Happy

I am happy…full of joy. Felt like sharing the love with the masses…when they get here. For now, sharing the love for myself.

I feel like I have a lot of words to use in this post. Imagine that!

The featured image is first on my list. Somewhere in the last few weeks, I drew that in my little notebook. Around the same time, I made that into a little jingle I sang on repeat.

It goes like this. I am so happy. So fucking happy…I am so happy today. There ya go. Now ya know my happy little jingle.

Bobbilicious is always sending snaps. Goodness…LOVE her snaps. Her personality is tops. I wish the whole world knew her. She is fun and funny in the sweetest way.

She sent a snap of total darkness. Bobbi and Mavis were in bed. Mavis was a little chatty Cathy. In her sweet little voice, Little Miss Mavis Joy says…Mommy…I am happy. Melt my heart. Goodness…so precious.

I sent Bobbi the photo in the featured image above. I told her…I am happy too.

Feels good to be happy.

Doodles

This post is picture-heavy. Sixteen photos in this one.

Why, you might ask?

Two reasons. Can you guess the first one? If you have read other posts, you will KNOW that answer already. Cuz Father told me to. There ya go.

The second reason is because it makes me happy to share these photos with you.

Father told me this blog was a gift from Him to me. It was to make me happy. Be a happy place for me. This blog does make me happy. It is an outlet for me to share my thoughts and feelings. If you don’t like what I have to say or how I say it…you don’t have to be here. Such a simple concept. If you do like something here…you are welcome to stay. How bout dem apples? Pretty dang great, don’t ya think? It is a choice. Preferences. Glory be!!!

Father wants us to come to Him like a little child. That means a whole host of things, right? He packs a lot of meaning in one simple thing…on repeat. He is the Great Recycler.

Childlike

Humility is tops. Come with the knowledge of truth…that you don’t know the truth. He is the source of it…so ask Him.

Also…come with a sense of childlike wonder and innocence. Be in awe of things you are learning. Things you do not know. Have a tender heart to LEARN. Enjoy learning. Find joy and wonder in learning.

The one thing I tried hard to instill in my kiddos as I homeschooled them was…you don’t know…but you can learn. NEVER stop learning. Learning is a gift. Treasure it. Pursue growth in every area of life.

I am learning art. At 54, I am learning to engage my right brain creative side of me. The part of me…He created…but has been dormant in a lot of ways all these years.

Crystal Ann Laura is childlike in the art world right now. I am sharing some of my sense of fun, joy, and wonder with you.

Chillaxin’

The work for me is over. My mind is quiet. Eerily so. Yet, blissfully, wonderfully quiet.

I am chilling. Relaxing. Chillaxin’.

Since I have all this free time, I am playing with art. Decided to share some of it below and share some thoughts about perspective…on my perspective drawings. BUT…first…

I had a thought this morning. I am living proof that Christ’s truth sets you free from the prison cell mankind lives inside of…called their flesh.

For over thirty years now, I have been working this little fanny off…exchanging my lies with His truths. Working on my bad self. Dumping my issues and taking His perfection. Doing hard things. Changing. Growing. Working. Laboring. Dying to my selfish flesh. Such a work!!!!

Free

Today…I am free.

I am still homeless. Have no vehicle. No income. Carrying $20,000 in debt I can’t pay. Probably going to have a wonderful conversation with a debt collector today. I enjoy our conversations…but would prefer Father pay the debts free and clear. However, my debt callers have been the greatest, sweetest folk. They always bless me with their words. Great training. I always give them great reviews. For real.

Still hidden from the world. Still have zero evidence in this realm that Father’s promises will come to pass. Promises He made me over twenty years ago. Been working so hard for things I can’t see.

YET…I am the happiest I have ever been in 54 years. I am proof…Jesus Christ can set you free. From anything. From everything. I KNOW it intimately. This ole gal has lived it.

HE makes me happy. NOT people and not my circumstances. Father/Christ/Holy Spirit is the source of joy and happiness.

Heart

I hope when you look at the childlike pictures, you will see a grown woman’s heart coming to Father in awe and wonder. With joy and happiness in her heart.

It makes me happy to be learning something new. I do not despise small beginnings. Neither should you. None of us should.

So…find joy in the little things. Be in awe, learning things you do not know. Have fun throughout the process. Let the SON shine in your heart. Let His light shine in and bring warmth and joy there. In every situation. Every circumstance.

