man on ducati at salt flats

For the last several days, I have been chewing on doing a post on the fear not teaching in Christianity. Many teachings within the religion of Christianity have irritated my spirit over the years. This morning, I finally came to a place in my heart and mind about how I wanted to approach this topic. It ties in with a video I did on YouTube a couple of months ago.

Bondage

One of the reasons Father hates Christianity is because it is bondage. All religion is bondage. However, Christianity is especially offensive because this is a religion that claims to have the answers in Christ. Not only are the members in bondage…they add additional yokes to the people they are claiming to set free.

There is no freedom within religion. Any religion. But to claim freedom in Christ while enslaving self and others you profess to love…offensive. Delusion.

Series

This morning Father said…you are good to go now.

l also saw a vision. I was driving down the road and in my rearview mirror was a vehicle “pushing me.” It is a term Father and I often use when a vehicle comes up behind me riding my bumper. It is like they are pushing me to go faster. That irritating feeling when the person in front of you is going too slow in your opinion, so your solution is to try and hurry them along. 🤨

I felt like Father was saying we might start speeding up here a bit. Holy Spirit pushing me…to speed up.

Interesting too…because when He picked these photos for this post…I felt like it wasn’t merely about fear…but about speed as well.

Like I have said on repeat…He packs a lot in every little thing. Every word. Number. Sentence. Picture. Topic. Etc.

Words can have multiple definitions. It is true of everything in His Kingdom…every little thing has multiple meanings, purposes, and functions…in both realms. Crazy complicated. Makes my brain hurt most of the time.

I THINK He might be saying I can finish the series I started on YouTube a couple of months ago regarding His disdain for the religion of Christianity. I hope so. Crystal Ann has been patiently waiting behind the scenes to get going on it. 😍

man on ducati at salt flats
Look ma…no hands! 😜

Speed

Let me share one piece of the puzzle here in this post. The speed aspect. It is a side note but still important.

I took these photos years ago while ex #2 was racing the Ducati at Bonneville Salt Flats. I am pleased with how they turned out since I am an amateur photographer.

The goal was to reach 200mph on the Ducati 999R. Close…but no cigar. A few years later, he did reach over 200 while riding for another team on a Hayabusa. The speed goal was achieved…just not on the bike envisioned. No complaints though. 😜

Pace

I am a huge fan of speed myself. Totally on board if Father is saying we are going to start picking up the pace here. I am all in…100%.

For years now, I have been wondering when. Also saying…let my people go.

Crystal Ann is past ready to go. Been waiting for launch time.

I have been waiting for this concept of breaking the sound barrier…both in the natural realm and the supernatural realm. I want to go FAST! The speed of light. It all pertains to Christ who is the light. Also reminds me of breaking the sound of silence…Simon and Garfunkel singing the truth. Remaining silent…instead of speaking the truth…is death to all. Such a profound song with many prophetic truths contained within.

While the people remain trapped in the darkness and the silence…toxicity and disease only grow.

The people need to hear and see the Truth to be set free from the enslavement they are currently in and under.

Stupidity

Ex #2 had many sayings he would use on repeat over the years. As a Master Carpenter for the Union, he worked with a lot of crews building and remodeling many projects. He was a laborer who worked hard all his life. Working with men…he experienced life the hard way at times.

One saying he often said was…if you are going to be stupid, then you better be tough.

I always liked that saying. Even better, I like to say…if you are going to make foolish choices…you are going to pay the price. It will cost you…more than you want to pay. You get to choose life or choose death. Credit or debit.

man on ducati at salt flats
Although there is room for improvement in my shots, I was pleased with the shots I did get while on the Flats.

Pause

I had to hit the pause button for a few days on this post. February 28th is when I started writing the above. Today is the 4th of March and I have begun again. It is pertinent to this post, so I am going to include some behind-the-scenes details regarding this post.

On the 28th, I finished the above portion of the post…and then came to a screeching halt. The flow stopped for me. No more words. Per my S.O.P…I got out of my chair and headed to the floor. I got on my knees and put my nose on the carpet. Think fetal position only facing downward not on my side.

