Disclaimer…this is going to be VERY long. I have a LOT of words to use. Many pieces to this puzzle in order to form the picture we see.
For some time now…Father has been saying…write your story. He has said that through four different people and a few of them are on repeat. 😜 They have said it to me multiple times now.
I used to have issues about writing “my” story. After years of inner healing on those issues…I feel rather neutral about “my” story. For at least twenty years, I have known I would share my life with the masses. Lots of reasons why I always told Him…that is not a good idea. Seemed like a rather ugly story to me. He says it is the most beautiful love story ever written.
My response…well…I need a happily ever after ending first. My “story” isn’t complete yet. SO…let’s be getting to the ending dear…cuz I am not seeing the beauty on your side yet. Reciprocity…I need reciprocity Mr. 🤷♀️
Introduction
To me…this post is just a very tiny introduction to a part of that story. A pretty part…in my opinion. At least…pretty on my side.
Lately, I have been asking Father a group of questions. He promised me a year or so ago…that when all of this was over…I would understand it all. ALL my questions would be answered. I have a LOT of questions for Him about the last six years.
Five of those years were spent chained in Hell. A portion of those years overlapped with me wandering around in the Wilderness. Also…many other layers to those years…too much to explain here. The piling up of layers of negativity was mind-boggling to me…and also to my family. As I have said before, the fire took many out during this time. The persecution, the hatred, the false accusations against me…unbelievable. The burden…unbearable. Nearly took me out on a daily basis. The fight to stay alive and live was exhausting.
Before I entered this season…He said to me…you are getting ready to go into a period of persecution…handle it with grace. Be a classy lady.
I hope I have obeyed Him to His standard.
Questions
Here are a few of the questions I have been asking recently.
- What have I done?
- Where have I been?
- Where am I currently at?
- What am I doing now?
- Where am I going?
- What are we going to do?
- Who am I?
- Who am I to you?
As I have ALWAYS been…I ask these on repeat until I get the answers I need. I beat on the door knocking for truth.
He has been answering those questions for me. Always layers. ALWAYS layers to everything…so the answers are multi-faceted. Many layers to each of these answers.
One tiny answer…one small pixel to the questions…where have I been and what have I done…I have been preparing you.
Wow…so underwhelming to me. I kind of knew that already. However, this time I got a tiny smidgeon of a different understanding of it. With that…I could move forward with a measure of satisfaction since it was combined with other answers.
This blog post is a very small pixel of the answer to who am I. Who am I to Him?
Excited to teach her and see her grow into the woman she was created to be.
A long journey ahead of us. Looking forward to our future together. 💙
Motherhood
When I was in 7th or 8th grade, our school had a “preparing for your future day.” We got this big spiel about college and how important it was to our future. They were selling the concept that as children…we need to be thinking about our future and planning our lives out to be who we wanted to be. I will never forget that day. Although I was just a child, I wasn’t buying what the masses were selling.
Intuitively and because of Holy Spirit…I knew this kind of thinking was off in some way. Today…it is clearer to me…that is the way of man. The flesh of man. Man decides what man wants to do and who man wants to be.
I remember getting off the bus that day and hopping onto my bicycle. I grew up in a small town…population 90. We had one stop sign. While riding my bicycle around town, I meditated on what the preachers had preached at school that day.
I seriously searched out in my mind what I wanted to “be” and what I wanted to “do” with my life in the future. In hindsight, I KNOW it was Holy Spirit leading that discussion in my mind that afternoon.
My conclusion…all I ever wanted to be and do…was to be a wife and a mother.
I had zero desire to go to college. Zero desire to be “successful” and make something of myself for myself or for anyone else.
The only thought that made me happy was to be married and have children. Love and intimacy…that was my heart. I wanted to build a family.
Vanessa and Hannah
Fast forward many years.
I believe I have shared a bit of the story of Vanessa and I on this blog. Let me just recap. It is pertinent here.
When Vanessa and Donovan first started dating, Father said to me…Vanessa will become homeless. When she does…I want you to take her in and become her mother.
