I Have A Dream

Indeed, I have a dream. In this long post, I am going to share what that dream is…and how it came to become my dream. As always…lots of parts and pieces to this puzzle…this picture.

But first…why I am sharing this. Bottom line…Father told me to…but here is a snippet of that convo.

The previous post…I wrote this morning before I drove into town for an appointment with a friend. On the way there, I was lamenting to Him about how I felt like I sounded like I needed to do inner healing on an issue instead of writing it in a public post.

This is one of the downsides to radical obedience. At times, you look like a fool. A crazy person who is delusional and has mental health issues. Man…never been a fan of that. BUT, I obey. For years, I said on repeat…”I don’t get a say…I just obey.” Eye rolls and sighs of resignation were included with the statement.

His response to me regarding this issue was always the same…better to have the appearance of a fool than to BE a fool and disobey me.

True dat man…true dat.

Huge difference between BEING a fool and LOOKING like a fool. I choose wisdom. I choose life.

So, I asked Him…why did you have me finish that post up with a bit of a rant. He shared a number of reasons. Transparency. Relatability. Honesty. Sharing of the heart and mind.

And…He is tired of it too.

Ok…gotcha…sharing your heart…thoughts and feelings on the matter.

Question

I also asked Him…do I need to do inner healing on an issue. Is there something in me that is unresolved that makes me frustrated…something I need to deal with? Something negative lurking in the dark in my mind and/or heart?

His response…No. I want you to do another post on the matter. This time…share your dream. Share your heart. Share what it is you have wanted so passionately…and why.

Oof.

That is simple…yet very complicated.

Sharing parts and pieces of why this dream came to be…is getting publicly naked. Opening up my heart and sharing snippets of my past with strangers.

The dream is birthed out of much pain. 52 years’ worth…I have had the dream since I was a child. I knew in my heart what I wanted long before I could articulate it in my mind.  It isn’t just my dream. It is His. A calling He put in my heart at my birth. A calling I can’t escape…and I have tried. More times than I can count. He just keeps calling me to build it. It is my destiny.

Family

I am to build a family. His. A covenantal community. A home. A place where His children and Christ’s Bride can come to live and fellowship…in love and intimacy. A place of health. A healthy environment with healthy people who have and maintain healthy relationships. A clean and pure environment.

If you read my article on my home page titled What to Expect Here…you will know I have boundaries. I am a solid rock on them in my relationships. Learned all of them the hard way. One of those boundaries for me…I don’t do relationships with toxic people. I am a clean woman. Therefore, I fellowship with clean people. I take out the trash and garbage daily in my life, sometimes that includes people who refuse to change and grow.

On my site, I will never allow trashy comments or interactions. My site is clean. It will stay clean. This site is about life…adding it to people…not taking life from people. We aren’t going to promote, elevate, or encourage death here. Not happening. I am building beauty…not ugly. Health will rule and reign here…NOT toxicity, drama, trauma, division, and strife. I am speaking His truth here…not man’s opinions and/or “my truths.”

Unity

Holy Spirit is the unifier. He will ALWAYS unify people who are listening to Him. ALWAYS.

One of my goals…is unity…in TRUTH…here.

The truth brings health to all three of your bodies. Body, soul, and spirit.

Man’s my truths…opinions…bring disease and death to all three of your bodies.

I am 100% all in regarding health. I am HIS healing agent. For years, I have been working with people to bring them health of the heart and mind. To expose the lies they believe about themselves and the world…and offer those up to Father…to replace them with His truth. Christ. It is mind and heart renewal. It is transformational…in ways, you cannot imagine if you haven’t experienced it.

We will come back to this in a bit. Put a pin there…a little Post-it note. It is pertinent.

Here is what I want to see…within this covenantal family.

Covenantal People

Men and women who are:

Obedient to Father	Instead of disobedient
Brave…warriors	Instead of cowards
Strong	Instead of weak
Laborers…hard workers	Instead of lazy people
Selfless servants for Him	Instead of selfishly serving self
Healthy people…all 3 bodies. Who care about health…all health.	Instead of toxic, sick, and lame people who don’t care.

This is a small part of the list. A very small part.