I started the convo as I always do. Father help me. Holy Spirit…take me by the hand and lead me to the truth. Jesus…tell me the truth. I am asking…what happened? The words are flying around in my head, yet they won’t land. I see them all. The pieces are there, I just can’t pull them down to write them.

They remained silent.

Ok…I try the next thing I always do if that happens.

I say…Holy Spirit…is there something I need to say and/or do to complete this?

Immediately…I knew…the conversation wasn’t finished. I needed something more.

Ok…so I shut the blog post down and waited on what He wanted me to see/know.

Fast Forward

While on my little break, I was constantly asking questions about the fear not teaching in Christianity. My default setting is to always take the low road and check my own heart first. I am asking Father…show me where MY issues are. Show me if something inside of ME is impure. That has ALWAYS been step one for me. After 30-plus years of cleaning up the toxicity within…I am good to go now. The things I was feeling…were not a result of impurity within me. That is important to me. Him as well. The feelings were His…not my flesh.

Over the weekend, Father had me get back on YouTube and check out a few Christian videos. Goodness…not happy about that. Didn’t want to get back into that shit show. BUT…I obeyed. THIS TIME…instead of using one of my two daily channels, I used a channel I rarely frequent. This way my favorite channel newsfeed doesn’t get clogged up and bogged down by the religious garbage. I am learning. 😜

Thankfully, He only had a bit of video stuff for me to look at. A little. Not consuming me 100% of the time like before. What was also wonderful…seeing the false prophets didn’t bother me like they used to. Growth!!! Super happy about that.

The truth is maturing in me. I feel it.

However, there is one video that popped up. It was the one He wanted me to see. It was a recently uploaded video. Crazy how He works.

A Million Esthers

The video Father wanted me to see was a video put out by Lou Engle. It is an “Esther movement” Lou Engle and Jenny Donnelly believe Father wanted them to start.

WOW!!!!! I watched the short video on the movement and then found a second video of the two of them being interviewed about their movement. That was all I needed. All I could stand really. I was so mad: I could barely see straight.

Here is the short version of it. They are part of the NAR portion of Christianity. Lou arrogantly believes he was appointed by Father to be a “Mordecai.” A leader to raise up a million Esthers and Mordecais.

They want to get a million “Esthers” to the D.C. Mall in October so they all can travail, weep, and pray.

Also…Jenny has started a movement called “Her voice” because she believes women need to use their voices. They need to attend meetings and stand for truth. Speak up. Stand up.

Court

I have some things to say about the above two movements. Before I speak the truth about these…I am going to share my experience with Father regarding the situation.

To start with…I knew Lou was full of himself. I KNEW he was off. He had a dream and elevated himself according to his own fleshly arrogance and ignorance. I dismissed him and his garbage immediately. He doesn’t speak for Father. His arrogance knows no bounds. That was immediately clear to me.

I moved to Jenny. I began asking Father…did you tell her to gather “Esthers” and start this “Her Voice” movement?

He remained silent. All day long and into the evening, He and I worked through this situation. While in bed that evening, I said to Him…I can’t go to sleep angry. You must take this anger from me. I don’t understand why I am livid at these people and what they are doing.

By now, I understand parts of it…but not all. I don’t have enough understanding to make the anger disappear yet.

As always…I say…Father…help me. Holy Spirit…take my hand and lead me to the truth. Jesus tell me the truth. What do I need to do and/or say to make the anger go away?

This time He responds…instantly…take them to court.

Oh wow…what a gift. They are impure and in disobedience…I can plead my case against them and win.

I did. I took Jenny, Lou, and the entire Esther movement to the courts of Heaven. Every single woman who has elevated herself to being “Esther.” Every single human who has elevated another person to the position of “Esther.” After I pleaded my case against them…the anger was gone. I knew He was saying… judgment is coming against them for what they are doing.

woman on ducati
This is my silly modeling pose. 😂 The Salt Flats are beautiful in a weird sort of way. Spectacular to see.

