together with a cheesy grin.*

Of course, steak was my first suggestion. As you can see in the featured image, the boy liked my suggestion. 😜

A lot of the photos in this post are the pics he sent me that day. Also included…is a portion of our text conversation regarding his enjoyment while cooking.

Chef

This ties in with and combines longtime loves/gifts Father has bestowed upon me.

• Hospitality
• Love of food/cooking
• Desire for fine dining. Five-star baby!!!! 😜😍
• Thrill of trying new cultural foods/experiences/adventures
• Love of intimacy in all forms. Shallow to deep. My love of people and connecting with them.
• Feeding people over the years…lots of people.

For years, our family has watched cooking shows of all sorts. When Mr. Mitchell Man was in high school, I purchased an online program by a chef. Mitchell loves cooking. I thought he would love that course. He did. We had a lot of fun cooking together in the kitchen trying new techniques.

Recently, Father had me subscribe to a chef who works on a yacht. Love watching her come up with beautiful creations for the guests. Looks like fine dining to me. Such beautiful plating!!!! 😆

The other day, while watching her…I said to Him again…I want to be a five-star chef. I want to create a fine dining experience for the masses. I have mentioned in a previous post, many years ago, He told me on three separate occasions…Feed My Sheep.

It is my heart’s desire to feed them well.

Vision

One of the visions I saw this morning led me to believe I was supposed to get back online again.

The vision was of a convention center. A large stadium. A conference center. Been to many of those over the years.

In front of the center, people were lined up in different lines waiting to get in for the show. It was like a conference was getting ready to start. A concert. A production. It was a major show. The people were waiting to get in.

I knew a couple of things with this vision.

One…it is the people waiting on the prophesied Esther to be unveiled…revealed on this Earth.

Two…that is me. They are waiting on Father to reveal me to the world.

This vision led me to a discussion with Him. In the discussion, He was instructing me to get back online. I had moved into the place He had been leading me through and to while I was working behind the scenes. I will enlighten you on that in a bit.

Cherry Blossom Festival

Another piece of this puzzle is the Cherry Blossom Festival in D.C. While in bed this morning, it popped up in my mind. A complete interruption of what I was working on at the time. Kind of startled me actually.

In a previous post from last year, I had written I was thinking I was supposed to attend. In fact, Hannah called me wanting to set up a date/time for the two of us to head that way. At that time, I was in Michigan. I had been chewing and stewing on the festival for several days prior to her call.

I told her where I had landed on the notion. If this ole gal was going to head to D.C. again, I felt like I needed to go with my Husband. It felt like a couple’s trip…not a mother-daughter trip. I wanted Him to provide a better experience for me than what I have been living for SO MANY YEARS. Tired of being homeless…living in poverty. Tired of constantly wondering how I am supposed to pay for these excursions. 🤨 I wanted a trip as a married couple. That was my heart’s desire.

I told Hannah…I am not going unless He takes me Himself.

This morning, I was reminded of last year’s conversation and conclusion.

It feels like I am supposed to attend the festival this year. Not sure if that is in the physical…the spiritual realm…or both.

The blossoms appear this month.

Dream

I believe I have mentioned in the past somewhere on this blog about a dream I had years ago. In that dream, Father took me on a trip to NYC to wine and dine me. A bit of romance as it were.

First, He purchased me some jewelry. We then moved on to buying me a whole new wardrobe. In between this shopping, He wined me and dined me at fine dining restaurants. Five-star. Next up, He took me to a car dealership and had me pick out a brand-new vehicle. I purchased my dream truck and then covered the thing in accessories. When the weekend trip was over, I went home to live with Him as His wife. When I got to His house, Donovan and his family joined me there.

I kind of feel like I have been moving through that dream spiritually speaking.

Skipping around in the dream, I want to talk about the vehicle. I believe that represents my drive. My passion. Desire. I think I got my new truck.