St. Louis

A few years ago, the girls and I were driving to St. Louis for the day. On the way there, Vanessa was telling me she ran into a former preacher friend of ours. We didn’t know him well but had invited him into our home several times to feed him and his family. Our family loved him and respected him.

In the conversation, she said he had inquired about me. Wondering how I was doing, was I going to a church somewhere, etc. She told him I had left the Christian Religious System. One of the things he said to her was this…I don’t think she will ever find what she is looking for.

He didn’t elaborate and Vanessa didn’t ask. I wasn’t sure exactly what he meant either. My suspicions…he thought I was looking for the perfect church. WRONG! Not sure how he got that impression based on our limited conversations, but…as always…I took it straight to Father. I said to Him…what is that all about.

He simply said…it is true…you will never find it…because you were created to build it. You will build what I have placed in your heart to have.

Ok…that cleared that up for me. Moving on.

I want health. Cleanliness. Purity. Not just for myself…but for mankind. For this planet Earth.

For years, I would walk along the riverfront each day. At a certain place on my walk, I would come up to an area that always collected garbage from the Ohio River. Every single time…I would say the same thing to Father when I came upon that spot. We are a FILTHY people, Father. We are toxic. This planet and these people are toxic waste dumps.

Friend

My friend and I were talking on the phone once. Father was always speaking to us both at the same time. Truly an incredible experience for the two of us. We became addicted to our conversations. They were always so productive. While we were talking, Father said to her…Crystal asks for things she doesn’t really want.

She gasped in horror. Literally. This loud intake of breath. She hissed at me…why do you do that to yourself????

I had to laugh. She is one of the funniest people I have ever met.

I explained…I don’t get a say…I just obey. I ask Holy Spirit…what do you want me to ask for…then He tells me, and I just repeat it to Father.

I never really fully understand what I am asking for…until it happens. Then I am horrified myself. Vanessa and Hannah have repeatedly said to me…we are never asking for the things you ask for. Never. 🤣 I get it.

For Example

Many years ago, I rented a cabin at a lake and hosted a retreat for a group of women I had been investing in. We did the retreat during Rosh Hashanah. At the retreat, I put the women through a purification program/process Father had given me for them. At the end of the weekend, we did a ceremony at our firepit, and we read vows we had each written to Father followed up by the blowing of our shofar. It was a really amazing weekend. Ruined me on all retreats. Father planned every detail for me, and it was a beautiful time for us all. Can never do a man-centered retreat again.

One of my vows…was that I would storm the gates of Hell. (Really had no clue what that entailed.)

Fast forward several years.

Satan’s Ways

Father and I were discussing Satan and his kingdom. Satan’s ways. How he operates. That kind of thing.

Over the years, I have had friends who were steeped in the occult. I know people who got out of Satanic worship to enter into Christianity. I have had conversations with people about their Satanic worship practices…both those who were currently in…and those who left.

One particular friend was once sharing with me how abhorrent Halloween was to Father. This was not news to me…Father and I had discussed Halloween many years prior to this conversation. I let my friend share with me how she came to the truth about this particular holiday, and why Father had convicted her to stop celebrating it. One of her passions regarding Halloween was the practice of human sacrifices on Halloween. The women would get pregnant on purpose and abortions would be performed on Halloween. Blood sacrifices…offered up to Satan. As a believer in life now and not death…she was passionate to warn people of what Halloween truly is…behind the scenes. It is more than dressing up in costumes and eating candy. It is a celebration of death…not life.

A few years later, a young man approached me at a local coffee shop that was a loud and proud Christian establishment. I was sitting alone waiting on the time to pass for an appointment down the street. He asked if he could join me and visit with me. I said…sure…pull up a chair.

Lively Discussion

We started a lively discussion. He was a very articulate…well-spoken young man and a deep thinker. He was in the occult and was proud of that. All dressed in black and announcing to me his religious affiliation. Immediately, I was fascinated. Man…I am all in with this convo dude. Keep talking.

He did. I listened.

He made a comment to me about sacrifices. He was saying they don’t.

