Pondering

I have many things I am pondering. Felt led to do a blog post and share maybe a few bits and pieces of my ponderings.

Here is a bit of one…it pertains to my YouTube studies of the Christian Religious System…aka…C.R.S.

I mentioned in a previous post that I believe those studies are coming to an end. That feels true to me. I have lost all desire to check anything out on YT. I am mainly doing some cleanup work from past videos I have studied. Makes me happy…so very happy. I love new beginnings, but I think I love endings just as much. I am not a fan of being obsessed over anything…except Father. He is my one exception to the rule. 😜

Getting Closer

I have decided I must be getting close to being ready to teach the masses. The reason I say that is this…after interacting with some of these C.R.S. videos, I am itching to speak the truth. It isn’t like me to read comments and want to comment in response. Typically, I read and move on.

When reading a comment from a woman claiming she IS the remnant, and she is a warrior for Christ…I had to say something. I wanted to fight. Wanted to battle for the truth. I have grown weary of sitting back and watching Christians be identity thieves. The remnant is a group of Israelite people from His tribe/nation who have yet to acknowledge and accept Christ as their Messiah. Christians are grafted into that nation. The remnant is not a term that applies to a Christian.

I feel like Hannah and Vanessa…we have a pattern in our history. If I say something about someone who has been negative against me…they say the same thing…I will fight them. The statement and the way they say it…sends me in stitches of laughter every time.

I am feeling it…I want to fight them. I want to fight them all.

Sword of the Spirit

I have this insane desire to take out my sword…His sword…the sword of the Spirit…and slash them all. To silence the arrogant. To bring clarity to the masses.

I am super tired of the lies and deception in this world in general, but especially that the C.R.S. pukes out.

Can you tell I am tired of the propaganda? I would hate to be unclear about that.

Toxic Masculinity

Here is another bit of my ponderings for ya. I am tired of toxic masculinity.

I have said for years…I missed a great opportunity to be a feminist. That is the absolute truth. Anyone in my inner circle agrees with this statement.

I am not a fan of feminism…because it is just as toxic as toxic masculinity.

Here is the truth…I have a heart for men. I have always had a heart for men. My heart for men is this…I want them to grow and mature. To be healthy in all three bodies.

Before I left Indiana for Michigan, Mr. Mitchell Man and I had an all-day discussion about his manhood. Donovan and I have had a similar experience. I will fight my sons…for my sons.

Mitchell

Last November, I told Mr. Mitchell Man…you are selfish, lazy, and a coward. He is a hard worker physically…but working his soul and spirit…lazy. Mitchell was not doing the inner healing work he needed to do in order to grow as a man. He was choosing to stay where he was from an emotional and spiritual standpoint.

One thing I have said to women I counseled for MANY years is this…if you are growing emotionally and spiritually…but your husband is not…then you will grow apart. The chasm between the two of you will continue to widen. It will get deeper, wider, and longer the more YOU grow and they do NOT.

I tell women this right up front when I am counseling them because I want them to understand…if I walk you into deeper intimacy with Christ while your husband does NOT choose to go with you…you will eventually lose any respect for your husband if you currently have any left.

Father designed the husband and wife to be equally yoked in all three bodies…in every way. They are to be ONE. Not two separate people…each doing their own thing. This is why it is important for Father to choose your spouse…not YOU. You will choose foolishly and be miserable.

Fighting for Men

Fortunately for me, I have Bobbi and Vanessa on my team. They have also fought for their husband’s masculinity. Our family works as a team. Mitchell and Donovan both began to do the inner healing work necessary for them to grow. Mitchell is now playing catch-up with Bobbi. Donovan has been spending the last couple of years catching up with Vanessa.

I had to teach Vanessa to fight for her husband. When Bobbi asked me how Donovan got there…I told her…Vanessa. Vanessa fought her husband…for her husband…to push him to grow and mature as we women have chosen to grow and mature. A woman pursuing emotional and spiritual growth who is also a mother…does NOT want to have sex with her immature childish man husband. That is just a fact. Women were created and designed to NOT have sex with little boys.

During the last inner healing session with Mitchell, we did inner healing on the fact he didn’t want to do inner healing. He discovered he had not understood the value of emotional and spiritual growth until Bobbi helped him to understand how important it was to her. He loved her…so his conclusion became…if it is important to Bobbi…it is then important to Mitchell.

I was proud of my son for finally getting on the emotional and spiritual growth train with the rest of the fam. About time.

To stay stagnant in your soul and spirit…is toxic. I don’t want toxic children…especially not the men in my family.

One of Two Conclusions

The first conclusion in my ponderings is this…I want to see men rise up and be statesmen again. For years, I have been fighting men…to become honorable men. When I was homeschooling my children years ago, while studying history, government, the Constitution, the beginnings of America, etc, I wished the men of today were like the men we had back at the beginning of the formation of our nation.

Today…we mostly have politicians. Liars, thieves, selfish people who don’t care about the souls of the people or the soul of our nation. Instead of laying down their lives in servitude, it is about money and greed, power and control. It is all about what they can get from the people instead of what they can give to the people. Horrifying.

