I titled this Tonto’s Return because he left me…but then came back.
Somewhere on this blog, I did a post about how Father made me get a dog. I did not want a dog.
I love animals…I just don’t want to own one.
When He told me to purchase Tonto, He shared with me several reasons why I had to own a dog. One of those reasons was regarding making a covenant with the land and the animals. I had to rule and reign over an animal.
Sigh…many tears…ok. I obeyed…very reluctantly. Very reluctantly. 😫
Moving
Last year, Father moved me again. I moved to Illinois for a season of time. It is part of The Wilderness journey for me. Lots of moving. This time, Father wanted me to rehome Tonto.
I was thrilled and sad at the same time. After having him, I fell in love with the dog. Giving him away was painful for me. Walking away from him in his new home was awful. I cried buckets of tears over the whole thing…which made me even angrier at Father.
I didn’t want the dog to begin with but I obeyed in getting him. Then I fall in love with him along with the rest of the family, then He tells me to give him away. Super thankful for being released from the responsibility of him…but now I miss him.
Why would Father do that to me…to Tonto…to the whole family?
Vanessa and I were both torn up about the loss of Tonto.
Timing
Sometime in late July or maybe early August, can’t really remember, Mitchell had said to Bobbi…I think we should get a dog. A German Shepherd.
Emphatically, Bobbi said no. Absolutely not.
Then Hannah says some things about Tonto. Bobbi sends me some old Snaps of Tonto.
The kicker was I had a vision of Tonto and I reuniting. He was THRILLED to see me.
This all happened within 24-48 hours in time. My head was spinning. I thought Father was saying Tonto would come back into my life again, but I was in absolute disbelief that could even happen. The new owner seemed very happy with him. We had kept in touch off and on over the last year.
While at the gym, I get a text message from the new owner. She was just checking on me.
SUPER STRANGE! SUPER ODD! 🤔
Instantly, I knew…she was going to ask me to take Tonto back. This was Father.
To test my theory, I responded with a general text of I am doing well. Then I asked how Tonto was doing along with the fam.
I get a LONG text message spelling out their woes and asking if I would take him back.
Bobbi
I called Bobbi immediately because I knew she and Mitchell were not going to want a dog in the house again. We all love Tonto…but we also hate the constant shedding. Also, we now have a new baby in the house.
We both knew we had to obey Father. So thankful my family supports my obedience even when they aren’t happy with it either. 😍 This is why they are still in my life; they sacrifice for Father and I.
Since Mitchell was on the train, we couldn’t consult him. When the train is moving, he is not allowed to use any digital devices, so we get no contact until his job is done.
I went to get Tonto and bring him back home.
Thrilled
Just like in the vision, he was thrilled to see me. It was like he had been waiting for me to come pick him up and take him home. He saw the truck parked on the street and ran right to it. I opened the door, and he jumped in ready to go for a ride.
It is like nothing changed. We are back into our old routine. When I brought him back home, he ran straight to the door. This was his home and he had not forgotten.
We are back to our daily walks and play dates with the neighbor’s dog, Ozzy. They are besties. I have to say…it is adorable to watch those two dogs. They can hardly wait to see each other every day. Rosa and I are thrilled they can expend some of their energy wrestling with each other instead of us. We are too old to wrestle with big dogs.
Tonto gets 3-4 daily walks from me, and we play ball together.
Mitchell plays tug of war with him when he is home.
Personally, I think he is a spoiled dog. He is well-loved and well-supplied with toys to play with.
Questions
I have more questions now though.
When Tonto and I were traveling West a few years ago, Father gave me a vision. It was of Tonto and I. I was actually at Mount Rainier when I saw the vision. Tonto and I were sitting on the ground together facing Mount Rainier. I had put my left arm around him, and we were happy and peaceful together.
I felt like Father was saying to me…although you don’t want a dog, I will bring you to a healthy and peaceful place with Tonto.
Ok…that is nice. I thought I had gotten there when He then decided I was supposed to rehome him.
Now, he is back, and my life is getting ready to change I believe.
Super unsure of what those changes look like.
The whole family is ready to pull up stakes and move. The men are ready to quit their jobs and start life over. Father is obviously preparing the family for major changes. We are all ready to go…just waiting on the provisions.
Van Life
When I was living in Colorado Springs, I was sure Father promised me a van. I was sure He was telling me that He was going to buy me a van and have me travel North America. Once I was done there, I would travel worldwide as well.
It was part of a promise He gave me MANY years ago. He would show me the world both in the natural realm and the supernatural realm. I would see the world from both places. The veil would be removed, and I would be allowed access to both…I would see it all.
With how He works, I am always uncertain if He is saying it will be like…or it will be. So…the van life and traveling…is that in a physical van or is the blog the van and the site will travel so it will be like I am traveling in a van. See??? He uses imagery, puzzles, riddles, analogies, metaphors, symbols, pictures, etc.
I am still questioning the van life thing. Real or imaginary?
The picture is a bit blurry I know. Esme was dancing back and forth. It is a capture from a Snap Bobbi sent the group. Despite the blur, I am using the picture for what it represents to me. 💙
My Desires
My desire is for it to be real. In fact, I want to have a van and travel with my kids. I want all of us to have our own vehicles and travel together as I have mentioned in other posts. I want Hannah and Esme to ride with me while the other kids have their own vehicles. Not just blogs that travel, but actually physically traveling together and seeing the world.
We need two major changes to take place in order for this to happen.
One…we need financial provision. That kind of money…only Father can provide for us.
Two…we need freedom for Esme to leave.
I have petitioned Father to release our family to go and to provide the funding for it. If that is what His plan is…He will make it happen. If not, He will not.
I am trying to stay neutral about the whole thing. BUT…then He gets my sons on board with the idea of pulling up stakes.
It makes Momma’s heart go pitter-patter. I refuse to get excited at this time, but it is definite that something is getting ready to happen.
Dog in a Van
Here is one of the problems now that Tonto has reentered our lives. I have zero desire to live with him in a van. He sheds a rug on a daily basis. I can’t do that in a van. I would be inhaling dog hair with every breath. Completely opposed to the notion.
Also, part of the idea of traveling in the van was to visit the National Parks. I can’t hike with a dog in the National Parks. Not allowed.
No point in going to the Parks if I can’t hike them. 🤷♀️
I haven’t a clue what He is doing here and why Tonto is back.
Obedience
I have known for a while now I was going to do this post. Kind of dreading being that real about my feelings regarding owning a dog. It sounds bad.
But…here is the thing. Following Father makes you die to your flesh. The flesh of man will always oppose His Spirit. My flesh does not want to own a dog…even though I love my dog. I don’t want to be tied down to anyone or anything. If I want to pack my bags and be gone for the weekend, I don’t want to have to worry about finding care for an animal. I don’t want that responsibility. Crystal Ann is a free spirit.
Obedience will always cost you. It will cost your flesh more than your flesh wants to pay. Our flesh is selfish. That is a fact.
However, Crystal Ann has been trained to be an obedient service dog. He says sit…and I sit. That is a fact. Sometimes I am sitting on the outside and standing on the inside until I can get that flesh to lay itself down in obedience to Him. 🤨 It is a hard work sometimes.
Waiting
I am waiting to see what Father is up to here with the family and with Tonto’s return.
My work is done…so I am just waiting for the show to start. Going to have a front-row seat…that is the ticket I paid for. Box seats. VIP for me.
I have been trying to decide what is most exciting for my future out of all the promises so far. At this time, justice is looking the sweetest to me. The honor will feel very pleasurable, I think.
We shall see. Waiting…patiently too. 😍