I said to him…I know that isn’t true. Then, I shared with him my knowledge of abortions that are performed by sacrificing babies on their altars every year on Halloween. I also shared…that doesn’t just happen on Halloween. Satan wants the blood. To him…the sacrifice of a life is power to him. Christ’s shed blood is power. It is the yin and yang. The opposites. Easy math.

He was shocked. Dumbfounded. Speechless for a moment. Then he said…how did you know. I shared with him about my friend who grew up as a witch in the occult. How every one of her family members was in the occult. My friend…is not a liar. I trusted her to tell me the truth about the physical activities that were done while she was a part of that Satanic coven.

Distortion

Here is where I started to veer off though.

If you go online, you can find in the Christian Religious System…many “ex” occult members who are now Christians who want to teach you all about the occult, its practices, and what all of that means.

I am fine with hearing that you actually sacrificed a baby…like I believe that is true. A physical reality. A fact. An undeniable truth here in this realm. That makes logical sense from a spiritual perspective. That is happening. We are offering up our children in this world on the altars of Baal and Molech. Not just in blood sacrifices of abortion…but even in the sports arena. Man plugs their children into sports to be sacrificed on the altar at the gym. The gym is the temple. The coaches are the priests of those temples. The kids are chained to sports. Day in and day out. Enslaved until they die. Even when they get too old or broken down to participate physically…their hearts and minds are still enslaved to the worship of the gods of sports. They will worship sports until they die. Die with their favorite team, player, and/or coach.

Those parents who are enslaving their children to a game…are just as guilty as the parents who are shedding the blood of their babies on an abortion table. It is no different. When you sacrifice your child to an idol at the temple…you are a murderer in Father’s eyes. We lose WAY more children’s lives in a gym than we do on an abortion table. That is a spiritual truth…fact. More children are sacrificed on the altar of sports than those who die in the womb. Both are considered murder by the parents to Father.

Don’t like that…take it up with Father. He is your judge. I am just a purveyor of His truth.

Man’s Interpretation

However, what I am not fine with…is man interpreting to me what is happening in the spirit realm within the occult.

You tell me that your coven aborted three babies on Halloween. Ok…got that. Easy to believe and understand.

But you tell me that when you do this chant or incantation, and it does this…or when you do this…demons do this…or I can put this potion here and I get this kind of power…ok…now I am not buying what you are selling.

Explain this to me. How do you KNOW when you do certain things here…demons are bowing to your demands?

Ok…to me…this is a lesson in common sense and logic. Very simple math lesson here.

Satan…and all his demons…are liars.

You want ME to believe you…when you are trying to educate me about the dark spirit world…based on what demons…KNOWN liars…told you? What you thought you saw in the dark world?

Smoke and Mirrors

Listen…smoke and mirrors. It is all smoke and mirrors. Lies and deception.

Ok…so this is where I got stuck and this is what led to a discussion with Father about the dark world. Satan’s kingdom.

I said to Him one day…I want to know and understand the TRUTH about Satan’s kingdom…his world. In order to know the truth…YOU have to teach me because I can’t believe a thing any man says about Satan’s kingdom because they are basing all that off smoke and mirror experiences and things lying demons told them. There is no truth about Satan here.

It just seemed foolish to me to read a book about the occult or talk to people about it when I wasn’t going to find truth there regarding the dark world…what was going on in that world…behind the veil.

I asked Father…teach me about Satan…and the dark world. Educate me about his kingdom. How he operates. How he functions. Who he is. That kind of thing.

Asking For Things

Ok…so go back up to Father saying that I ask for things I don’t really want.

Yep.

Going to storm the gates of Hell and learn all about Satan and his kingdom.

Sometimes…I am not the brightest bulb in the shed. 🤷‍♀️

Vanessa and Hannah can’t believe the things I ask for.

Fast forward…He answers my request and puts a ball and chain around my ankle. Securely anchoring me in Hell. Five years there.

Wow…no words about that.

Let me say this…what made it even worse…was the fact I was so clean. I still can’t wrap my head around Christ leaving Heaven to come to this mess here. Man…He LOVES His wife because I wouldn’t do it.

Sitting in Hell with the stench and filthy defilement was more than this old girl could bear. That place is nasty. I learned much though.