I also want to share something I have touched on before on this blog. In one of my archived posts, I shared a situation years ago. I had an Instagram. On it, I was sharing my photos.

Father had shown me in a dream/vision that an old friend of mine was going to lash out at me. She was in cahoots with the enemy.

She did. My old friend made a fake IG account with her son’s first name and stock photo. Then came on and trashed my photo. She was angry with me. Super triggered. Instead of dealing with her heart issues…she vomited her toxicity all over me. I blocked the account and moved on.

Heart Issues

I say this…because I will always say this. DEAL with YOUR heart issues first. Before you lash out and say hate-filled, toxic things to other people…look in the mirror. YOU are going to have a plank in your eye.

If you are an artist and come here bashing my childlike doodles and drawings…you have negative issues in your heart you need to deal with. No different than the potty mouth patrol and the grammar nazis…deal with your heart issues. I choose to use cuss words and break the grammar rules. If you choose not to…great for you. We can co-exist here in this world without hating one another.

Perspective

In the rest of this post, I want to talk about perspective. As I always say, every single thing in the natural world is a picture of what is happening in the supernatural world.

Mankind’s perspective of everything needs to be adjusted. That is one of my purposes.

Years ago, Father told me I would write a worldview curriculum. I would change mankind’s worldview.

Man…the thought of that monumental task overwhelmed me for years. I finally got cleaned up. Got over my bad self. Studying worldview was mandatory in my homeschool. Each child had to study it before they graduated. They spent six to seven years studying worldview. It started in junior high and ramped up pretty hard through high school.

Worldview is a powerful study. Logic too. I honestly don’t know how people function without those two studies.

I know how important it is. How powerful it is. Also know what a task it will be to reeducate the masses with a new worldview curriculum.

I AM UP FOR THE TASK, THOUGH!!!!! Beam me up, Scotty!!! I am ready to rock and roll here.

Positive and Negative

Let’s just discuss positive and negative. Anyone that knows me very well at all…knows I prefer to be positive.

Listen, I hate drama. Hate negativity. Hate anything that drags me down. I am the world’s greatest at converting a negative into a positive. I can’t live in negativity. Refuse to do that. Refuse to stay there. That is why Father locking me in the prison of Hell during the Male Child saga was so incredibly bad for me. I don’t do negative. Crystal Ann Laura works as hard and as fast as I can to get out of that land.

I did.

Here is my perspective about self. I am fixable. Changeable. Repairable. Christ can fix all the bad in me and convert my bad to His good.

See? Such a simple perspective. It set me free all those years ago of me beating the shit out of me endlessly because I did something bad.

Ok…I failed. Made a mistake. Was disobedient. Bad. Negative. Etc. BUT…I can change and do better the next time. I can LEARN from my mistakes. I did.

Take that same perspective to EVERYTHING in life.

If I can change…so can you. People can change. People will change.

No one has to stay stuck in their negative situation. You can take that negative situation and, with Christ’s help, turn it for good.

I am going to use that same attitude with my artwork here. I will share what I like and what I don’t like…what I can improve upon.

Voyager

I am sure I have mentioned before…our family is a fan of Star Trek…especially the Voyager series.

I grew up with an older brother who was a computer geek. That may be why I love techno geeks so much. I estimate their value and worth to be unlimited.

My older brother demanded control over the TV growing up. It was…I either watch what he watches or nothing at all.

SO…I grew up watching Star Trek, Dr. Who, and every other geekster show on TV. I also came to love Brits as a result. Mr. Mitchell Man caught the bug as he grew up. He and I are Sherlock fans together.

I shared a recent text convo between Mr. Mitchell Man and myself.

I was doing the above drawing while I was watching Captain Kathryn Janeway get her crew out of another near-death tragedy. As a result, I didn’t even notice the three signs were not the same size…until after the drawing was complete.

I can’t tell you how long I sat there discussing with myself…do I erase and start the signs over…or just walk away and call it done. Such a PAINFUL conversation. The signs REALLY bother me.

Quilt

It reminds me of a situation I got myself into many years ago.

I made Donovan a queen-sized quilt. It was kind of an Earthy…natural world…animal quilt. I got all the blocks done, sewed them together as the top. Complete with the borders. For the backing, I had purchased material that had deer on it. It was a large picture of deer standing together in a repeating pattern.