That happened. One night around 10 or 11 at night, Donovan called crying. He could hear a physical altercation happening on the other side of the door and he couldn’t help Vanessa. He was feeling powerless to save her. Traumatized by what he had just gone through. Vanessa emerged homeless…again.
I knew when I answered the phone and heard my son’s voice…this was the moment Vanessa was homeless. He didn’t know what to do. I merely said…bring her home son. He did.
She became my daughter that night. She was my daughter long before she was my daughter-in-law.
Fast forward in time, Donovan and Vanessa got married and moved into a mobile home a friend of mine had given me.
Shortly after that…they became the guardians of a bouncing high school teenager…Hannah.
After getting nowhere with child services, the three hatched an escape plan. Hannah packed her belongings and shoved them out the window while Donovan and Vanessa carried her stuff to the vehicle. Hannah walked out the front door…never to return.
Mom
Since Donovan and Vanessa were still young…mom stepped in to help with Hannah. It was a family affair.
Over time, Hannah slowly started to trust me as a mother like Vanessa had.
Hannah once said to me…I was always looking for my mother. She would meet an older woman and think to herself…are you my mother.
This is a tiny part of how I unofficially adopted the first of my “adopted” daughters. Bobbi was added years later, and the family just keeps growing. 😍
In the future, I will be sharing Hannah’s story. It is a very difficult story because the journey has been difficult for her. The girls came to me with LOTS of baggage to unpack. Vanessa has unpacked most of it. Super proud of her…she has been working hard. She is a laborer who has built much with Father.
Hannah has struggled. Greatly.
A Picture of The Bride
Before I share her story, we are going to do the inner healing in her necessary for her to be 100% peaceful about the world knowing her journey.
It is part of her destiny.
As my star pupil…she is a picture of The Bride of Christ. A depiction of the state of where the Bride is…has been. Hannah’s journey forward will be a light for The Bride to see change is possible. Father can restore and rebuild. He can make beauty out of ashes. Not only is Hannah/The Bride to become a humble student sitting at the feet of Christ to learn the truth………the pupil of my eyes will see a star emerge. A bright shining light. A city on a hill.
Exciting days ahead for this momma. As the Mother of the Bride, I am looking forward to the growth in Hannah…the Bride…and seeing the One New Man emerge on neutral and common ground.
Journals
As you see in the pictures above, when Mitchell was in high school, he bought me a leather-bound journal. I know Father led him to buy this because I have never been a journal-type of gal. I have taken notes for many years. When Father spoke, I wrote it down…but that was always on legal pad paper that was later filed into three-ring binders. This little journal was out of place for my character.
To me…the thing was kind of sacred. I felt like…whatever I wrote in this book…had to be as equally sacred. Holy…set apart. Special. I wasn’t going to write in it…until I knew what I was supposed to write in it.
Fast forward years…always waiting for what to put in it. Put a pin in that. We will come back to it.
Father has been having me frequent a local store that is a pagan stronghold. They sell a multitude of pagan items along with offering psychic readings. A couple of the girls that work there…I just love. I always enjoy chatting with the young women. They are a wealth of knowledge regarding all things pagan.
Lately, Father has been having me purchase a number of items from this store. I will enlighten you as to why later in this post. SUPER COOL!! So much fun!!
Who I Am
Recently, He had me stop in there and purchase several items. One item was the second journal in the photo above right next to the one Mitchell purchased for me. I will share about it later. For now…I want to share about the journal Mitchell purchased for me. As I was asking Father what to write in the Tree of Life journal, I also asked about Mitchell’s journal. I felt like…rightly so…the two were tied together…connected.
The journal Mitchell purchased me for Mother’s Day was to be dedicated to the question…who am I. I am filling that journal with the different aspects of who I am. The different titles I have…the hats I wear. Father says it is a picture book. A picture of the woman I am. Love this so much! It is encouraging me somehow to build this journal. Amplifying to me…who I really am…in such a positive way. 💙
Dyslexia
I am going to take us back down memory lane for a moment. This piece of the puzzle is important to this picture. It shows you how a foundation of truth was laid by Father in my heart and mind MANY years ago. With this story…you will understand my mindset and heart set when I share with you about a conversation I have been having regarding Hannah. First, I feel I must share this story about Donovan.