Man’s Interpretation

After I took the people to court, Father began sharing more of His heart on this Esther situation in the apostolic division of the Christian religious system.

One thing He said to me was this about Jenny, Lou, and the entirety of the Esther humanist mess they have created. “It isn’t what they think it is.”

Boy…that is the truth.

Man takes a small portion of something Father says…and they BIGAMIZE it. They blow it up and make it grandiose. Man markets it…for fame and fortune.

Self-aggrandizement.

SO VERY GROSS! Nauseates me.

They take Truth…and pervert it for their own selfish gain and agendas. Man in his flesh will always find a way to benefit by using Father. That is what man does. They USE Him to serve their own agendas instead of bowing to His and serving Him.

Instead of elevating Him…they elevate man. This includes self and others. It is humanism.

Father’s Words

Here is a bit I feel led to include in this post. This morning, Father woke me up at midnight.

I said to Him…wow…great night’s sleep there. 😜

He had a lot of words to use. One thing He said was this…”It’s happening now.”

Wow…WHAT is happening? He didn’t say.

Great. Frustrates the tar out of me when He does that to me.

I always say the same things. Here is a portion of my sassy response. Grammar. Pronoun. Antecedent. You need to give me the noun the pronoun is referring to. I have no clue what you are saying is happening now. 🤷‍♀️🤨😳🤔🤬🤯🤦‍♀️🙄😆 Runs me through the gauntlet of emotions every single time.

Throughout the morning hours, I saw MANY visions. I can’t include them all here. It isn’t the point of this post. I will share a few because they are pertinent to this post.

One was of a house. On top of the house, it was partially colored in. It was like a coloring picture for kids with a house on it. Overlaid on top of that were puzzle pieces. The puzzle was being filled in. That is important.

On repeat, I often see myself at a grocery store. It is the King’s store. The produce is of the highest quality. The colors are super rich. I am always shopping. I alone have full access to the store. The store is for me.

After I gathered my groceries, I was in a van. I had filled the van full of food. It was my travel van…like a van life van. The coolers were full of food, the frig was full, and I had ingredients along with prepared food everywhere in the van.

Another one…I was at a baby shower. The baby shower was mine…being hosted for me. I was getting ready to give birth to twins. A boy and a girl.

Coming Together

What I THINK…suspect He is saying to me…when He said “It’s happening now”…is everything is starting to come together.

I keep telling Vanessa…I feel like I am on the edge of greatness. Don’t really know what that means but I feel it. It feels true to me.

Father has made me many promises. For example, He has promised me a home. A vehicle. Money. Income. A career. Promised to heal me 100%…body, soul, and spirit.

Those are a few of the promises He has given me. I have been waiting for those to be fulfilled.

In the past, I struggled greatly to understand how He was going to fulfill these things for me. My current status is a poor woman in debt and homeless.

I think it was in January sometime…it finally hit me…He is my Husband. Since that is true…He will provide me those things. That is the husband’s role. He is to provide for his wife.

It set me free from stressing over HOW He was going to make this happen for me because I KNOW He will. I am His and He will make it happen.

Another piece of the puzzle is how I have been feeling lately. My feelings have been purified so I can trust them now. I am feeling like I am moving. My heart is longing for my home…to have my home. To manage my home. To decorate it. To manage money. To be a steward again. That is Him.

I believe He is saying things are coming together now for me.

Staying Humble

Now…this is what I THINK He is saying…but I am not jumping on it. I am not blowing this up and puffing myself up with what He is saying to me.

This morning, He had me do some speed exercises. I am not even going to share what He had me do. I said to Vanessa…seems a bit childish don’t ya think? She smiled and said…yes. Father said to me…you are supposed to come to me like a little child.

Well there ya go…now I know. Can’t argue with that. I obeyed.

It fits with the pictures and the feelings I had back on the 28th…this is not merely about the fear not teaching, but about speed as well. I think there is a speeding up that is going to take place for me.

I hope so…but again…not going to blow anything out of proportion here. Crystal Ann is cautious. I wait to see what else He does before I do anything else. It is important to me…I am 100% convinced it is Him and I am hearing Him correctly before I move forward.

