Recently, Father said to me…you will eat at the King’s Table. What is mine is yours…what is yours is mine. Comforting words for me.
In this post, I am going to share a bit about what is happening in my life. My granddaughter…almost on a daily basis asks me…what happened. It is the cutest thing. I am so in love with little Esmeralda Ray.
Through the middle of the night last night…I was little Esme…asking Father…what happened. What is happening?
I will get into that in a moment, but first, I want to share about the pictures in this post.
Taproot Cider House
This summer on a trip to Traverse City, Michigan, we had lunch at Taproot Cider House. The featured image is a photo of my lunch. I think it was called Chicken Divine…something like that. MAN…it was delish!!!!!
Super cool how it went down. One of our destinations in town was the crystal shop. We wanted to check out the rocks/gems/crystals. Bobbi and I parked directly across from Taproot. As we walked to meet Vanessa at her parking location, I noticed the outside seating decor. LOVED it. All natural stuff. I was attracted to it. Drawn to the place. I checked out their menu quickly in passing because it looked like a place I could eat at.
I made a mental note for a lunch location even though I knew Vanessa had been talking about a place she had chosen. We have picky diets, so she does her research beforehand.
When we were done buying crystals, Vanessa was trying to locate the restaurant she had picked out for us on her map. She was struggling. I asked her what the name of the place was because I thought I had one we could eat at.
She comes back with Taproot Cider House. 😂
A big ole smile lit up on my face. I said…follow me cuz I know right where that is at. It is the location I had picked out for us.
Isn’t that great!!! I love it when Father does that. So much fun living like this at times.
Hannah always loved traveling with me because she said everything went so smoothly because I followed Father step by step. If any issues arose, He would just resolve them for me as I asked Him what to do. Traveling with Father is the best!!!
Ladies in Waiting
The pictures are of my ladies-in-waiting minus Hannah who made a trip to MI with me at a different time.
I want to say again…just how much I appreciate these women. I could not have made it through this season of my life without them. Father gave them to me as a gift. A gift I cherish. Truly.
To these women and my sons…I say what is mine is yours. They have my heart…thus they get to reap the benefits of what Father gives to me.
My desire is to bless them beyond what they can imagine for walking through this with me. They have earned everything I give them.
Pain
I know pain. Unimaginable pain. Physically. Emotionally. Spiritually. Every kind of pain you can have…I have experienced it in great measures. Let me just share a bit…it is relevant to set the stage here.
I have been raped. I feel it is necessary to point something out here. Being raped is painful in all three bodies. It is painful emotionally and spiritually…but also physically because having a penis shoved into a dry vagina causes ripping and tearing. The whole experience is traumatic, violating, and comes with much pain.
I have been molested by a number of men. Been sexually harassed by men. Been abused by men…physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Pain in all three bodies once again.
I have had dental cavities drilled without Novocaine for numbing. Not a pleasant experience…but doable.
I have broken, shattered, and chipped bones in my body. Torn ligaments, sprained and strained tissues. Had a number of surgeries in my life.
More Pain
When I was pregnant with Mitchell, we found a breast lump. My OB/GYN wanted it out, and she wasn’t willing to wait until after I delivered my son to have the surgery. We did local numbing shots instead of putting me under general anesthesia. During the procedure, I could feel the laser burning through my breast. All I could get out…was “FIRE.” Thankfully, the nurse knew I was feeling the pain. She made the doctor stop and give me more numbing. In recovery, she shared with me her horror when she realized I could feel the laser burning me.
I have been through two kidney stones now. Giving birth to my natural babies, I did this with no epidural…did er all natural. Didn’t cry. Scream. Didn’t puke…quietly gave birth to those babies. Three natural births…didn’t compare to the pain of passing my first kidney stone. I cried. I screamed. That was severe pain…again…no pain meds.
The second kidney stone…had TWO Lithotripsies done to bust it up because it was too large to pass. Catered a wedding reception while pushing through the pain of that baby grinding in my kidney. After I finished cleaning up the reception around midnight, I headed to the ER to find out it was impassable. Discovered I was dehydrated which was why my urine was blood red and the pain was so bad. Got an IV and I was good to go until the procedure. The doctor could not understand why I didn’t take the pain meds. I told him…the IV made it bearable again. No need. I can handle the level I am currently at. 🤷♀️
STD
My first husband cheated on me multiple times and gave me HPV. When my doctor saw my cervix, she was concerned I had cervical cancer, so I had to do a Colposcopy and biopsy. I remember during the procedure having to spread my legs on the stirrups. My vagina was spread open for all the world to see out the window.
It was a picture for me of how ashamed, dirty, and worthless I felt. The physical pain didn’t even come close to the pain of the heart knowing my husband didn’t care about the devastation he had caused me in all three bodies.
I have been through two thyroid storms due to my Hashimoto’s.
Hell
As I have previously mentioned on this blog, Father chained me in Hell for five years. Those five years of my life…were hands down the most painful experience of my life. I wanted to be dead instead. To me…death would have been preferable.
I made it through that season. For the last year, I have been healing from the trauma and torment I experienced while there.
These are just a few of the situations I feel led to share that have brought pain into my life. I have a high pain tolerance. He created me that way. Jury is still deliberating on whether that is a blessing or a curse. 🤷♀️
I share this because when I say I KNOW pain…I am not blowing smoke up your ass. I am not exaggerating AT ALL. My life has been defined by pain…and working through the pain.
Birthing Christ
Birthing Christ…through my spiritual womb…has been the most painful thing I have ever experienced. Hands down. No joke.
I am nearing delivery. He has taken me out of neutral and into overdrive.
Last night, I was writhing in pain. Sleep was impossible. I thought my heart was going to explode from the pain. Breathing was a struggle. I have never in my 52 years experienced pain like that.
I have been working hard…laboring for 30-plus years for the truth. The last six years…excruciating. The last week…unbelievable. I am not there yet. 😧 🤦♀️
Vanessa and Bobbi have helped me through it. They have spent hours helping me sort through the mess. This morning, Vanessa spent four hours on the phone with me until I could get some peace. The battle is horrendous.
During this time, I have been working on a blog post. It is the longest one I have written to date. It is about the times we are moving into. As I write, the contractions in my heart begin again.
I sound crazy and I live in the Twilight Zone 24/7.
What else can I say about that? 🤷♀️
Truth
I am so close to having the truth…the whole truth…and nothing but the truth.
Years of work…years of waiting for the completion to happen.
I am anxious to finish the post I am working on. The revelation of Revelation and our current and future times…is starting to encourage me. It is bringing me to completion.
Father has promised me shock and awe. I am holding Him to His promises. He wants me to enjoy the show He is going to put on for me. I am starting to believe now that I will. It is going to be a doozy. “Shock and awe” is an understatement. I am hoping to be BLOWN AWAY at what He does. I have always told Him…I want a front-row seat and popcorn to eat.
There ya go…now you know what is happening in my life currently. Not a fun trip right now, but the delivery will be awesome. My crowing moment. 👑 👸