Donovan didn’t learn to read until the age of ten. I began homeschooling my oldest daughter at the age of three. Long story. I had no intention of homeschooling, but Father most certainly had every intention of me homeschooling His children. I tried to retire, but I will still be homeschooling the Bride long after I am dead and gone. 🤷♀️ He wins.
My oldest daughter was reading at the age of four…and reading well. Since teaching her phonics was super easy…I had the mindset teaching number two would be easy too. WRONG!
Turns out…Donovan would have been labeled Dyslexic had he been placed in the public system of education. After years of struggling to get him to understand phonics, I was at my wit’s end. So was he. Tears were shed by both of us through those years.
One day when I was on my knees…nose in the carpet…begging Father to help me with this issue…He spanked my ass. Hard. WOWSER BOWSER MAN!!!!! It was a PAINFUL spanking. Such a great lesson though…one I have NEVER forgotten.
My Problem
This is what He said…here is YOUR problem. YOU arrogantly think YOU taught your daughter to read. You did NOT. I DID.
OUCH!!!!!!!
Immediately, I humbled myself and agreed with Him. Admitted He was right, and I was wrong. He was the Teacher, and I was the student. He was the Creator, designer, and engineer, and I knew nothing.
Once I got in line with His thinking, then I said this to Him. Since you created this child…and you designed HOW he is to learn…then show me how to teach him to read. Show me the reading program you created for him to learn how to read.
Now that I am humble…He lays out the program…step by step. I followed the program for two years straight and by the end…the boy could read with NO signs of dyslexia at all. Sailed through high school. Grew a successful business…selling it years later at a nice profit. Super smart man.
Learning Styles
Father gave me three biological children with all three having different learning styles. This taught me…how to teach in a much more well-rounded way.
Through Father, I learned Dyslexia is not a learning defect. It is how Father created that child’s mind to think and work. When a child is struggling to learn…it isn’t the child’s fault…it is the teacher’s problem for not teaching how that specific child was created and designed to learn. (Barring any physical brain abnormalities, obviously.) This is one problem in the mass education system…the teachers can’t pursue how to teach every single child how they were created to learn. There isn’t enough time for a teacher to do that for each student. Even in the home education world…if a parent isn’t pursuing the Creator and Designer of that child, learning “disabilities” are going to be a roadblock. The Creator, Designer, and Engineer expects you to ask Him for the blueprint for His children’s learning program.
A very important lesson I learned when Donovan was a young child.
Also, as part of that lesson…not only is the source of education outside of me…but also the source of truth.
Hannah…The Bride
Let’s go back to Hannah and The Bride. Now you have a small bit of the foundation where my head and heart are at regarding teaching. 100%…I get who the Creator, Designer, Engineer, Architect, Mathematician, Scientist, Musician, Historian, Linguist, etc. IS. It is Him. See?
With that clear understanding…from an experiential point of view…I began a conversation with Father about Hannah…BUT also The Bride. If I am to set both free and bring healing to them…He has to show me how to do that. I clearly understand that is NOT a work of my flesh or any person’s flesh…that is a work of His Spirit. Spiritual transformation is only done through His Spirit. Spiritual matters can only be discerned by the same spirit. Him. Holy Spirit. Your carnal mind…the mind of the flesh can’t understand the Spirit. Only His Spirit can understand Him. This is why we need to utilize His Spirit…through our spirit man…to understand and know Him.
As always…when I am working with someone…I seek Him. They are His child. He created them so only He knows them intimately. They do not know themselves because we as fallen people hide the truth from ourselves. This is why intimacy with self is so important. Most people are not intimate with self…so when I work with someone to bring healing…I go to the only source that does KNOW what lies within a man…Him.
The conversation went something like this.
Father…I can’t SEE inside Hannah’s heart…her mind…her soul…her spirit…her body. Same with the Bride. I can’t help them…if you don’t give me the homeschooling curriculum to teach them. I can’t set them free if you don’t show me how to set them free. Etc…
All-Knowing
For years, I have been telling Father…I want ALL knowledge. A.L.L.
