I have a lot of words to use this evening on the topic of greater than. This post has been sitting incomplete behind the scenes. I felt like this evening, the post finally settled down in my mind. More things had to happen to finish it up in my head. I needed more information yet.
Let me start it out by sharing this. Most of the pictures on here are of my grandkids taken this summer. Our family has had a wonderful summer together. I am thrilled to get to spend time with my kids and grandkids. It is an honor and privilege I don’t take lightly.
Puzzle Pieces
I have an enormous amount of pieces to this puzzle. All day long, I have struggled with how to piece this together…wondering what to include in this post. It is important to me…it all makes sense.
Finally, I decided to just wing it. Fly with Holy Spirit. Sit and write not really knowing what I will include.
One piece.
Many years ago, Father and I had a series of conversations about our relationship. In those conversations, I said several things that are relevant here.
One…I told Him I wanted to be one with Him. Not just Husband and Wife one…but greater than that. I wanted to BE Him. I sound like a heretic to those in the Christian Religious System already, don’t I? 😂 🤷♀️
I told Him…I don’t want you to withhold ANYTHING from me. Nothing. I want to KNOW you. I want to carry you inside of me. If you know it, I want to know it. In fact, I want to know what you know…think as you think…feel as you feel. I want to love what you love and hate what you hate.
All of that is important to who I am today…and who I am moving to be tomorrow.
Lesser Than
As I have shared before, I have been lesser than all my life up to this point. The last. Hated in mass. Rejected in mass. Why? Because of my love for Father.
I have passionately served him for 30-plus years which puts me at odds with the flesh. My flesh and the flesh of mankind. The flesh always opposes the Spirit. Just how it works. I know that.
Five of those years were beyond description in pain, suffering, torment, and death. During that time and even today, I have repeatedly said…I would rather have been Christ crucified on the cross. It would have been less painful. Even though once again I sound like a heretic, I stand by that truth.
Part of my greater-than story revolves around those five years. As a result of that work, I have a much higher opinion of myself. I have truth. These indisputable truths I take to Father in our discussions.
Esther
As I mentioned in my Esther post, I have had some struggles relating to all things Esther. In processing thoughts and feelings with Him regarding Esther, I concluded…I better be the one. The only one. The one and only. Otherwise, He is going to see my backside walking away from Him. There will be no return either.
Here is one of the reasons for that mindset and heartset. I have done the work. I have earned it. Crystal Ann Laura…should own it all.
In the book of Esther, the King is willing to give her UP TO HALF of his kingdom. He is NOT willing to lay his life down and give it ALL to his wife…just UP TO HALF. There are conditions to it. That isn’t love. This is what you call being self-centered. All about self. Selfish. Self-protection. The flesh of man. That is a prenup…the man protecting himself. Selfishly putting himself and his possessions before her.
No thanks, man. Listen…I can take care of myself thank you very much. 🤨
Marriage
In a marriage…a healthy one…where two people are equally yoked across the board in all things…the two become one. UNIFIED. They walk in unity. Only Holy Spirit can bring two people into unity. His job is to unify those people who are listening to Father. If you are listening to Father’s truth…you will be unified with the other people who are also listening to Father. It is a pretty cool way to live.
The Bride of Christ…is supposed to have His ears to hear…so she is supposed to be transformed into His likeness. Become ONE with Him, right?
Ok…that being said…when this whole thing is over and the two of them become one in marriage. She is now one with Him…Her Husband, who is deity. Okay…now from a logical perspective…she will also become deity then, right?
Deity
If He is deity and His wife…who is His body…now becomes ONE with Him…the two are now deity. See? That is logical from a spiritual perspective.
Ok…if you see where I am going here…then you would understand that if Father wants me to be His wife…then I should become one with Him and I too would become deity with Him when I become one with Him.
That is one point of this whole process of uniting in Christ. The work you do with Him is to become like Him so that one day you will become one with Him and be His body. Him.
If you look at it from a worldly perspective…it is the crown chakra. Divine consciousness. We are to think like deity as we embrace His truth.
Elevated
I want to be elevated…past Christ. Crystal Ann already became like Christ. I was crucified with Him.
My desires are for Father to elevate me and honor me before the people.
Many years ago, I kept saying to Him…if you want me to teach the Bride…you must back me up. You must back me up with power and authority. They must KNOW you are the one who has sent me…because they don’t listen to me, and they don’t believe me when I speak your truths. Used to frustrate the Hell right out of me. I finally worked through those issues and now…people get the choice to choose death. I choose life. You get to do you boo. You want death…you can have it. Not for me. 🤷♀️
I always think of ice skating. The pairs skating. I grew up watching ice skating. LOVE it.
