About

30 years ago…I was a user, an abuser, and a loser. After losing my first baby…within a short period, I became pregnant a second time. While at my first prenatal appointment, my doctor asked about my drinking. I was honest. What followed was a lecture that scared the HELL right out of me. Literally. During the drive home that day, I understood and saw clearly…several concepts. Surrender, humility, accountability, my own inabilities, consequences of death choices, and the need for direction from something outside of me. I knew that every decision I made on my own…my flesh…was a decision of death. For me…choosing LIFE out of my flesh…was impossible. I needed help. Freedom from death and all the toxicity along with it…became my number one priority in life.

I had grown up in the Christian religious system…a “Christian” home…although neither of my parents followed Christ. (Later…my dad did.) They did obey some of the rules, regulations, doctrines, and traditions of man inside of the religious system of Christianity. We were at church every time the doors were open. Very active in religion…yet our home life…the opposite.

As a child, this hypocrisy I experienced led me to conclude that “God” was not real…a joke…or evil. I wasn’t sure which one…but I knew I wanted no part of what I was being raised in. 

A Desire for Change

Coming home from the doctor’s office that day…I had a mind and heart change. It was like I shifted gears and course corrected.  I decided to enter a covenantal relationship with Father. 

What I mean is this…I wasn’t going to “play” church. I wasn’t going to play “life” like what I had seen and experienced inside the walls of religion…instead I was going to try having a relationship with someone. Him. Father…the one that created me. Be intimate…build something real and valuable.  In that moment of decision, my entire life changed…dramatically. When I entered my house that day, I threw my vodka and cigarettes in the trash. That week, I bought a Bible. I went back to church. (Side note…I am NO longer in the religious system…haven’t been to church in years. More on that later.) I began the purification process. Getting cleaned up. Sober. TRUE sobriety…not man’s “my truths” on sobriety…how man defines it. Sobriety BY the TRUTH…HIM who is TRUTH. 

Freedom

I got free of ALL the drugs I was using…and there were MANY! Drugs are more than just something you shoot up or snort. They are ANYTHING you USE to comfort yourself when you are in pain. Porn, food, exercise, social media, tv, hunting, hiking, work, sports, friends, etc. EVERYONE is a drug user. They are solutions man uses to AVOID dealing with their pain…their issues. To “cope”…to manage the pain. It is called “anger MANAGEMENT”…you are not getting set free and healed from your anger…you are trying to manage your anger instead. That isn’t freedom. That isn’t healing. That is a prison cell you live in. Bondage…chained to anger and chained to the drugs you use to avoid feeling it. Or avoid the depression…the anxiety…the fear…etc. That is MAN’s ways of “coping.” Father’s ways are FREEDOM. His truth sets you free from the pain…no more need to cope. It is glorious.

I have spent 30 years now…maturing in Him. Getting cleaned up. Being purified in His fire coupled with the fires of Hell. Excruciating experience. The flesh has been completely burnt off. Unbelievable…indescribable experience.

The Purification Process

This site…will reveal that process and all that I have learned along the way through my intimacy with Him. It was all born out of desperation. A desperate young woman who couldn’t make one healthy decision on her own. A woman desperate to have a healthy baby. To BUILD something GOOD and right for her children. A low-class woman desiring a transformation into a high-class woman of great value and worth. I wanted to love myself. To be able to look in the mirror and not hate the woman I was.

Today, I love me. I love the woman He has built in me. We have co-labored together to build a beautiful home in this vessel I call a body. He says to me often…you never labor in vain. Indeed…in these past 30 years, I have not. I went from a young woman of serious toxicity and great dysfunction…building a “life” and laboring in vain…to a mature high-class LADY of exceedingly great value and worth. He made the difference as I humbly bowed to His direction. Surrender. Humility. Powerful. Together…we built beauty out of the ashes…and I have come through the fire without smelling like smoke. Out of the ashes…the phoenix rises.