The truth sets us free…and love heals the heart. If you stick around long…you will hear me repeat those two truths…A LOT. They are so very important to our existence.
Over the weekend, Father and I talked about love and forgiveness. It was a theme for the weekend. Such an incredible conversation. Last night, we finished the conversation up. Feel led to share part of that here.
If you have read any of my recent past posts, you will know I have been asking Him to tell me what He thinks of me. He did a bit of that last night. I was in awe of myself. In awe of Him. In awe of us both.
I wanted to preface this post with that truth…otherwise…I am going to sound like I am bragging about myself. It isn’t that. I am starting to see a bit more clearly the beauty within my heart. Seeing my own beauty from His lenses of truth. His eyes. I suspect this is going to be a theme for a while now. Me seeing myself from His perspective. This is one eye-opening lesson with the eyes focused on Crystal’s heart. Him holding the mirror up to me in front of my own heart…which reflects His heart. Two for one deal here.
After discussing love and forgiveness all weekend and reflecting on all past relationships…I had an epiphany last night. His love inside my heart…is absolutely breathtakingly beautiful. I sat there speechless for a while.
Radical Obedience
Over the years, I have been used and abused. My default setting is to forgive all offenses against me. To love the person…to forgive…and do the work it takes to make the relationship work. I have a large number of relationships in my past that have ended. Not because I wasn’t willing to do the work to make it work, but because the other person didn’t want to grow and change. I loved each one of them dearly. Beyond what they all can know and/or comprehend.
Some relationships I have been in…were abusive. I suffered. Immensely.
Eventually, I had to wipe the dust off my feet and move on. To move forward without them.
Many of them, I tried. I worked hard. I forgave, and forgave, and forgave, and forgave, and forgave, etc. And loved, and loved, and loved, and loved and loved, etc.
To many…that would seem like toxic behavior…maybe I stayed out of desperation. Maybe I didn’t see my own value and worth, so I clung to the person.
Last night, Father said to me…”radical obedience.” That is me. He was saying I am radically obedient.
Love
He is clear in His word…those that love me…obey me. If you obey me…you love me. How you tell and show Father you love Him is to obey Him.
If you say you love Him, but you do not walk in obedience to Him…you are a liar. That is a fact. No obedience….NO love for Him. Your words and your actions must equal out. Back each other up. Line up. Your actions are the evidence of your love for Him…or your hatred toward Him.
He was saying…the reason I obey Him radically is because I passionately love Him. My love for Him is radical in nature.
True. Yep. Agreed with Him.
Rejection
Then He was showing me my love for the people He has placed in my life over the years to love for Him…in His name with His heart. How they had mistreated me. Failed to love me back in return. How they rejected me. Rejection…over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. And how I forgave and loved. Forgave and loved. Forgave and loved. Etc. Always willing to welcome them into my arms if they would be willing to grow and change.
The love I carry is…deep, long, wide, unlimited, unconditional, unending, etc.
I tell you…I sat there speechless for a while. Staring at the love I have poured out…wowser. No words for how beautiful that love is. Unimaginable. Stupefying. Mind-boggling.
Watching myself in the past loving on people…people who hated me and rejected me and yet I loved them. Madly. Passionately. Deeply. Fervently.
Unbelievable love in my heart…Unbelievable…Unbelievable.
So beautiful. The love is so beautiful.
Beauty
I reflected on the beauty of the love in my heart for people…then His love for mine is His and His is mine. That is how Christ feels for His Bride. She is a prostitute prostituting herself and He is longing to be with her, yet she is so focused on living life her way. Still, He loves her.
Beautiful…beyond measure. I know that love. I have that love in my heart.
When I finally started to get a hold of the fact of what I have been doing for years with people…I started to look back over the people that have rejected me. Rejected my love for them.
Here is the deal. They ALWAYS blame me for the death of the relationship. NEVER their fault. ALWAYS my fault. ALWAYS.
Same with Father. He always gets the blame. Always. Never man’s fault.
Father and I stand hard like a rock. We want the heart. Obedience. Love. Growth and change.
The Summit
I look at it like this. I am climbing to the summit of the mountain. You are welcome to climb with me…but if you don’t want to reach the summit…you are welcome to stay behind…but I am going to keep climbing. My goal is the summit. If you want to hang out at the bottom and look up…great. Enjoy the view from there. Not mad at you…but I gotta keep climbing.
If you want to climb a bit and then you think…man…this is too much work…you are welcome to stop and head back down. But as for me…I am a climber, and I AM going to the top come Hell or high water. I AM going to reach the summit and enjoy the view from the top too. Personally, I am not content sitting at the bottom and looking at the view from there. I want to be in the clouds people. A magical experience there. Nothing like it.
So if you don’t want to climb to the top with me…when that is where I am going…don’t blame me and don’t blame Father you chose to quit climbing with us. Your choice…not ours. Anyone who spends ANY amount of time with me…knows pretty quickly…radical obedience here. I AM heading to the top and no one and nothing will keep me from reaching that summit. I will die getting there if I have to…and I have died. Daily.
Fools
The next bit of reflection I did was how foolish people are that reject the love I have poured out on them. I mean seriously. Fools. Idiots.
I could not wrap my mind around why a person would reject me. Reject the love I poured out on them.
Because they are arrogant and don’t want to grow and change??? You would reject love just so you don’t have to hear the truth??? You would rather listen and consume lies and deception?
Makes absolutely no sense to me.
It is like the prostitute. She would rather have her “lover” (the enemy) lie to her (saying I love you) rather than have real love. Satan is a liar. The mere words “I love you” mean more to you than the actions of love? You’re fine with just words and no evidence to back them up??? Seriously. The enemy is abusive. Makes relationships miserable. Truly.
I have laid my life down for countless people over the years and they reject that love.
Christ laid His life down for His Bride. For His friends. That is love. There is no greater form of love than to lay your life down for someone and die.
Mind-blowing to me how foolish and blind people can be that they can’t see the value and worth of love. Not the man’s counterfeit love…but real love.
Sacrificial Love
Christ’s love is a love that heals the hearts of those who are broken. He is a man who sacrificed everything so I could have a new life. So I could have a life.
I wish…wish so very much…that I could impart to you…just how deep, how wide, and how long Father’s love is for each of you. The world’s version of love…isn’t love. It isn’t even close to love. It is fake. Not real. It is ugly…not beautiful. It brings death…not life.
Man’s “love” and Father’s love…two different ways. Man’s “love” is selfish…self-centered. Users using for “love” of self not others. Father’s love is sacrificial. He dies daily to show you His love for you. Foolish to choose man’s counterfeit “love” over the real deal.
Today…I am embracing Father’s healing love for my heart, and I am looking forward to the healing journey I am on. As He elevates me, honors me, invests in me, and pours love into me…I am going to be whole again.
Love is the only thing that can heal the heart. It is Him. His love.
Choose love. The truth.