As I always do, I cut the material and sew the two pieces together. This made the material large enough to cover the entire back of the quilt.

I then laid the back down, put the batting on it, the top on, and pinned it all together. Spent several hours at the sewing machine, quilting the layers together. I was so proud of myself. It looked great.

I flipped the quilt over to look at the quilting pattern on the back. Sometimes, I like the looks of the quilting pattern from the back better than the front.

To my HORROR, I realized I had sewn those damn deer on the backing material in opposite directions. One side of the deer was upside down.

ALL THAT WORK!!!!!!!

Guild

I took it to the quilters guild that we would occasionally visit. Those women were tops. I told them my story and asked what they would do. We took a poll. Half said they would rip it all out, fix it, and start all over with that backing. They wouldn’t be able to live with it that way. The other half said they would keep it and laugh at the story.

I ripped it all out and redid it. My OCD could not live it. The quilt is nearly destroyed now. It is tattered and torn. Donovan and Vanessa have used it well. Every time I see that quilt, I think of that story.

With this drawing, I think I am going to leave the sign.

Look at me go and grow in maturity.

Cityscapes

I decided to try my hand at Cityscapes. That seems to be a great way to practice perspectives.

The skyline one with the taller buildings was my most recent one. It is my favorite thus far. I am really having fun with my charcoal pencils. Who knew they could be so fun? I had no idea.

Drawing with all these fun measuring tools is so much fun. Goodness…this could be addictive, I think.

I am amazed that I didn’t start this sooner in my life. I literally think in pictures and words. Why have I not been drawing more????

SO…in the skyline pic…I love that one. Pretty pleased with it. I would like to learn more about shading and shadows…but overall, that photo is good for me. It makes me happy.

The next perspective photo is a bit wonky for me. I love the yellow sun. I had to put a bit of color in it. Decided to use my colored pencils for it. I like the road coming to a v at the front. For the most part, I like my shading. I am not a fan of the window angles and the spacing under the windows on the front building. The building on the left makes me happy. The other two hurt my eyes a bit. They are off in some way. Not sure what I did wrong or how I could fix it. This is when you need an artist to mentor you.

Debriefing

It makes me think of a YouTube channel I follow. I think it is called Pilot Debrief. May be wrong on that name. I love the guy. He takes crashes and analyzes what was good and bad. What went wrong.

It is like the Blue Angels. I love everything about them. Love how they analyze every single movement. They practice in the debriefing room BEFORE they fly. The leader literally talks them through it word by word. So meticulous. Organized. Order. LOVE all those traits.

That is how you learn and make it stick.

Over and over again…you analyze what you did good and bad. You learn from your mistakes. Always looking for improvement in every area of life.

It is SUCH a valuable way to live.

Get over your bad self and realize you have room for improvement in EVERY area of your life…body, soul, and spirit.

This is what I am doing on a tiny scale with my artwork. Debriefing publicly with you. Telling you what I think is good and bad about it. Where I KNOW I can improve.

House

The last one is my little house.

I love the pattern I used on the roof to show texture. Absolutely love my little chimney. So freaking cute!!!

I could seriously improve on the angles in the whole picture. The triangle of the roof is horrible. Janky. Looks like someone was practicing carpentry skills.

Love my little sidewalk moving toward the road. The little girl in me had to put that there as an afterthought. It made me happy, so I put it there.

There ya go. Now ya know some of my art thoughts.

Update

Before I sign off, I will share a bit of an update on my life.

In the last post, I shared about the waterfall visions. I realized the somersaults I was doing when He launched me off the waterfall…means head over heels. I am going to fall head over heels in love. I was highly amused by that visual.

Also…the river that precedes that waterfall, which was overtaking me, is words. The water is a picture of His words. I knew that already, but I realized…He has a lot of words to use. He is going to drown me in truth. All knowledge.

Alrighty then!

I am tired of being hidden. Ready for Him to launch me. Ready to be known.

I am itching to have discussions with the people. To actually have a conversation. In fact, I am starting to post comments on YouTube. Tired of silently watching them talk about me as if they know the truth.

It makes me happy to comment. Not going to sit here silently hidden any longer. Time to get out into the world. Time to take my place.

MAKES ME HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO VERY HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BEE Happy too!

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