Now…to mankind that sounds crazy…and impossible. However, Father says to me…all things are possible through Christ. SO…I KNOW through Christ…it is possible for me.
In addition to this, FOR YEARS, I have said to Him…if the things I am asking for…are not written in my book of life to have…then take these desires out of my heart and mind. He ALWAYS does that for me when I approach Him with that mindset…and that attitude in my heart. ALWAYS.
My take…I am NOT going to waste my time asking Him to give me something I will NEVER receive. That is foolish…ignorant…pointless, and a complete waste of both my time and His.
This conversation happened again last week one night. Seeking Him for all knowledge…along with understanding.
I have been saying…I don’t want to just eat from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil…but also from the Tree of Life as well. I want all knowledge of all truth, both good and evil…all understanding…and all power and authority to go along with it. All. I want it all. 100%. Don’t leave anything out.
To deliver the people…to bring healing on a massive scale…these things and others I have been also asking for…for many years…are necessary. Must haves…not options…for a multitude of reasons. Too much to type here.
That was part of a conversation one evening again…before bed.
Drug Abuse
Another piece of the puzzle.
In my teen and early adult years, I used and abused alcohol. During that time, a friend and I were groupies of a local rock band. They had mastered the song Man in the Box by Alice in Chains. It was one of their best songs and I loved this song. I had no clue why this song spoke to me so powerfully back then as I was not in a relationship with Christ at the time, obviously. 🤷♀️
Today…I do. For years now, Father and I have been discussing addiction. The different types of drug addiction. When I speak of drug addiction, I mean more than being addicted to a physical chemical you consume through your physical body.
I am also referring to ANY kind of solution you use and abuse…consuming in some way…to avoid dealing with your shit. Your emotional and spiritual toxicity. Everyone on this planet is a drug addict. Using and abusing something(s) and/or someone(s) (plural) is the nature of mankind. The flesh of man. The carnal mind. Most people use a cocktail of drugs daily.
Drugs
It could be real physical…chemicals that alter the state of mind to numb yourself to the emotional and spiritual pain you are in. It could be a variety of other things. Let me give you a list.
- TV
- Social media
- Pornography of all types
- All types of sexual immorality, including hookups which are prostitution.
- Food
- Music
- Hunting
- Fishing
- Boating
- Sports
- Church
- Religion
- Work
- Relationships
The list is endless. We use and abuse people and things to comfort ourselves because we don’t know what to do with the pain. We run to things and mankind for comfort instead of Holy Spirit who was given to us as a gift to be our Comforter. The pain is a gift to send us to Holy Spirit who will point us to Christ who will point us to Father. See?
If you go to anyone or anything to get comfort outside of Holy Spirit…you are using and abusing and that is sin. Disobedience. You will not get comfort outside of the One True Comforter. Anything else…is not true comfort…and comfort that lasts eternally.
Man in the Box
Father has been singing this song to me off and on for years now as we have been discussing the state of the world…and the Bride. The state of man’s addiction to the cocktail of drugs they have been using and abusing. False gods they have been bowing down to. Idols they have been idolizing. Strong towers they run to in times of discomfort and pain. Places to stay busy in. Strongholds in their lives. Solutions they falsely believe will bring them a measure of relief.
For me…this song is a powerful depiction of the issues of drug abuse. Layne’s death from a drug overdose really packs an additional punch to the power of addiction behind the lyrics. If you watch the video, the ending shot of his eyes sewn shut is a strong image of how the enemy sews the eyes shut of mankind so they can’t see their Maker. They deny the very one who can open the eyes of their spirit man to see the truth…so they can be set free…delivered and saved from their pain and additions.
Darkness
The truth they run and hide from is the very truth that will save them and set them free. He is their Deliverer and Savior. He alone can set them free.
I would encourage you to watch the video, listen to the lyrics, and ask Holy Spirit to teach you the truth through this song. It shows the state The Bride is in…darkness…trapped in a box. She is trapped inside many boxes…many systems run by the Prince of Darkness. She can’t see the truth about the state of the darkness she is trapped in.