My drive has changed. For as long as I can remember, I wanted to love and to know. I still want those things…however now…I have shifted over to my passion being to be loved and be known.

We were created to love and be loved. To know and be known. As I have said on repeat, we were created for love and intimacy.

Different Direction

So…part of me moving in a different direction…into partnership/marriage…is shifting gears here. Having a shift in my drive.

Let me be kind of blunt here…if you imagine this being sex…which intimacy with Christ is a picture of sex in the physical realm…then I no longer want to be on top…but on the bottom so to speak. 😂

I am ready to be loved. Receive love from my man. I am ready to be known by my man.

This includes mankind. Super complicated. So many layers to this.

One layer…

Christ is going to marry His collective Bride which is a picture of a female to make them man and woman.

As the female Christ…the Second Eve…I must marry a collective husband out of mankind composed of men and women to complete the picture of male and female.

This will complete the work of the Marriage Covenant which is called the New Covenant in the Bible.

Christians will teach you erroneously that when Christ proclaimed it was finished on the cross, that the New Covenant was complete. What Christ meant…in part…was His part…His offering/sacrifice was completed. His work was done. His portion was finished.

The female Christ…me…has to do her/my portion…which I have been doing behind the scenes. The Marriage Covenant is not complete without the Second Eve. Male and female…not just the Second Adam/male. I believe I have mentioned this before here on this blog.

Unity

I have finally arrived at a place in this work where I am unified with Father/Christ/Spirit on every bit of everything He has planned. This includes the timing of it all.

Now…you can’t know what a work this has been for me to get to this place…especially about the timing. Time has been a huge issue between us. Being trapped in a prison cell…makes time move at the speed of slow. Extreme slow. Add the Wilderness to that…worse. Add being trapped in Hell for five years of that time…well…there are no words for that layer of this saga. 🤷‍♀️🤐

Time and the movement of it…wow…can’t tell you what a hard work that has been in me. 🏋️‍♀️💪

However, I am pleased to announce I told Christ…I am in agreement with your timing now. I have given the male gender complete control over this situation.

Heaven should be shaking at those words. I never thought I would get here. 😂

Hannah was saying…wow…this is significant. You have never been here before. 😂 Especially not about timing.

It is a big deal. A very big deal. It should be celebrated. Just sayin’. 😜

I am ready to be known by the people. The masses. Ready to be in a true marriage. A real partnership.

C.R.A.Z.Y. 🤯 This is a wow moment folks. It really is. 😜

Esther

Let’s back up to earlier when I said in the vision I knew the people were waiting on the prophesied Esther…me. There is a lot to this. I have written much about this in the past. Shared with y’all how irritating it has been watching the masses claiming my position. I have shared a lot about all the little things regarding this attempted identity theft that have really ticked me off at times. How some of it completely baffles me in every way.

I have been watching this crazy attempt by the enemy to steal my place for years now. It has been part of the training. Part of my work. Having to clean up every little irritant within me. Gotta be purified. Father loves to nitpick. Gotta get all those little nits out. Can’t leave one thing behind.

At times, I am fascinated by the accuracy of the revelation people are getting about me. At times, I am entertained by the sheer stupidity, ignorance, and the immaturity of some. Other times, I have been seriously offended in the beginning.

As I work to clean up my shit, I come to a place of peace. The truth changes your perspective if you will allow it to.

One reason I am ready to be on the bottom here and receive…I am tired. Tired of working. Tired of fighting. Super sick and tired of watching people talk about me online. I am over it all. Seriously. Let’s get this show on the road man.

Comment

Another reason…I am ready for the masses to KNOW the truth about me. Ready for Him to introduce me to the world. Feeling mighty proud of this introverted self for getting to this place. Man…such a hard work to willingly become a petri dish under a microscope for the whole world to dissect every molecule of my being and entire existence. 🤯

The final straw of this work was a recent comment about me on YouTube. On occasion, Father makes me peruse the comments about me on a variety of videos about me.

