Break the Silence

A few days ago, I made a vow to Father. I said to Him…ok…I am going to go with the Flow. The flow of your Spirit. I am going to jump in the current…and let the current take me to wherever it is you want me to go.

Listen…that is a big deal for me. I posted previously…I have encountered trust issues with Him in the last few years. So…getting back to the OLD Crystal…and going with the flow again…super BIG DEAL. 🤨 It SCREAMS growth in our relationship. He is gaining back the trust I had in Him for over two decades. He destroyed it…He had to rebuild it.

As I have mentioned before, several years ago, He proposed to me. Since that time, I have broken the engagement off…a gazillion times. No one can make me madder than He can. He drives me to madness…and can do it…in a nanosecond.

I have been saying to Him…if you want me to marry you…then you are going to have to talk nicely to me. I need some lovin’. Lots of it. Sweet talking. Loving-kindness. Tenderness. Care. Concern for my heart. My emotions. Honor. Respect. Etc.

I need some foreplay here…good stuff. Not the rough stuff. Not into pain. I want pleasure.

Right now…it is just before noon. I have yet to go to bed. Father talked ALL night long. You think I am wordy…no one has more words to speak than He does. I have layers of reasons why I call Him…Chief Talks a Lot and Chief Big Talk. The names fit. 😆

Silence Brings Death

I remember the first time I heard David Draiman sing Disturbed’s version of Simon and Garfunkel’s song The Sound of Silence. ENTHRALLED…doesn’t even describe how I felt at that moment. The song took my breath away. Literally…I could not get enough of it. REPEAT! I sat there soaking up every bit of His truth I could from that song. The instruments. The minor chords. The voice…GOODNESS…that voice!!! Delicious to consume!

As I played the song on repeat that day, the lyrics took on a whole new meaning for me. Father and I spent several days discussing this song while I played it on repeat. The lyrics He gave Simon and Garfunkel are prophetic in nature…and speak to the times we are in, but also are for me.

I love the darkness in David’s version. If I remember right, he said he did this in one take in the studio the day he recorded it.

The arrangement…the tone…the chords…all…prophetically dark. Demonic. Singing death to the people.

It is true…silence can be a cancer…a disease…to your relationships. With self. With others.

To your emotional health. Mental health. Spiritual health. Physical health.

When you withhold the truth from yourself…it brings death TO YOU.

When you withhold the truth from the people you are in relationships with…it brings death to you both. It is building on the sand. It is foolishness. What you don’t know…CAN hurt you. What you won’t say…can bring death to you…to others. When you are building on lies and deception…the rug will be pulled out from under you and your kingdom…your house…will fall. Then…you have to start ALL over again. From scratch. Pain. Death. Disease. Destruction. The death cycle repeats all over again. We see this daily in people who go from one relationship to another. Never building life. Never building something that will last eternally…for themselves…for others.

The Truth

The truth…albeit painful at times…allows people to grow. To stretch and be stretched. Stretching your muscles…is a positive thing to do. The truth stretches you…in a good way…but stretching isn’t without a bit of pain. Good pain though. Tight hamstrings…influence your walk. Tight spiritual muscles…will affect your spiritual walk…in a negative way. All three bodies function parallel to one another.

Trust Issues

One reason I developed trust issues with Father…He threw me into the pit of Hell. ALL negative. No positive. Steeped in pain and all things negative which drained my love tanks…dry.

I got no lovin’ during that time. Every bit of love in me…was sucked right out of me. I was poured out…completely. 100%.

No infilling back.

It changed me. All positive going out…all negative coming in…left Crystal empty. All dark.

I didn’t feel like He had my best interest at heart any longer. In my mind, you don’t treat someone you love like that. So…I shut down. Shut my heart down.

In the last few months, He has been rebuilding our relationship. Bringing restoration. Reconciliation. It is beautiful. A beautiful process. No more pain. Pleasure only.

I have some really exciting changes taking place behind the scenes…couldn’t be more grateful for what He is doing. Dreams are starting to come in line. I see the light at the end of such a long dark tunnel. The end is near…and a new beginning.

It has brought relief. Healing. Hope. Joy.

I am getting back into positive land again.

Light

A few days ago, as I always do, I checked my YouTube feed. A daily thing for me. Father is always speaking to me through YouTube. A video appeared of a man named Tom Ball on AGT. He was a golden buzzer winner singing The Sound of Silence. Immediately, Father said…watch this one. Got something for you here.