This World

While there, I started to see the world and the people in it, through His eyes. Very complicated sight. Many layers to all of it.

Here is just one. The toxicity. It goes back to my walk on the riverfront and seeing all the pollution. The garbage.

That is a picture of man. Each man. Each one is FILTHY inside. Inside their hearts and minds. Think hoarding. Hoarding lies and deception in your body…not just your physical house on Earth…but your houses…body, soul, and spirit.

Over the years, Father has educated me in strange ways. One way is through social media and/or online sites.

I gotta tell you. I loathe social media. Left that place behind and said GOOD RIDDANCE. It is the Borg…resistance is futile. You will be assimilated. Enslavement.

To be honest, I am asking Father to remove it from this world completely. I want it to disappear. It is an idol. A stronghold. A drug people use. An addiction to distract themselves from cleaning up their shitty smelly pants. It is fake. People smiling for the camera and building a false narrative of what they want people to believe their life is really like. A façade. A show.

Education His Way

At times, He would have me follow specific people for a while. For example, a preacher. Read his writings and all the comments. Then He would tell me the truth about the man and the lies and deception contained within the comments. Show me what was happening behind the veil. Crazy way to educate someone.

Part of that has been perusing people who call themselves life coaches, healers, gurus, etc. People who claim to be helping others by sharing their own journeys in life of how they “got better.” How they got sober. How they got rich. How they were enlightened. How they got out of a bad relationship. How they got healthy and wealthy. How they got centered. How they “showed up” for themselves. How they became their “authentic self.” The list goes on and on with their disgusting claims.

False teachers. Liars…lying to themselves and lying to the masses. False marketing. Garbage. Nauseating. Makes me sick to see it.

Father once sent me to a seminar in St. Louis years ago. It was hosted by a life coach and counselor. She was going to educate the people about depression, I think. Can’t remember the topic. I listened. Father sent me so He wanted me to get something out of it. I already knew what the woman was going to say. I was right. Same garbage I have been hearing out of man’s mouths for years.

After it was over, I had a question for her.

I said to her…we call it anger management because it is only managing the anger within. It is not setting the people free from their anger. When people in your profession are dealing with depression or even addictions…if I understand it right…you are not setting the people free from what is causing them to use in the first place…you are teaching them coping mechanisms, correct? Ways to cope.

She said…yes. We are redirecting them to a healthier way to cope.

Self-Help Gurus

That is the problem with all these self-help gurus and “experts,” they are NOT free themselves…so they can’t possibly lead you out of slavery in your mind and heart…into freedom. They merely spew vomit out about their own diseases and toxicity.

I liken it to this…

Years ago, my family trashed my reputation. They had a major hate campaign against me of lies, slander, gossip, malice, etc. I had set boundaries with them regarding their toxic behavior, and they all lost their shit over it. As a result, they were out for my blood. Going to destroy me in every way they could. It spanned several states, and I lost at least a hundred people out of my life over that mess. Very effective smear campaign. 😂

Father wanted me to endure, so I would not rely on man’s opinions of me for my value and worth. It was a painful experience, but it was necessary for me to become the woman I am today.

At the onset of this family drama, my brother and his wife were spreading lies about me and my children. I confronted him on the issue and asked him to stop. It did not stop. The lies and gossip got worse. Expanded. Now the whole family is involved in it…despite complete evidence to the contrary. The truth was glaringly obvious.

“Thanks”giving

This was around Thanksgiving time. I had spoken to all family members asking them to stop all the toxic behavior. Now…for me…I was used to maltreatment. I grew up in that household. BUT…when they started in on my daughter…Mama Bear came out. You don’t touch my children. I will burn every bridge I have to…to protect my children. You will have to go through me before you get access to my kids. I will die…and/or you will die because I am not sacrificing my child to you.

Mama Bear was not backing down on this issue. My daughter…nor I…was at fault here. If I am at fault…Father spanks my rear end and makes me apologize. He has no problem taking the switch to my rear end. 🤨

My mother still wanted me to attend Thanksgiving dinner. Sitting at the table with people who have done nothing but lie about us, slander us, gossip about us, spread malice about us, etc.