Flesh With Spirit

A quick puzzle piece of this story.

Man mixes their flesh with His Spirit…IF they are actually hearing from Father. Some people claim to hear from His Spirit but are full of poo. Merely liars lying to puff themselves up and make a profit. We see an enormous amount of Christian people on YouTube and throughout the world calling themselves prophets and apostles…claiming words from Father. A lot of the words they speak are merely lies. Liars lying to gain fame and fortune. Fortune tellers. Snake charmers. Charlatans.

Some are people who do hear from Father’s Spirit…but assume He means something He does not. That is what the flesh does. The flesh of man gets involved and perverts, distorts, and muddies the water. It isn’t pure. When they do this…generally they make it sound better than it is. They say what the itching ears want to hear. On occasion, you will see some false prophet speaking doom and gloom, but mostly they speak health and wealth. All who call themselves an apostle and/or prophet are liars. They haven’t done the work to be in that position. ESPECIALLY when they are distorting the truth. That is a no-no to Father.

Two Groups

I am going to interject this tiny piece too. This is making something very complicated…simple. The issue is multifaceted and not the purpose of this post…therefore, I am not going to include many pieces of this puzzle. One piece I will share. Let’s break it down into two groups within Christianity for simplicity’s sake.

One group of people within is humble, desperate, and hungry for the truth. They enter into the religion seeking answers. Hoping to get help for their issues. They know they are broken and need help.

The second group of people within is the arrogant ones who may or may not have started out searching for the truth, but along the way…believe they have the truth…so they are not searching for Him. These are the leaders who are enslaved…and enslaving the others. They are the blind leading the blind. These leaders appoint themselves and others into positions believing they have the power and authority to do so…at Father’s command. This behavior and mindset is absolutely unbelievable to me. Boggles my mind.

40 Year Wilderness

Another piece of this fear not story…the 40-year Wilderness Father told me I would lead the Bride of Christ through.

Since He first said that to me, I started immediately asking Him…what are they going to do…that will cause Her to go into the Wilderness?

If you look at the Wilderness in the Bible, there are two situations I see…Wilderness training. John the Baptist and Christ entered the Wilderness for a time as part of their training. They were not sent there out of punishment…it was for training…to fulfill their calling. I too, was sent into the Wilderness for training purposes. The very first thing I asked was…is this punishment? Did I do something wrong to send me here? The answer was no…it was for many purposes…but not punishment.

Now…when you look at the Israelites entering the 40-year Wilderness…that is a different ballgame. This was out of punishment. Complete disobedience. As a result of their arrogance…He sent them all there to die. All except Caleb and Joshua who truly trusted in Father.

Knowing this…I have suspected the Bride was going to do something that would cause Her to wander around for 40 years as punishment. I couldn’t put my finger on what it was though. They are all sick and twisted. All are a mess. None of them are righteous, so to me…what ELSE could they do to cause Him to put them through a 40-year journey in the Wilderness? Puzzled me.

Court Case

Back to taking these Esther people to court. Very pertinent to this post.

I kept saying to Father when I was angry…I am so angry…I want to kill them all. To me…it felt like they should all die. I will touch on why in a moment.

I saw two different situations. Elijah on Mount Carmel with all the false prophets…one of my favorite stories of all times. If you don’t know the story, you should google the verses and read it. Fantastic! Such a showdown. Father made quite a spectacle to all that Elijah was His prophet and He was real…where the other people were false prophets bowing to a false god. Glorious!!!

The second situation I saw was the Sons of Korah. The men had elevated themselves. They didn’t want Moses to be the chosen leader…they wanted to lead. Instead of submitting to Moses’ leadership which was instituted by Father…they arrogantly puffed themselves up to be greater than Moses…Father’s chosen.

Moses warned them…don’t do this…it won’t end well for you.

They did it anyway. He caused the Earth to open up and remove all those filthy arrogant men from Moses’ presence. Another great showdown to prove to the people who Father was and who His chosen leader was.

