Many years ago…on three separate occasions…out of the blue…Father said to me…Feed My Sheep. By the third time He said it, I was exasperated with Him. Over twenty years ago, He told me I would be teaching the Bride. Ok…that was fine with me…but then I have waited all these years for that promise…one promise among many…to come to pass. In the meantime, I have been laboring…HARD. Working my fanny off to get through the purification needed to be ready to teach. Long drawn-out process fraught with immeasurable pain. Not a fan of the training it required.
In fact, I once sat down with Him and had a conversation about this. It went something like this. Always an argument on my side. It was like I was on the computer looking for a job. At first glance, you look at the job title along with the job description. You scroll through all the tasks that will be assigned to you while performing the job. I looked through them and said to Him…all those tasks…I can do. Not triggered by anything there. Sounds good to me.
Then I look at the education required for the job….eh…I am ok with that. Love to learn. Love a challenge. Why not?
Training
Then I look at the training required. No way. Nope. No thank you.
It is at this point in time…He talks about the rewards…the benefits. Still no thank you. Find someone else to endure that training.
The problem is…I am already locked in.
Already years into this training…my thoughts…I have already given so much up…I can’t turn back now. I can’t go backward, and I can’t stop. The only way out is to move forward. It is a trap. 😜
It kind of makes me think of my personal training session this morning.
I have my life back after getting freedom from being chained to death. Such a glorious feeling for me. It is like the last six years didn’t even happen. I blinked and it all disappeared from my view. I am back to normal again. Normal for me. 😂
Glenn is my trainer. We connected almost instantly in a multitude of ways. He is intelligent, intuitive, FUNNY, compassionate, a man in touch with his emotions and not afraid to talk about them, caring, etc. I call him my BIG brother. He calls me LITTLE sis. It is highly amusing since I am 100 pounds even and he is gargantuan as a professional bodybuilder. He swallows me up when he hugs me.
He told me to rest this morning in between sets. I said…I am not good at resting…this is why I have you as my trainer. 😉
His response…pointing his finger and making a forward motion with his arm…he said…I KNOW…you only have ONE speed…100 miles an hour. 🤣 Straight up truth. I move in one direction…forward at 100 miles an hour 24/7.
One Way
How Glenn was pointing this morning is how the Kingdom of Heaven moves. It moves in a forward direction…meaning NOT backward. It is a one-way street. A one-way road, right? Christ is the way. He is the only way. Only one way to get to Father and to enter His Kingdom of Heaven…through the only door…Christ. It is His way and only His way. Your way…won’t get you there. Man’s ways are unlimited in scope and all of man’s ways lead to the same destination…Hell.
I am always seeing that sign that says it isn’t about the destination but instead it is about the journey. For me…it is ALL about the destination. The destination determines my journey. I want to spend eternity in Heaven, so my journey is now predetermined for me. I only have one way to get to THAT destination. To get there…I must follow Him…not my own leadership. Can’t follow anyone else’s leadership either for they aren’t the example to follow.
Camping in 2020
As I have mentioned before on this blog, after my dad passed away in 2020 of cancer, I took a trip out West with my dog Tonto. We drove 11,000 miles in 34 days visiting many National Parks…mostly camping along the way.
When I got back, the family took a weekend to do some bonding at a nearby campground. Super fun. Have always taken my kids camping so getting to camp with them as adults is WAY better. They all have the motivation and energy to do the work.
There are perks to aging at times. 😜
Sometimes…aging is not so fun, but I am enjoying the 50s currently. All good.
Family Bucket List
During this camping trip, we started discussing what we would like to do in the future as a family. It led to Vanessa…building our family bucket list in her notes on her phone.
We began to dream of things we thought would be fun to do. As we named them off, Vanessa typed them up for us. The list is wonderfully insane. It led to lots of questions as to WHY some of the items were being listed. LOVE this list.
When the kids were young, I started asking Father to give me the gift of traveling the world with my children. I love my kids. Love traveling. Love traveling with my kids. It is a no-brainer for me…travel the world with my kids. Sounds like a great idea to me. 🤷♀️
We love taking vacations together as we get along really well…functioning as a team.
Gypsy Caravan
A few weeks ago, the family started seeking Father on a plan.
We are asking Him to give us the ability to travel together. Our little gypsy caravan is what we are calling it. Mitchell describes our family as gypsies who cook. Such a funny description of us. We do love to travel, and we do love to cook. It works for us.
We are all giddy over the idea.
We are all unified and ready to sell out…drop everything and go. Currently, we are waiting on Him to provide two things for us first. I believe He will provide, and we WILL go.
We do believe this is a spiritual traveling…but hope it also means we will travel physically as a family. Lots of plans are being discussed amongst us.
It seems the dreams of a lifetime are starting to take shape for me. I see a glimmer of light. Hope. It is beautiful.
I would love to travel the world with my family. A dream come true for me. One I have been asking for…for MANY years.
Teaching
Memorial Day Weekend was for sure memorable for me.
On Sunday morning, Hannah and I were hard at work. We took a break in the afternoon to do some family bonding at a local strawberry social…then back to work we went.
What was super cool for me was that I got a second teaching for the site…but this one is a program. A phenomenal day in every possible way.
When I got home and climbed into bed, Father and I were discussing who I am again. It is a theme we are stuck on right now. I need to absorb all the nutrients I can from the truth about who I am.
I can’t remember what we were discussing exactly…life is a whirlwind right now…however…I do remember what He said. In this really excited voice, He said…we have lift off. I saw me…as the rocket blasting off Earth.