I told her…I am not sitting at the table on Thanksgiving pretending like this family is healthy and happy. No “thanks” there.

What you are asking me to do is like this…

You are going to put a pile of manure on a platter…cover it with a layer of chocolate and want me to eat it and say it is yummy. Ooooh…smells so good and tastes so good.

NO. No thank you.

No apologies. No repentance. No changes on your side…no fellowship with this family.

We do real. We do apologies. We do forgiveness. We do growth. We do healthy. Can’t get unified with our way of living…that is fine…we are moving on without you.

Pedestals

See…this is what I have seen online and in the world. All these gurus…feeding you a pile of horse manure with a layer of chocolate on it. Then they want you to tell them and all their followers how yummy their pile of shit tastes and how good it smells. Clap for them. Tell them how wonderful they are. Tell them how smart they are. Congratulate them for being enlightened and for having gained some sort of self-power. Build that pedestal of support underneath them…because they aren’t secure. They need YOU to tell them they have value and worth and the bullshit they are feeding you has value.

Gross…just gross. 🤮

No thanks…you can eat it yourself if you feel it is just that good.

When you are secure in His truth…you don’t NEED someone to follow you…nor do you need someone to tell you how smart, powerful, beautiful, and wonderful you are. Your security comes from HIM…not from man…which includes yourself. You stand securely on the truth…Him…when your mind is renewed with His truth.

Let me be clear here…if someone professes to be a life coach, a healer, a self-help expert, etc…and they are not sharing Christ’s truth…they are a liar, and you need to steer clear of them. Self-empowerment is a pile of manure. If they are claiming to be enlightened and all that enlightenment happened WITHOUT Christ who IS the light…they are full of themselves. Literally.

Arrogant, prideful, and completely deceived about who they really are. They have put themselves…a mere man…on top of a pedestal. They think WAY too highly of themselves…and if they don’t step down off that pedestal…Father will break the supports holding their pedestal up. They will fall and it will be painful. Don’t follow them. They are the blind leading the blind. Leading His children to the slaughter. YOU to your slaughter. They will only lead you to your death. Hell.

Don’t follow them. Dismiss them from your life.

Renewal

Back to the pin. Remember earlier I said…put a pin in it?

Renewing the heart and mind with the truth. Christ. His words that are true.

For over 20 years, I have been doing inner healing…mind and heart renewal on myself…and on my clients.

The technique I have always used and been trained in…is TPM. Transformation Prayer Ministry. You can go online and check out their website if you want more information. Ed and Joshua have worked tirelessly over the years to get all the training and articles you need…uploaded onto the site for you to use…freely. When I started over twenty years ago, I had to purchase all the training.

Father wanted Ed to put it out there for free to give the people the ability to get the freedom they need without having to pay for the training. I would highly encourage you to support Ed and Joshua financially if you feel led. What they have and what they have done is priceless in value. More than our minds can comprehend.

I rarely use TPM on myself now…Father and I merely just converse, so when I say inner healing on self…current day…I am talking about cleaning up something in my mind that is false. It would also include my heart. They are connected spiritually speaking.

When I am doing inner healing with my clients…I am using TPM. It works. Truly…it transforms your life…in ways you can’t imagine unless you have experienced it first-hand. Each truth you receive from Him personally changes your lie-based belief system. It cleans it up. This process takes you from a toxic, sick, unclean individual to a healthy and clean individual. The more you do…the healthier your soul and spirit get.

Crazy wonderful process. Painful…but worth it.

TPM at Home

Vanessa calls me on occasion wanting me to do it with her over the phone. She always says to me…you are so good at this…that it is faster for me and less painful if you do it with me.

I am efficient. Thousands of hours of practice make it flow pretty quickly with me.

A few years ago, Hannah kept saying to me…ask Father for the shortcut to this. There has to be a shortcut.

She hates sitting still and trying to locate her emotions. In one session, she spent two hours working through stuff only to discover she was lazy. Exasperation. She was so upset. Such a simple thing to say and know but it took two hours of labor to get there. 😂

I did ask Father for the shortcut. He said it is me. At some point in time, I will be sharing truths here on this site that will bring healing to the masses. For the Hannahs out there who don’t have the time or don’t want to take the time…so they can still get set free. Get free from the bondage of the lies they believe.