It is the picture of the man when he lifts up his female partner in her pretty outfit and spins her around in front of the people. He is a super strong man to lift her up and hold her there. No doubts about the strength of the man. BUT…the focus is on the woman. He proudly lifts her up and wants the whole world to see how beautiful she looks spinning around up above him.
The male partner elevates her beauty above his quiet strength. He lifts her above himself. His focus is on her…because all focus is supposed to be on her. His role is to elevate her.
Get the picture?
Glory
Father once asked me…why did you do what you did?
Our united response…for the glory of love. Think Peter Cetera…it is one of our songs. 😍
I did it for love man…all for love. I loved Him so much I laid my life down for Him.
That being said…I gave all…I want it all. I am not about UP TO HALF of Father’s Kingdom…I want to OWN ALL HIS KINGDOM! No joke man…no joke.
Sign that baby over to me. Put my name on the title thank you very much.
I want Him to lay His life down for me and give me His glory.
Why? For the Glory of Love.
If He asks His Son to lay down His life for His Bride…then like Father like Son. The Father needs to put His money where His mouth is. He should lay down His life for His Bride. Lift me up. Elevate me…above Him.
Years ago, He said to me…I am going to put you front and center stage…and it will give me great pleasure to do so.
At the time, I wasn’t really a fan of the idea. Oodles of reasons why I was disinclined to agree this was a good idea. Now…I am not only in agreement…I am quite adamant this is the only way to go here.
Again…can I repeat myself…I earned it. Every penny.
I want to be worshipped…by the masses. I want them to bow down and obey me.
It is the glasses. 😍 The glasses are as cute as Mavis.
The reflection in the glasses tells the story of the day.
This was Memorial Weekend while we were hanging out at a local lake. Bobbi’s bra straps remind me of the guy who got a good look at her breastfeeding. 😂
This is a spot we visit regularly with our blankets and food. Picnics at the lake are fantastic.
You can see Hannah and I both lying on the blankets, while Esme is in the stroller hanging out. My book and my water remind me of the work I was doing while relaxing.
A very sweet memory of a wonderful day this summer.
Covenant
Why do I say that?
Because He promised me, He was going to make a covenant with me. It is called the Covenant of Truth.
To me…that means ALL truth. I keep saying. That includes ALL knowledge of ALL truth of ALL things…and people. If Father knows it, I know it. That includes every little detail about every little thing and every person. Past. Present. Future.
I don’t ever want to ask someone a question that I don’t already know the answer to. Also, I don’t want to be asked a question I don’t already know the answer to.
There are a lot of reasons why I have been asking for these things and more for many years. One includes the fact He spanked me many years ago about the fact I was a pathological liar. He wanted me to be an honest woman. A woman of integrity. A woman who tells the truth.
Ok…so we worked through that.
Truth
That is one of the reasons I have been rejected and hated in mass. I speak the truth. Very few people want to hear the truth…especially about themselves when the truth hurts them.
I was hated because of the truth…so I should then in turn be loved because of the truth. He should honor me for the work I have done…which is rooted in the truth and love.
I want His glory and I don’t want to share it with another. Especially those who haven’t done the work I have done. Made the sacrifices I have made.
She saw me taking a photo and stuck her finger in it for scale. Smarticles! 😍
Understanding
I sound arrogant but I am not.
During my five years of Hell, I kept saying to Father…this whole idea of everyone bowing down to you and telling you how wonderful you are just seems messed up to me now.
Recently, in a conversation I have mentioned on this blog, He was telling me I had to become like Christ. In part, I did that by being crucified. Another part of that was becoming hard. I was concerned about the fact I had become so hardened in some areas. He reassured me that Christ was the rock…hard and immovable. Ok…one of those areas I am starting to have a new understanding and appreciation here. Let me share.
Remember I said I had told Him years ago; I want to think as you think. Feel as you feel.
When I shared with Him…I want the glory, honor, respect, reverence, worship, etc…and I don’t want to share it.
That is how He thinks and feels Himself.
Why?
Because no one else is like Him. He is worthy.
I FEEL that now. I get Him…in whatever ways He has allowed me to understand His heart now.
Fall
His purity demands respect…even though many refuse to give it to Him.
He told me a few years ago, you will fall in love with fall…because you will fall in love in the fall.
Since He said that…I have asked Him what that means exactly. I am still pondering it.