I want to be clear about Hannah here. She may be trapped in darkness…but she is not using drugs as in chemicals we put in our bodies. Don’t want anyone to assume wrongly here about her.
Morning Shower
The conversation I was talking about earlier…regarding asking Father to tell me how to help Hannah…and The Bride…to bring freedom and healing for them… resumed when I woke up the next morning. He started singing Man in the Box again to me. It reminds me of Heathens…by Twenty One Pilots. Love that song. Father used to sing that song to me a lot…years ago…pouring compassion into me regarding the lost, the broken-hearted, and the skittish.
I said to Him again…I need ALL knowledge to do the task you have asked me to do. I can NOT do it without the things I have asked for. Like Moses…I am not leading unless you go with me. Unless you equip me with what I am asking for…get someone else…cuz I am not your gal if you can’t do this for me.
The image I saw was a brain on top of my brain. I had been saying to Him…I need a higher brain function than what my pea brain can do on its own. He reminded me of conversations we had years ago. In them, He said…you have the mind of Christ and the heart of David. Also…He created my mind to be His container of Truth.
I had no idea what I would have to endure in order for my mind to become clean enough and purified enough to hold His truth. Completely clueless. A complete rewiring. Excruciatingly painful. Pain beyond imagination.
BUT…I did the work…so I am expecting the payoff.
Stick a pin in this…this concept of a higher mind. A mind above and outside of my own mind…what I have been asking for…for many years now.
Purchases
Let’s go back to me saying Father has had me frequenting a local pagan stronghold lately. I have been having a blast going there and chatting with these two young women. I love them both…so very much.
After I got out of the shower, Father had me make another trip to the store. When in the store previously, I had noticed a Tree of Life wooden decoration hanging. Father put a pin there in my mind. He highlighted for future reference.
When driving to the store, He was reminding me of that decoration. I wasn’t sure if He was saying to buy it or what??? When I get to the store, I pull it down off the wall and set it on the counter. I asked Lexy and Kenn…do you have any other Tree of Life stuff? I just wasn’t 100% sold in my spirit on the decoration but I knew it was a starting point. Father wanted me to have something related to the Tree of Life.
Kenn jumps up and says…we have a Tree of Life in the Chakras.
I am clueless about the Chakra thing. There were several trees with one stone only. All amethyst or all sodalite. Then we land on a tree with all seven Chakras. Bingo! I knew that was the one, so I put the wooden Tree of Life back on the wall and set the new Chakra Tree of Life on the counter by Lexy.
I was PUMPED!
Journal
Then Kenn says…we also have a Tree of Life in our books. The one you saw in the photo earlier of the two journals.
She opens it up and I am asking Father…do you want me to get this too?
On the front is the Tree of Life while on the back is a Celtic knot representing love. Lexy and I discussed this in detail. When I saw the pages, I knew Father wanted me to get it. I instantly KNEW…He is the Ancient of Days and the recycled pages spoke this concept of Him to me through the coloring, the texture, and the shape of them.
Lexy said to me in a fun manner…we are book whores. She and Kenn pulled out of their bags, their books. Each of them spent some time showing me the inside and outside of their books. It was great as it gave me a visual image of how they were using their books. Father put a pin in that for me for later reference.
I had NO clue what Father was going to have me write in my new book…but I was excited to learn. Put a pin in this…we will come back to it in a moment.
When I decided on the two items for the Tree of Life, I asked Father…is there anything else in this store you want me to get?
When Malia was here, she bought a dagger. Super cool and Father put a pin in it for me.
The Dagger
He took me to the daggers I had looked at previously. Lexy, Kenn, and I discussed the goddess on the dagger and shield. Who she is…what she represents.
I knew Father wanted me to get the dagger…even though I was still unsure as to why. It felt like it was my weapon…smaller than a sword…more readily available and easier to use for a woman.
I bought it along with the two Tree of Life items.
With my purchases, I headed to the park.
The Park
Our family has a certain park we like to hang out at. We go there often with our blankets and food. Picnics are fun for us. Naps happen there on occasion too while taking in the sun. It is a very peaceful place for us. We usually park ourselves away from the popular public areas of the park, so we are alone. We love nature and being outside. It works for us.