WOWSER BOWSWER MAN! I have been waiting A LONG time for lift off. Oodles of years ago, He told me…I will launch you. Meaning…you don’t launch yourself…and no one else launches you. He alone chooses the time for lift-off. It is all about doing it in His timing.
It tied in with something He said to me while I was living in Colorado.
Ranking
I started this site while living in Colorado Springs. It was one of my stops while living in the Wilderness. One of the purposes of traveling around in circles in the Wilderness is dependency. It is a time of homelessness and BARE NECESSITIES. He used to sing that song to me. I never did like that song…never did find the humor in it. 🤔 I lived 100% completely dependent on Him for every provision I had. Every little bit, He would say…you are getting ready to move. Living out of bags, boxes, and on occasion…luggage…was frustrating and exhausting at times.
When I started the site, Vanessa was educating me on SEO. Lots of convos about SEO. This is not my first rodeo here. I have had several blogs in the past and learned long ago…I have no desire to build a site following man’s ways.
The SEO faces behind the scenes on my site…are typically frowning at me. Scowling…telling me I am not following the rules to get the ranking I need with the internet powers that be. They used to annoy me…now I just ignore them.
While Vanessa and I were standing in the kitchen during this time, Father said so clearly to me…It is not Google who ranks you…it is ME who ranks you. He was saying to me…forget ranking on Google. I will rank you when it is time.
Hakuna Matata… worry-free philosophy. Love it. Saves me from having to BE somebody and perform for the people. Not into that.
I am always getting emails from agencies wanting to help me with my site. The other day a guy sent me an email saying he loved my site, but it isn’t ranking at all. He could help me with my problem. It made me smile. I am well aware I am still currently a nobody…hidden in plain sight. Kind of loving the anonymity honestly. Once I rank…no more anonymity for me. Going to enjoy the privacy while I can. 💙
Memorial Day
After Father gave me the concept of my second teaching on Sunday evening, I was stoked. However, I still wasn’t sure how to give it the dimension it needed. I could see it flat on the paper in black and white…but I couldn’t see the color of it. Also…all I could see was one dimension. I needed more sight.
On Monday, the fam decided to head to a local lake we often visit for some fun in the sun. I decided to ride with Hannah and Esme to the lake because Father had given me some things to share with her related to our work the day before. While in route, I shared with her the concept of my teaching. Her response gave me the sight I needed for the dimension. I saw it so clearly.
What was funny to me…she was in disagreement with me in her response. She said…no…you need to offer that as a service to people. Immediately…I saw it. I could hardly contain my excitement.
Of course, I love watching the girl eat it. Watching kids live and do adult things is highly entertaining for me. Makes me smile. 🥰
It is Time
It keeps taking me back to Bobbi in her deep-throated voice imitating Rafiki…it is time.
Time for me to rise. Like a Phoenix out of the ashes. Katie Perry’s song Rise is on repeat in my life right now. My rocket rising up…lifting off to launch the truth. To usher in the Kingdom of Light and Destroy the Kingdom of Darkness. I am hoping this lift-off includes crossing over into my Promised Land…passing through the veil that separates the seen realm from the unseen realm. I am going to be pissed as Hell at Him if it does not. His bedroom is my destination. I need some lovin’. Just sayin’. Better be a whole lot of romancing going on here. I earned it.
This morning, I saw myself in a kitchen. My house was full of people, and I was trying to make sure I had enough plates to feed the people.
Dreams
It feels like my dreams are going to come to pass. At least, now I can rest with the teachings flowing in. I know they are finally coming. An income…my wages for the last 30 years of working for Him and not receiving a paycheck here on Earth is truly going to have a payoff for me…and my children.
Looking forward to managing my business…been a long-time dream for me. I have always wanted to own my own business and share it with my kiddos.
I love my family more than words can speak and I want to bless them beyond measure for sticking with me through this crazy life I lovingly call the Twilight Zone.
This morning Father said to me…I come bearing gifts.
Wow…sounds like a great idea to me. I will take ALL of them please and thank you. Don’t withhold one of them from me. This gal is hungry and thirsty. Not sure He can lavish too much love on me at this point in my life.
As I have said before…the saying below fits me to a T.
If some is good and more is better…then too much is never enough.
Yep…that is the obsessive, passionate me. 😂
Love
Love is a beautiful thing that does wonderful things to a person when you accept it and see the value of true love. To reject love…is death.
Vanessa sent me this text this morning out of the blue. Wasn’t expecting it at all.
I wanted to include it here as my ending. It felt good to listen to the song and read the lyrics for what it means.
Love and kindness can do so much for a person…unbeknownst to you.
While typing this post, I am sitting in a local little garden under the gazebo. I love coming to this place. While here, an elderly woman entered the garden but saw me and then kind of hid under the shade of a tree. I felt like she wanted to sit in the gazebo but was too insecure to enter it with me here. So, I walked over to her and invited her to sit. I shared with her I was quietly working but she was welcome to sit if she came here to do so.
She was super grateful. I spent the next ten minutes listening to her tell me her story. 🤣 Before she ventured off, she asked if she could pray for me. I said sure. She did.
Then she asked if I would pray for her. I did.
Impact
I don’t know what I said to her that meant so much to her but before she left…she made sure to tell me I had no idea how much better I made her day. It was a sweet moment from a woman who was genuinely touched for some reason.
She thanked me several times for caring about her and making a point to welcome her into the gazebo.
It was a great moment for me…a lesson in the importance of observation…and caring about people. Just showing a bit of kindness to people can change their mood and brighten their day.
Be kind. Be love. Show compassion. Care about people.
Have a marvy day!!!!!