I am working to move us in that direction.

So…let’s pull this all in a bit.

Healthy People

I want healthy people.  I want a healthy society…at least a community. In the near future, Father is going to separate the wheat from the tares here on Earth. He is going to draw a dividing line. It will soon become clear who is with Him and who is not with Him. Those who choose life…will need to become clean and healthy. That is part of the point and purpose of this blog. To equip those who choose to follow Him.

What does it take to make a healthy people?

It takes a whole lot of detoxing. People are sick, lame, broken, injured, poisoned, and toxic. In the days ahead…we will start the detox process. The inner healing process. Bringing the truth…to set people free. And the love and intimacy they need to heal the brokenhearted.

Let me share why inner healing is so important to me.

I have been married twice. Both men rejected me in the end. Only a handful of people at this point in time have not rejected me. I am a reject in mass. Rejected by the masses.

My first husband wanted nothing to do with Christ. I didn’t either when I first married him. Later I changed, and we went our separate ways.

My second husband was different. He started off with Christ, but his roots were not deep, and his plant died. The cares of this world choked him out and he decided obedience to Father was too much. The fire got too hot for him and he wanted out.

A Piece

I am going to share a piece of the puzzle of our marriage because it is important in understanding why I am as passionate as I am about mental health. Emotional health. Social health. Spiritual health. Financial health. Physical health. Etc.

My marriages are just one very small piece of my education…and the solidification of my desires for my dreams.

I want love and intimacy in the purest form I can achieve. Cleanliness.

To back up a bit…as a child…I watched my dad pursue women while married to my mother. It was an embarrassment to me. At 10, I decided I hated him…but it took me some time to come to that conclusion. It had been brewing in me for a while.

I got my love of photography from my dad. He always had a Polaroid with him. It rode in his truck wherever he went. At times, I would watch him taking pictures of women’s asses while they were bent over in the parking lot.

As a small child, I wondered why he couldn’t be happy and content looking at my mom. Why was it that my mom was not good enough for him? Why did he think the world was a buffet, and all women were there to rape and pillage in his mind and heart? I didn’t understand what was wrong with him.  

His lust for women destroyed our home. It destroyed our family. He brought death to us all. Devastated every single one of our hearts. He had no self-control. No care for his wife or his children. Didn’t think one thought about what his behavior was doing to us.

Dad’s Heart Change

Years later, Dad and I discussed some of his issues after he had a heart change. He admitted he was wrong, and he said he believed he was a narcissist. At that time, he felt no remorse whatsoever. He didn’t think he was doing anything wrong. My dad didn’t understand WHY he was behaving the way he was behaving.

My dad was enslaved. In bondage to his lie-based belief system that drove him to behave badly. His lie-based belief system…destroyed our family. Every single one of us was damaged in devastating ways. My dad…did not do the work emotionally, mentally, and spiritually to get the healing he needed…to get the truth about the man he really was inside. As a result, he chose death…daily…over and over and over again…sowing death…into himself, the people around him, and into me…his daughter. He injured his children’s hearts.

This is one reason why I began the inner healing journey over 20 years ago. I knew I was broken, and I didn’t want to stay broken. Also, I knew man didn’t have the solution for me. My parents had us all attend counseling. I knew as a child they had nothing to offer me. They only made my situation worse.

When Father gave me TPM…my world changed. All for the better.

Back to Marriage

In my second marriage, I am already years into doing inner healing on myself and others. My husband knew the positive impact I had on the people in my life. He did sit down with me twice in our 10-year marriage and do the inner healing process with me on a couple of his issues. He had great results. Got freedom and was good to go in that area. But he had a LOT of issues. Like we ALL do.

The people in my life…are used to how I roll. If I see you have an issue…at some point in time…I am going to point it out to you. The only time I hold my tongue is if Father says to wait. Then I speak it when He gives me permission.

I walk in truth, so I usually see the truth pretty clearly when it is standing in front of me. My kids know that.

In fact, when they have an issue, they don’t want to deal with…they will avoid me. They say…they know I know and they don’t want to face it yet. I am known to call them up and say…hey…Father says you got this going on and you are avoiding me because you don’t want to deal with it.