One comment got my dander up a bit. I had to respond to the inaccuracy of it. The comment was…I didn’t deserve the position Father put me in and I didn’t deserve what He was going to give me.

I told Hannah…and Father/Christ/Spirit…those are fighting words right there. 🤯 Put your dukes up buddy…cuz I am ready to fight!

Don’t tell us…I don’t deserve what Father gives me. Not after the work I have done for over 30 years. WOW!

I asked Father…why does that piss me off in every possible way? This is what He said…it dishonors, disrespects, diminishes, and disregards the spiritual work you have done co-laboring with Christ.

To say I don’t deserve what Father is going to give me…is saying to Christ Himself…plus Father and Spirit they don’t deserve what they have.

I didn’t do this in my flesh. This is a work led by His Spirit. A spiritual work. We…Crystal Ann Laura/Father/Christ/Holy Spirit deserve all the honor we have.

Greater Work

I have said before, the work I have done is greater than the work Christ did.

Let me share one aspect of that.

Christ came here as a perfect man. His flesh was perfection from beginning to end. Never once did He fall short of His own glory.

I on the other hand…was born into a fallen world as a fallen man. This woman had to claw and crawl out of the pit of Hell. I had to work toward perfection. That means I had to look at my bad self 24/7 for over 30 years cleaning that bad self up to be eligible to attain my crown from Him. To be united with perfection means you must be purified first.

You can’t imagine that work. Trust me. Spend five years in Hell carrying the sins of the masses…while battling Satan and his minions…then come back and let’s talk about what I do or do not deserve.

People arrogantly speak about things they do not know…as IF they know the truth.

That being said…I am tired of the lies/deception being vomited out of the mouths of mankind about me. About Father. About Christ. His Spirit. People need the truth about who we are.

The warrior in me wants to yield my sword and start slashing heads.

Theranos

One piece of this puzzle pertains to Theranos. I watched that saga play out years ago. As I have mentioned before, scams fascinate me. Also…the components of sociology and psychology pique my interest. All pieces of the puzzle attract my brain like a moth is attracted to the light. I can’t stay away. Gotta see the truth in it. I need to see what is behind the veil of deception.

During my time offline, I have been rewatching the whole saga. Found the depositions of Elizabeth Holmes and Sunny Balwani on YouTube…devoured them…and numerous documentaries on the saga.

Also…while this was going on…Vanessa sent me a video to watch on a sociopath who did an interview. She is a therapist…who treats children along with adults for mental health issues. Man…this woman wears the title of sociopath like it is a badge of honor. Vanessa thought I would be interested in the video…which I was…but also, she wanted some questions answered from me about some of the things this woman said.

The timing of the Theranos study along with the sociopath video was Father’s impeccable timing. He always amazes me.

There is too much to this study to share here. BUT…I want to share a tiny bit as it pertains to investing. Where I am going here with this post.

Investments

Every single thing in this post is so interwoven…it is mind-boggling how it all fits together. Even if I don’t share it well…it does.

One of the issues with scams in this world…which Theranos was one…is that people don’t do their due diligence to research…dig out the truth…behind the curtain BEFORE they invest their hard-earned money.

Here is the truth. A harsh truth you must accept for your own mental wellness. People lie. Every single day…people are lying to you. You are lying to you. You are deceived. The truth is…YOU are a slave to lies and deception that you believe in your mind. Then YOU spread those lies to the people around you.

The people you are in a relationship with are lying to themselves about a gazillion different things just like you…then they spread those lies to you.

People are telling you they love you when there is no love in them. At all. Love is a WORK/FRUIT of Holy Spirit. Physical affection is NOT love. Emotional affection is NOT love.

A mother cat has affection for her kittens. Father created certain animals to tend to and care for their offspring. Man has that same base/animalistic affection toward humans. That includes children and adults.

True love in the heart can only come when Holy Spirit plants the seed of His fruit and then you water it.

Facts.

This is why man says…I love you to people…then later…they no longer love them. That was NEVER love. It was natural affection.