Ok.

Wowser Bowser. Chills. Goosebumps.

This young man’s performance is off-the-charts spectacular. His breath control. Voice control. The strength of his voice. PIPES!!!! Crazy good. But when he jumps up an octave…I am out of my chair. GLORIOUS! You are not breathing if that doesn’t mesmerize you.

It reminds me of Lee DeWyze on American Idol many years ago…when he sang Leonard Cohen’s song Hallelujah. As soon as the backup singers started walking out on stage, I jumped up and started saying…Lee just won American Idol. I KNEW it. He did it. AND I was not rooting for him. I was Crystal Bowersox all the way. Singing that song…SOLD! It was his moment. No topping that.

I watched Tom sing that song several times the other day when Father first showed it to me. Then…about 3 am this morning, He brought it out again. More truth to speak through the song.

We were comparing David’s arrangement with Tom’s. Dark to light. Death to life. Lies and deception to truth. Silence…to speaking.

If you have ears to hear, you can hear Father speaking in both songs. The messages He is speaking…so radically different.

Break the Silence

It’s time. Time to break the silence. It is time for healing. It is time for the light to be revealed. Truth. Truth to be revealed.

Speaking the truth…in love.

It is time. Time for the light to shine through the darkness. To build on the rock instead of the sand. Time to stand. Stand on the truth. Speak it. Speak it in love.

It is His time. It is my time.

Time to dispel the darkness…cast away the cancer that has spread because of the silence.

I am not sure how many times I have listened to Tom sing this song today…a BUNCH.

At 3, Father was saying…it is time for the truth to be revealed. Time for your heart to be healed.

Recently I saw a vision. It was a landscape scene out my window. The ground was covered in snow yet there was this large, beautiful Bradford Pear tree in the middle of the scene…in full bloom. Grandiose. Delightful to see.

This morning, He said to me…your heart is in bloom.

Love Heals the Heart

The truth sets us free…and love heals the heart.

Throughout the night as Father was speaking to me…He was giving me understanding of the last few years. Lots of understanding. I see so much more clearly now…why I had to endure what I did. It makes sense to me. So much sense now. Man…that understanding has set me free.

Along with that…I see love now. I hear His love in His reasoning as to why. I get it…at least in part…to the degree He has allowed me to see, know, and understand at this point in my walk with Him. He did it for love. Out of love. Great love. He loves me.

When I listened to Tom this morning, He said to me…it is time for the truth in love to be revealed.

Then He began revealing the love.

I cried. It felt good.

He is speaking love to me now. It is changing my heart. What He is doing is working. Love heals.

Marriage

He asked me again early this morning after our love session…Will you marry me? Instantaneously…I said yes. Absolutely yes. No hesitation. No reservations.

I understand now, He has my best interest…in His heart. I AM His heart. A love so deep, I don’t know or understand…but I want to KNOW it…and I want to understand it. I want to experience it. He promises me…I will.

Giddy! So giddy.

When I sat down to write this post, I had to pause…a bit of an issue popped up for me. I said to Him…I feel like I am supposed to write this post…but I feel uncomfortable in doing so. It is so personal to me. His response blew me away. “Then don’t write it. I am no longer going to push you outside of your comfort zone…make you do things you don’t want to do.” 😳

Whoa!!! He has never given me a choice before. I have been His slave for 30 years.

A Choice

Recently, He said to me…”I am going to give you a choice. You can accept or reject what I am asking of you. You are free to rule and reign.”

I was skeptical. Super. Turns out…He wasn’t kidding. 🤯

Just having a say…the power to say no…changes everything for me. No more obligation. I get to follow my heart now. Incredible. Such a relief for me. ❤️ I am in love. WOW!

That being said…when I thought about writing this post…I wanted to write it. I wanted to share a few things here…which I did. Choosing carefully what I felt comfortable sharing…versus what I would prefer to keep as a private affair. That feels good to me.

Progress.

SO…I am looking forward to this new time in life. A time when the truth will prevail. The truth will break through the silent cancer that has for so long left people in darkness, deception, and death. A NEW time…a NEW life. A NEW way of LIFE. A new LIFEstyle. Truth will rule and reign in this world. We will lead the slaves out of captivity. We will set the people free. His voice…will ring through the silence. It will break the silence and break the chains.

The truth is powerful. Speak it. Live it. Walk it. It is coming. It will set you free. AND…when spoken in love…it will heal the heart. 😍