I took a long walk early this morning in the fog. For some reason, I was keenly aware of all things nature. More than normal. I startled some deer, and I could hear their feet making this squishing sound in the muddy prairie grass as they jumped up and ran. I was mesmerized by the turkeys gobbling in the woods…I have been seeing a large flock each day. Yesterday’s group had almost thirty in it.
When I got to the edge of the woods, I heard the water droplets hitting the ground from all the moisture on the trees. It lulled me into the woods. Love that sound. So pretty up against the silence. Such a soft song as they all kind of drop at different times.
I started to play around with my iPhone camera to get a few shots. I liked the trees in the featured image. They reminded me of Scotland and Ireland. I have dreamed of going there for years. Going to get there someday.
The fog was wonderful. I could feel it you know.
Wedding
Funny how Father works.
It reminded me of my second wedding. We hiked to the top of a mountain to get married. I wanted it to be a private affair. Just the two of us with Father. We wrote our vows and found a beautiful spot on the summit to share them. On the way up the mountain, we took the difficult trail. On the way down, we took the moderate trail. While on the summit, we stayed at the lodge. No running water. No electricity. Only a few cabins for those who want to hike to the summit.
Through the night, it rained. By morning, it had stopped. I will never forget the hike down because we were in the clouds at the higher elevation. It was one of the coolest experiences I have ever had. Sometimes, I would just stop, stand, and watch the cloud move through me and past me…while another one came through. A magical experience. Walking out of them into the sun was just as magical.
Beauty
Father then led me to a discussion on Bobbi and Mitchell. Their relationship. Their wedding. It is beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.
They both agreed they wanted to wait for sex until marriage. It was a commitment. It was also a workout for they lived together for at least a year or more before they got married. I am in awe of my son’s self-control. In AWE. His manhood…wow.
Father usually keeps me in the loop about what my kiddos are doing in the world. He had shown me Mitchell was honorable and protecting that space in life.
Then one day, Father was telling me it was time for them to get married and consummate it. My son had waited long enough. He needed satisfaction. I shared it with Bobbi…telling her…it was time to get married and have sex. She was concerned about the wedding. She was saving the money for it but didn’t have the money yet.
I called Mitchell. Had one of my “lectures” with him. 🤨
It is the first “lecture” he has been excited about at the end. I told him…you need to have sex. It is time to get married. He shared Bobbi’s same concern. I told him…you don’t need to have a preacher marry you to get married. I reminded him of my wedding and how it is Father who joins us together. Continuing my advice, I said…write your vows…find a place, and share them. Exchange your rings and then consummate the covenant. You are now joined together by Father. Then when you have the money…have the “wedding” so the state will recognize it and everyone can celebrate with you.
He was on board with it. 100%.
Bobbi later told me after he shared my advice with her, he smirked at her and said…you are always saying I should listen to my mother. 😂 The fam thinks it is funny.
My Marriage
Obviously, He had marriage on His mind today for us to discuss. I have been mulling it over.
For five years, I have been saying to Him…I don’t want to be a prostitute for you. Not a fan man. Not a fan.
Tonight, I had this epiphany. This is a MAJOR breakthrough for me. I don’t want to be a prostitute for Him…I want to be His wife.
Yep…I just said that…I want to be married.
No one but maybe Vanessa could understand how significant of a statement that is.
The first year into my second marriage…I said I was NEVER getting married again. NOT doing it.
I have fought and kicked and screamed and cussed and discussed this with Him for years now. Tonight, I submitted my heart.
He reminded me that in 7th grade after a career day, I came home and climbed on my bicycle to take a spin around the town. Population 90. SMALL town. While on that bicycle, I was thinking about this notion…I should know what career I should have years in the future. Gotta plan for college ya know. 🤨
The only thing I could come up with that I wanted to be…was a wife and a mother.
I wanted to love and be loved. By my husband and by my children. I wanted to build a healthy family. Something I didn’t have.
I am saying to Him…I want you to make me an honest woman. I have been prostituting myself out to give you intimacy…now make me your wife.
Amazing how different my heart feels now. His ways are so strange. Baffling how powerful His truth can be. It changes you in such a positive way.
There ya go…now we all know. I think He is having me blog it to document the momentous occasion. He has it in writing now. 🤣