Last fall was without a doubt the most beautiful fall I have ever experienced in my life. Fall in Michigan was a spectacular show. I did fall in love with fall last year. Hands down…that is the truth.
I think though…there is a spiritual fall that is to be a spectacular show from a spiritual perspective. I am going to see the enemy fall. I believe truth is coming. My covenant of truth is going to take place and my work with the Bride will begin. I have been waiting for the enemy’s fall so I can start.
I think one of His meanings to falling in love in the fall is…He will finally rank me. Mankind will fall in love with the truth. There will be a divine reversal of people hating me, Him, His truth…and they will fall in love with me, Him, His truth.
Through our covenant…He will give me the power and authority…the backing I have been asking for…for so many years now. My time will have come.
He has sung to me Guns and Roses song many times over the years…November Rain…which also means November Reign to me.
The first of three screenshots of a text convo between Vanessa and I.
My girls will often send me songs without any words with it. It is expected I know what they mean by it. 😂
I generally know when they send me a song…it is Father speaking through them. He is sharing with them to make them part of our conversation.
In this text…she included words with the songs. 💙
November
I am still asking what the November Rain/Reign means exactly. Always waiting for answers to my many questions.
The above text messages are a conversation Vanessa and I had sometime recently. Can’t remember when. Maybe last week.
She sent me the songs because Father was speaking.
I made a playlist and have been listening to what He is saying to me through the songs. I felt led to include them as puzzle pieces here.
Tidbits
Let me share brief tidbits about them.
Katniss Everdeen…The Hunger Games. I remember so clearly reading those books. Mitchell got me hooked on them while we were living out of a hotel room for several months in Piscataway, New Jersey. 😍
When watching the movies, Father told me I was a picture of Katniss. A female leader for the people to bring them freedom. To lead them out of enslavement. Much like Moses…another picture.
I am also like Snow White in Snow White and the Huntsman. During the scene where White Hart bows before Snow White and blesses her, Father told me…you are her. You are the chosen one. I created you to bring healing to the people, to the land, and the animals.
When I listen to Jennifer singing The Hanging Tree…I get chill bumps when the people join in. So COOL.
I ask you to follow me. Follow my lead. Be crucified for Christ to become one with Him. To be unified in truth with Him as your head.
Join me on my quest to set the captives free. Free from the lies and deception the enemy constantly pukes out of his mouth.
Embrace truth. Embrace love. The truth spoken in love is worth embracing.
Embrace obedience to Christ by following His lead. Lay down your life for Him…to spend immortality in Heaven instead of Hell.
Movies
Father speaks to me using everything…but movies are a neat way He speaks to me. One of those movies is The Old Guard…another Charlize Theron movie. The song Immortals that Vanessa sent me…reminded me of that movie. Still working through some of the things Father is saying there.
The Greatest Showman is important. I have been listening to those songs for several years now.
I do want to rewrite the stars. Really, I want to rewrite a lot of things. My desire is to build an empire. His. Ours. He is my Emperor…and I want to own His Kingdom as His Empress. That means a lot of toxicity needs cleaned up on my watch. I like purity, health, cleanliness, and organized peace. A lot of stuff has to go in the future for me to be happy with this place. Lots of work ahead.
I want to take His people to the other side. To reverse the damages in this world…to bring health. To bring positivity…instead of the negativity we have been drowning in. This world needs changes…many changes. Radical changes.
To get the Bride to Her Promised Land…a lot of training needs to happen first.
Children need to be birthed…and then raised up. Warriors need training before they can go to war and fight the giants in the land.
One…I snapped the photo while Hannah had a piece of watermelon in her mouth. Natural and raw. Not fake with a smile. Real.
She is admiring our lovely burgers with lettuce buns. We loved them!!!
Also…check out the metering work on the building behind her…both sides. That my friends…is beautiful. Artistic and organized. Makes my heart skip a beat and pitter-patter. That is some smarticles at work right there.
Next time I am back in the area, I may have to take a picture of them all by themselves. Bobbi was telling me Mitchell was super impressed with the work too. ❤️
Housing
After Hannah and I finished the clean-up from our garage sale Sunday afternoon, we headed to Bru Burger for some nourishment.
I asked Hannah…do you have any sense of what Father wants you to do about housing?
Her response…I was hoping He told you. 😂
Earlier this year, Father was showing Hannah she was supposed to buy a house with a woman. Also, she was to help start a birthing center and a high-end school. A school for the more elite types.
She thought that meant literally.
When she told me this during the summer, I told her…that is me.
Training Center
Many years ago, my spiritual brother Jeff was telling me about a prophecy that had been spoken over Evansville for many years by different people.