This Esther movement…everyone appointing and anointing themselves and others as Esthers over Father’s chosen one…not going to end well for them all.

When in court, I said to Father…I want their lives. Destroy them all. They have arrogantly set themselves up against us.

Afterward

When I stepped out of the courtroom, He answered me. He said to me…THIS is why they will all wander around in the Wilderness for 40 years. All who have arrogantly puffed themselves up against us and what we are doing…will die in the Wilderness.

We are going to start with a generation who have not defiled themselves to that degree. This is why I must give birth to the new nation.

I was fascinated by this. Also…comforted. It all made so much sense to me then as well. I have been saying for years…they are too defiled. Their arrogance has disqualified them to lead.

family vacation
Do you remember The Little Chocolatiers? Loved that show. While in Salt Lake City, we stopped in and purchased some chocolates from Steve and Katie. A fun excursion for the fam.

Elevation

When man elevates himself…the only place Father can take him…is down. He must be torn down…not lifted up.

When man lowers self…Father lifts him up.

Pride and arrogance will cost you more than you can afford to lose.

Many Christians are going to encounter many losses…including their lives. Some…their souls for they will rebel and refuse to lower self and apologize to Father and man. Too many won’t admit what they have done. Their egos won’t allow it. Too much humiliation for them to bear, so they will power through continuing with the deception.

Fear Not Teaching

The fear not teaching in Christianity is dangerous. So very dangerous. It leads the people astray. Here is why.

Father speaks of fear in His word.

When He tells His people to NOT fear…here are the conditions with that.

You have nothing to fear…IF you are following Christ and are walking in obedience as He did.

When you obey, you are NOT guilty. If you are NOT guilty…have not broken His law/command…then there is NO condemnation in Christ.

When you disobey, you ARE guilty…and buddy…you better be scared. You better be very scared…because you are a lawbreaker and now there IS condemnation in Christ. The truth will make you a convict in prison.

No one is righteous…so all are guilty.

If you are NOT apologizing daily for your acts/thoughts of disobedience…you are hoarding guilt. You have MANY debts…debits…you have taken FROM Christ. You owe Him. When He decides to call your debts to be paid up in full…you are screwed…man can’t pay them.

The only person who has nothing to fear…is the one who is without guilt.

Obey…you get life and blessings as your rewards from Him.

Disobey…you get death and curses from Him.

Your choice.

Truth

I want to speak the truth and teach it…so the people are cleaning out the hoards of disobedience.

Obedience to Christ will always keep your soul safe. Anything else…if you are going to be stupid…you better be tough. 🤷‍♀️

One thing to always remember. Man’s voice…matters not. The only voice that matters…is Christ’s. To think otherwise is foolish and will cost you. Don’t ever elevate self and think too highly of your bad self. The Truth…is what man needs…not your my truths.

I believe Father has shown me that He and I will open the seven seals. When I first saw that…it scared me. I had to dismiss it. Later, He brought it up again. This time, I went back to Revelation to reread those scriptures again. I felt nauseated this time. The fear was overwhelming to me. Horrified at what I was seeing.

Over the last seven years…and especially since the first of this year…then even more so with the Esther movement in the apostolic division of the C.R.S…I get it. I am finally 100% on board with Father. They all need to die. Man NEEDS to die. If they aren’t going to die TO their flesh…they can die in their flesh. Let’s bury them.

Now, I am totally good with opening the seals and bringing judgment and justice to this world.

I so get why He sent the flood over the Earth, why Sodom and Gomorrah, why the Sons of Korah, why He destroyed countless men, women, children, and livestock in the Bible. They deserved it. Every last one of them. They all had many opportunities to seek the truth from Him and they chose death. So…death they should reap.

Christ’s sacrifice was too valuable for man to spit in His face daily without any consequences.

He died…so shall you. You can bow and do it voluntarily for Him…or He will take your life for you.

Fear is a valuable emotion if you can see the power of your creator…causing you to bow in humble submission.

If you can’t submit…you will spend eternity immersed and enslaved in fear with no escape.

Your choice.

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