His love…NEVER dies. It ALWAYS remains. His love is something that is impossible to shake free from.

Evidence

It is our job as humans…to look for evidence of truth. To NOT just buy into the lies and deception that mankind uses to manipulate others with.

We were CREATED to seek out the Truth…Him…and Evidence of His Truth…Him. To KNOW. This is intimacy. We were created to know and be known.

Ok…so back to Theranos. Those who invested in the company of Theranos are examples of people who invested without proof/evidence that the company’s claims of what they could do and were doing…were true. Millions of dollars were poured into a company that was lying to the people. The curtain was torn down and lo and behold…it was all a pile of lies and deception.

To me…evidence of truth is paramount. I need to see evidence. The logical, left-brain dominant portion of me screams for evidence. I can’t buy in…unless I have proof of truth. That is who I was created to be. I was created to be a container for Truth…Him.

One aspect of my bafflement with the fake Esthers out there…is their complete lack of asking Father for evidence to back up His claims they are who He says they are. The very first time He told me who I was…I started arguing with Him. As I have mentioned before, that has been a MAJOR part of this work over the years. Working to believe I am who He says I am. I will do what He says I will do. Wow…such a hard work for me.

Returns

The fact that all these women have just bought into the deception from the enemy, they are Esther…has boggled my mind. I wanted evidence from Him. He needed to back those words up to me. I am not buying into a Ponzi scheme here. This ole gal has been there and has that T-shirt. Not into buying lies and deception ever again. Life is too short to invest all that time and energy into a lie.

I need a return on my investment. I have tried to imagine what all these women will feel and think when they realize they were being lied to by the enemy. Can’t do it. I have tried on repeat. Can’t imagine that horror. The shame. Embarrassment. The devastation…knowing it wasn’t them. It was never them. They were never even in the running. This is not a contest here.

My destiny was set into motion before time on Earth began. I was created in His mind and chosen thousands of years ago. I did nothing to be chosen for this position and time. He chose that long ago.

What I did…was invest in His plan. For over 30 years, I have worked my little fanny off getting prepared for this coming time.

Clarity

Crystal is clear. I AM Clearly Crystal.

So, let’s be clear here…I earned every FUCKING penny He gives me. Every bit of honor. Every gift of His Spirit. The title to it ALL must be signed over to me. All of it goes in my name. I am not here for halfsies people. My negotiation with Him was for Him to hand it all over to me. He gets to lay down His life and give it to me.

If that is what He required of His Son for His Bride…then this is what I require from Christ’s Father. Like Father…like Son. He must live what He preaches.

Esther’s King said He would give her UP TO HALF. Oh HELL NO. I want it all…or nothing.

Wardrobe

Let’s go back up to the dream with me getting a new wardrobe.

I believe I have walked through that. I can’t remember if I mentioned on here…during this time…Father said to me…I have you covered.

That means a lot of things, right? I say that all the time. Everything He says has multiple meanings behind it. Always.

One…that means…I am clothed fully in the Sun/Son. It is me in Revelation 12.

Another thing it means is that the wineskin…His clothing…His perfect flesh…is covering me. This vessel which was created to carry His truth…is now covered in the new wineskin. My purification is completed. My training…the work is done.

Wedding at Cana

While I have been offline, I went back and studied a lot of things. The wedding in Cana, where Christ submits to His natural mother by turning the water into wine…performs what Christians say is His first miracle. I don’t believe that is true. His mother KNEW intimately His supernatural abilities. I believe this is because she had been experiencing them at home with Him as He grew up.

His mother was NOT surprised here. Christ wasn’t going to intervene. He only intervened because His mother requested that He do so.

For His natural mother…He turned the water into wine FOR the wedding feast. It was a private miracle. Only the servants and His mother knew what He did at the time. This is a prophetic picture of what He will do for me…His Spiritual mother…for the coming Wedding Feast.