It was about an apostolic training center that would open up in the city.
When he told me about it, I didn’t think much of it.
As time went by, Jeff said to me…sis…I don’t think you understand just how important you are to this training center. I was speechless for a minute.
Then I responded…I haven’t a clue. Father has never told me anything about the training center or my role in it.
Questions
Let me tell you…when I got home…I had questions for Father about that. 🤨
I asked Him…what is this Jeff is telling me. Am I a part of this center they keep talking about? If so, what am I going to do?
He said to me…you are the center. You are the apostolic training center.
WHOA!!! What???? 😳
I later came to understand some things that I will relate here. My website…is a house. It is also a school. A birthing center. It is a lot of things actually.
Hannah and I both know; she is going to work for me…work with me.
On this site, I will give birth to spiritual babies. As mother, I will educate them in my home education training. They will be homeschooled here…raised up…trained up.
It is a place for truth to reign and educate the masses.
The other day, I saw the curriculum. It was beautiful.
I said to Father…don’t tease me like that.
It was much like a family tree. Reminded me of that. Super cool.
This is why I have included the photos of my grandkids. It is my family tree in picture format. It represents much spiritually…generationally.
Our Future
At dinner, Hannah and I discussed our future.
We are seeking Father on moving in together. We want a literal house in addition to the one here on my site. Also, we believe we are to travel…in addition to the site traveling.
We are seeking Him about a house and a location. NOT really wanting to stay in the Evansville area. I know the big to-do was supposed to start in Evansville…it has, and it will. BUT…I am not wanting to stay here. We are hoping to move to Tennessee if He doesn’t allow us the van life to travel.
Bobbi and Mitchell are possibly moving to Tennessee this fall. We are waiting on word about that. Donovan is considering a big move as well. Vanessa and I are trying to hold back our excitement. We know Father is getting ready to break open our family’s dreams.
I believe Hannah, Esme, and I are going to move in together as a family. We are asking is it a house right now? Evansville, Tennessee, or somewhere else? Is it a van first to travel?
Waiting for our answers. Excited about our future. Thrilled to have Hannah on board as well. I have lots of work for her to help me with.
Last Piece
One last piece of the puzzle I want to share before I end this post.
On Sunday, I said something to Hannah in passing. She laughed and said…Father make me like her.
She is amazed by me. I must say…I am an amazing woman. Just like Father knows who He is…so do I. You won’t find anyone more valuable than Father and I. Not possible.
I kind of laughed off Hannah’s statement to Father. One of the things I am working on…trying to see myself in a different light. His light. His truth about the woman I am. 🤷♀️
Not long after this, in our conversation…I said something else which caused Hannah to repeat her request to Father. More determined and desperate this time. Once again…this time Hannah said…please…make me like her.
This time…Father pinned it. It was seared into my mind.
This Morning
Early this morning, Father had me read this screenshot I took a while back of a word He had given Kim Clement about me…the “Esther” woman.
The last time I read them, He said…like mother…like daughter.
When I read the words this morning, He gave me an understanding of that. I would raise up spiritual daughters…to be like their spiritual mother…me.
Multiplication
Adam and Eve were called to be fruitful and multiply…just like the animals. Everything is supposed to be fruitful and multiply after its own kind.
He reiterates this in the New Covenant. A spiritual woman is supposed to give birth to babies from her spiritual womb. She is supposed to be fruitful and multiply. This is the Great Commission. Go and make disciples…be fruitful and multiply after your own kind. Spread Christ’s seed…spread His love. Spread the Truth. Plant it. Fertilize it. Grow it. Harvest the fruit of His Spirit. His children are supposed to grow up, mature, and give birth to more of His children. People who love Him, obey Him, and lead others to love and obey Him.
Very simple math here.
That is my plan here on this site. To be a birthing center. To give birth to babies, grow them up into maturity, so they can give birth to my grandbabies. See?
How fun is that? Super fun! 😍 😜
I want to have LOTS of babies and grandbabies…and great-grandbabies. Etc.
Closing
One last bit of trivia before I end.
I have prayed a certain prayer for MANY years…almost 30 to be more specific. It is regarding my children. How I have always ended that prayer was this way…I ask that for ALL my seed…(including grandchildren, great-grandchildren, great-great-grandchildren)…until I no longer have seed on this planet…or until Christ returns.
That is thinking generationally…into eternity. It is my mindset. That is the love I have in my heart for my offspring…that my dears…includes the ones born out of my spiritual womb…not just my physical one. 💙