He just doesn’t let much slide in our family.

One day, the girls and I were hanging out at Hannah’s house. We were talking about issues. That was the topic of discussion. In our family…there are no secrets. If someone has an issue, everyone knows. If you are avoiding it, everyone encourages you to deal with it. We all become your accountability partners really quickly.

We desire a healthy functioning family. Not one that lies and hides like cockroaches in the dark.

Our Discussion

During this discussion at Hannah’s, I am washing dishes. Normal for me. I am the dishwasher for Hannah, Vanessa, and Bobbi. Vanessa made a comment about not knowing some of her issues. I turned around and said to her…do you want me to make you a list. 🤣

She said yes…yes, I do.

Hannah…miss dramatic…jumps up off the couch and starts waving her hands at Vanessa and I…yelling no. NO. Don’t do it.

We are all rolling now. Hannah says to Vanessa…I am just trying to spare you a lot of pain.

I have made Hannah lists before. She KNOWS experientially what my lists of emotional work entail for her.

This story is pertinent.

Growing up in my home…my kids had to do inner healing. It was not an option. It was required. We all have issues. In our home, we deal with them. I wanted healthy children…not just in their physical body, but their soul and spirit too.

My kids…know I know. They have experienced healing through my work with them.

Marriage Issues

In my marriage, we had an issue. My ex…didn’t want to do the mental, emotional, and spiritual work it took to have a healthy marriage with me.

Let’s go back to the list of what I want to build here in people. I want obedient people. People who are obedient to Father. That takes utilizing HIS strength. Not the strength within man. Man’s flesh can’t withstand Father’s work. It is impossible. It takes His strength to do His labor.

It also takes hard-working people to labor for Him. People who are not scared of their own shadow. People who have bravery…not cowards hiding in the corner.

Following Father takes an inner strength and bravery that can only come from Him. That means…in order to get that…you must endure the inner healing process.

Your default setting…is lies and deception. The lies and deception must be detoxed or cleaned out in order to carry His burden…His load. His call on your life. For real man. Not kidding here.

If your whole entire life is built on sand…lies and deception…you aren’t standing on the rock…the truth. You can’t stand strong and firm on the truth if you don’t have it.

The source of truth is not within man. He is the source of truth. Mind renewal through Christ is the way to freedom.

Destruction…Death

In my last marriage, I struggled horribly at times because my ex didn’t want the truth. He didn’t want to do the inner healing work it took to be able to stand on the truth…therefore he fell.

We couldn’t get anywhere together because I was following truth and he was content to stay behind standing on lies and deception.

Again…another false belief system that destroyed another marriage for me. Another relationship down the tubes all because a man was not willing to do the work. Not willing to be brave. Not willing to think of others outside of him.

To be honest…I am tired of cowards. I am tired of sick people whining and complaining they are sick but won’t do the work it takes within their hearts and minds to get well. I am tired of hearing people who claim to be all about mental health and wellness, and all they are is a sham. Scamming the people with their live your best life now bullshit and do what you love to do. People who are self-absorbed and refuse to look in the mirror at the monster they really are. I am tired of disobedient people running around living however they please. Doing whatever makes them happy while destroying lives wherever they go. Bringing nothing but death and destruction to the people they claim to love. I am tired of liars lying and not being exposed for the scams they are.

I am tired of the toxicity in people’s hearts and minds…which impacts EVERYONE around them. Agents of death bringing death to the people.

I want something different for this world. I want life. Healthy people. Healthy relationships. Healthy marriages. Healthy families. Healthy children.

I want the brave, strong, obedient people to show up who aren’t afraid to do the hard mental, emotional, and spiritual work it takes to bring healing in their own world…but to also bring healing to this world.

People need the truth, and they are so clueless as to why. I am tired of mankind rejecting the truth…which is the ONLY solution to their every problem.

My dream is for people to accept the truth. Love the truth. Embrace the truth. And let the truth set them free and change their lives. To bring health and wholeness to each individual and to this Earth. For relationships to become healthy so we can have a healthy family. A covenant community in His truth. Love and intimacy through the truth.