New Wineskin

I also went back and checked out the new wineskin scriptures.

So much teaching here…I can’t put it in this post. What I am going to share is how it pertains to me…a TINY portion of it.

One…I need Him to take me…as a stone jar used only for purification purposes…filled with fresh clean water…and turn the water that is already in me…the truth…as the water/word…into wine…His intoxicating love. As His Spiritual mother, I am asking Christ to turn my water into wine. It is time for the Wedding Feast…and I need this wine for the masses. So I can be poured out as a drink offering to the people. To fill them with His love. As EVIDENCE to me…and to the masses…I AM who He claims I AM.

Then secondly, I need Him to fill the new wineskin (me) with new wine.

That goes back to instead of me being on the top in a sexual position…I am now going to be on the bottom. I will receive.

The truth I already have inside of me will be miraculously changed into an intoxicating love by His Spirit. Truth in His Spirit.

Then a new love, which is also truth…will be poured into me by my husband, which will intoxicate me.

It is a double portion of intoxicating love…inside of me.

All to be poured out to the people.

Intoxication

These truths being poured into me are multifaceted. Multipurposed like everything He does.

It will give me proof/evidence of what He has been speaking to me for OODLES of years now.

Then…it will give the masses the proof of who I AM. I AM who He says I AM.

It will also give mankind more evidence that Christ is/was/will always be who He claimed/claims He is.

Humanity will have no excuses for believing He does not exist. That He doesn’t love them. Doesn’t care about them. Doesn’t have their best interest in His heart.

Father WANTS to give mankind proof/evidence of His existence. He wants man to KNOW intimately and experientially the truth about who we are. What we have done.

He desires to wine and dine me…His wife.

He desires for me to wine and dine my spiritual husband…humanity…as the female Christ/Second Eve.

His desire is to be intimate with His children. For Christ to merge into unity, marriage, and oneness with His Bride…the Third Temple…His body. Christ needs His Bride to come under submission to His headship. For His body to become one unit. All members working together as the body should.

Change

A little note…the above pictures are screenshots of snaps from Donovan shortly after Mr. Mitchell Man was cooking over the fire on that nice day in January. The weather in the Midwest is always a trip of epic proportions. Never know from one day to the next what you will have. 😂 It all can change THAT QUICKLY. One day you are freezing your ass off and the next day people are wearing shorts.

Crazy how quickly things can change in the Midwest.

Sum it Up

This coffee shop is preparing to close. The workers have done a ton of end of the day closing stuff while I am finishing up this post. I shall end it here before they boot me out. I have been here all day. 😂

To sum it all up…

I believe it is time for me to get the proof of the truth. Evidence. To get the truth of what Father has been preaching for years. Physical proof. For me.

He reminded me the other day of something He has said on repeat the last eight years.

Some things you have to see to believe. Also…I won’t see it coming.

Some things…His supernatural power…mankind can’t imagine. It is beyond what our finite minds can see or imagine. It is greater than.

When He reminded me of these truths…it took the pressure off me to believe something I can’t imagine. Something I cannot see. It removed the worry of thinking I might be in doubt or unbelief. It was super kind of Him to remind me of those truths. Alleviated any negative pressure within me.

Meeting the Needs

He is going to give me the evidence I need. He will wine me and dine me with powerful truths. Intoxicating truths which will overpower me with love. His love.

Then…in turn, I will be poured out as the drink offering to intoxicate the people with our love. I have already undergone the transformation behind the scenes. I have been sacrificed as every sacrifice in the Old Testament. It is nearing time for me to offer those offerings up for the people. As a whole burnt offering…I AM Holy. I have been purified and crucified for the people. My Red Heifer offering is ready. I can bring the offering of purity to the masses. All who will come…will be cleansed. The Bride of Christ can be prepared.

He will meet my needs…and the needs of the people.

Excited to see what He has in store for me. Thrilled my work is over. There are no words to describe the elation I feel handing it all over to Him to make happen what He has planned to happen.