I am going to clarify one thing here. Donald Trump is NOT a politician. He is a businessman who was given a heart by Father to change a nation. Does he have issues? Yes…we all do…but he is not a politician. He is a businessman vying for a governmental position. That is different than the politicians I see out there. The motives are different.

I remember my latest trip to Washington DC back in the spring, Father and I discussed our founding fathers again. My heart is to bring men back into the state of being honorable statesmen again. I want our nation to be run by statesmen…honorable men…not liars and thieves. I have a heart to bring health to our men…in all three bodies. To reestablish and restore the roles of our genders…especially in leadership roles.

Restoration

I want to bring restoration to the people. To women in their womanhood. Men in their manhood. Married couples in their marriages. Protection for our children through healthy functioning families. To restore to the hearts of the people the concept of statesmanship and servant leadership. Servitude for others over self. Listen…I am a pro. I am a well-trained dog. When Father says sit, I sit. For over 30 years, I have served Father and others over myself. I think it might be a good time to do a little self-service. Just saying. Surely after 30-plus years, I can lavish myself with a bit??? 🤨

Wouldn’t it be nice to see America be restored to the Constitution and the principles upon which it was founded? A long-time dream come true for Crystal Ann Laura. One I have been pondering for about 20 years. A dream of a greater nation following principles to build instead of destroying the people who live within. 🤔

Second conclusion

The second conclusion is this…I want to see women restored to their proper place in their own womanhood. For women to see the value of being a mom.

Father created marriage with and for many purposes. Same with the two genders. Men have roles. Women have roles. All of this has been destroyed by humanity and the lies/deception man believes.

While studying the C.R.S., I noticed there were a ton of women prophesying about women rising up and becoming warriors. Strong leaders. I noticed this also with the Esther Me Too movement. All these women claim they are Esther too. All queens. It has the same feel to me as the feminist movement.

I studied for MONTHS…perusing hundreds if not thousands of videos with people prophesying and I didn’t see one video about men becoming honorable leaders.

That really irritated me. Really irritated me. It was all about women becoming strong and powerful…but never about men becoming healthy, humble, wise, honorable, etc. I didn’t like this…at all.

I want men to grow up and become healthy men…honorable men.

Personally, I want healthy men to stand up and lead women rightly. For men to protect and provide for women…instead of exploiting and destroying women. Men are supposed to treat women with honor and worth instead of dishonor, free, cheap, and easy. Even if a woman is selling herself…an honorable man teaches her she is worth more than by dying to his own flesh for her. Instead of validating to her that she is less than.

Love

Here is ANOTHER piece of pondering. I am completely clueless as to how in the world He is going to get the people to love ME.

Let’s go back up to the fact that I have had to fight for my sons’ manhood at times. Actually…I have fought for all my children. That means fighting my children for their own souls. I am a fighter for some reason.

Add to this concept I speak the truth. Unfortunately, at times, the truth is harsh. Painful to hear…even when it is spoken in love.

Remember I said I told my son he was selfish, lazy, and a coward from an emotional and spiritual standpoint? People don’t like to hear you tell them these kinds of truths. My children are used to mom speaking truth so bluntly, but the rest of the world…NOT.

I have been trying to wrap my mind around how people are going to come to a place of love for me. People like me when they first meet me. They see I am welcoming, open, transparent, fun, funny, friendly, all positive things. However, when they start to get a little closer, they start to experience the truth. I speak the truth in love. It is a GREAT filter for me. Those who don’t like the truth and don’t want to hear it…walk away from me.

I like having the truth as a filter. It keeps my life in a healthy place. Not a fan of having toxic people in my life. They bring death. For me, I prefer people who enjoy growing daily…spiritually and emotionally. If we are all growing, we are flowing well together.

Puzzle

I am puzzled at how He is going to get the masses on board here with me. How is He going to get a massive group of people on this planet to love me? To me…that is going to be an absolute miracle for I have never had much luck in the love department. 😂 In the hate department, I do really well. People tend to reject me and hate me in a short period and in the masses.

Something I am pondering. It is a great mystery…a puzzle and I can’t see any pieces. Normally, I can see. Feeling blind as a bat right now.

How are people going to suddenly love someone who has been hated pretty violently for a lifetime???

It will be interesting to see how this plays out I suppose.

River of Life

Lots of changes happening inside of me. The River of Life is flowing within. Ready to spill it out. Every day I find myself in a new place. Crazy cool! Boring would never describe my life. 😂 Ready to ROAR!

Been pondering NYC the last few days. I am feeling the need to head that way. Not sure what that is about. It has something to do with The Lion King again. Feeling like I need to see it again. This time, a shopping trip feels right. Wondering if He is going to finally lavish a little love on me. Don’t know but I would love to go back to NYC again. Maybe it is seeing The Lion King play out in real life? Don’t know. Pondering and asking.

I told Vanessa the other day, I just got here but it feels like it is time to go again. Not sure where I need to go, but I need to go. Wondering where???? He is moving me along at a rapid pace. Ready for the changes even though I am not sure what they are. The River of Life is picking up in speed. I can feel it. We are flowing along at a nice clip.

There are a few of the things I have been pondering lately.

Have a MARVY day!!