Feel Like Dancing

I don’t just feel like dancing…I AM dancing in my heart.

Last night, I finished up my blog post around 10 pm I would say. After posting it, I came out of the cave into the kitchen, and everybody was in bed. Lights off. I was WIDE awake…no sleep going to happen for me. I was PUMPED UP!!! Kind of on a high I would say. No one to celebrate with so I messed around in the kitchen for a bit. Thought maybe I could fall asleep, so I climbed into bed. NO WAY! Not happening to me.

I remembered Vanessa sent me a video she wanted me to watch so I pulled that up to watch it. The mind of the psychopath. I thought maybe all the talk about serotonin, synapses, brain functions, and psychopath vs sociopath talk would lull me to sleep. NOPE. I looked at the clock after midnight and realized this whole sleep thing was futile by this point.

Lying there and staring at the stars, I tried to figure out what had me feeling like I was on speed inside. During this time…I am hearing the song…You Make Me Feel Like Dancing by Leo Sayer in my mind. Father has serenaded me with this song a number of times in the past few years. All I know…I most certainly felt like dancing.

Energy

I finally dozed off to sleep sometime this morning only to wake up before the crack of dawn. STORY OF MY LIFE. Sleep is elusive. SO…I decided to start exploring the neighborhood. Since I am banned from the woods, I figure I will branch out and start walking along the road and check out the neighboring farms. Why not? Tonto was thrilled to see the leash come out…he knew what that meant. W.A.L.K. I have to spell the word around him. He knows what the word means. An excited German Shepherd is not my idea of fun…indoors. He is big, he is bulky, he is loud, and he is like a bull in a China shop. I always end up hurt. He doesn’t get the concept of boundaries and personal space.

We both needed to expend some ENERGY. While on our walk, I finally figured out why I was so UP…why I AM dancing in my heart. After 20 years plus, of longing for a dream…it feels like it is really here. Something changed inside of me after I did my post last night. I can’t say what for sure, but it was dramatic inside. I feel different. My situation hasn’t changed from a physical perspective, but my heart sure has. I feel lighter…less burdened…freer…not that I felt chained yesterday or burdened. So very odd.

Wonderful

Truly.

After a long phone conversation with a friend this afternoon, I realize I have a few people checking out my blog. I am grateful. It feels like I am finally going somewhere. Not sure where…but somewhere. Definitely moving in a forward direction.

It is interesting because I thought I would spend some time in the whirly pool this afternoon to relax. I decided listening to Metallica sing we are off to NEVER NEVER LAND is not conducive to relaxation. However…it does feel true that I am off to that land…wherever that land may take me. 😍

I AM dancing with a heart full of gratitude. Gratitude to be in this place in this space in this life during this time.