That being said…I work best with Father…outside in nature. I feel more connected to Him outside.
While at the park, I pulled out my Bible which is in 4 three-ring binders. I printed it out in large format so it can hold my notes better. Works for me.
Cleansing and Dedication
With the Bible open on the table, I laid each of my new purchases one at a time on my Bible. I got out my Selenite heart stone and my stones which represent truth. With those in my hands, I laid hands on my purchases and cleansed them of any darkness that may be attached to them. After cleansing them of darkness, I dedicated each of them to the Kingdom of Light…to the Truth. To be vessels for His Truth. I did this to the front and back of my Tree of Life book. Then I opened up the pages and laid them flat on top of my Bible pages to incorporate the inner cleansing of the book.
When I was done with my cleansing and dedication ceremony, I asked Father what He wanted me to do next. Always asking…what is the next step. This is a walk. I walk by His Spirit…with the moon under my feet. It is how I roll. One step at a time…always following His Spirit’s leadership. Most of the time, I say it this way…Holy Spirit…take me by the hand and lead me to the Truth. Lead me to where I need to go.
His response to me this time was to study the Chakras.
Ok.
Chakras
I pull out my laptop and start googling. Using OneNote, I took some notes on the seven Chakras which are on my new Tree of Life purchase. I want to understand what Father is saying to me.
As I am studying, He had me start with the seventh Chakra first. Very odd but I obeyed. Working my way backward, I am looking at each Chakra…what man says it represents, the color it has with it, the stone, the element, etc. I am nearing the end of my time at the park about the same time I am nearing the end of my study of the Chakras. I had an inner healing appointment for that evening, and I needed to leave soon to meet my client. The last Chakra came up…the first one. The crown. When I read what it stood for…I was gobsmacked. It stands for divine consciousness. Now…that is a no-brainer, right? I have been around this religion enough to already know that, but I had forgotten that point.
The fact this crown chakra sits on top of the head as a crown and represents a higher brain just blew my mind at that moment because that is EXACTLY what I have been asking Father for…for oodles of years. How he brought that together at that moment piggybacking…tying into all our discussions…blew me away.
Vanessa’s Frustration
Before I share what Father said to me about this chakra crown…I want to share a conversation Vanessa and I had recently about my desire to be all-knowing and also the crown. It is amazing how Father works. Simply AMAZING.
While Vanessa and I were conversing, she was sharing with me her frustration that I doubt myself as I do. I doubt who I am and what I contribute to people in my life.
She said to me…I literally would not be me if it weren’t for you. Donovan would not be him if it weren’t for you. We would not have gotten married and then also stayed married if it were not for you.
Now…that is all truth. I KNOW that experientially because I have worked extensively with both as individuals and as a married couple doing inner healing bringing health and maturity to them. When they were here recently, I did inner healing with Vanessa when she got triggered about something and it turned into a marriage counseling session.
It was one of the most beautiful moments I have experienced in my life. Their marriage is beautiful and I get to take credit for part of that because of the extensive work I have done with both over the years. When Vanessa says she is frustrated I doubt myself…I get where she is coming from. She is a product of my work. Her beautiful marriage is a product of my work. She is right about that.
My response to her was this. I hear you and I understand your frustration. BUT…Father has told me the restoration has begun. I have spent (as she knows very well) five years chained in Hell and part of that overlaps me wandering around in the Wilderness…on top of everything else. What Satan stole from me…he will be made to pay it back. I will be restored in full.
Meaning…at some point in time…future tense…I will no longer doubt. Right now…I am gun-shy still. Vanessa understood.
On a side note, after this…I went on to educate her about not walking in a victim spirit. Holding onto the mindset that we are a victim 24/7. More on that in another post at a later time. Just can’t move on without making that point. When someone does cause us damage, it is up to us to repair it with Christ.
Crown
During this conversation, I explained to Vanessa…I can’t do what Father is asking me to do without the equipping of the things I am asking for. Those things seem WAY out there to people which is why for years, I haven’t shared them with people. 🤣 I am a sane woman with smarticles. I KNOW I sound delusional and crazy. Why would I put myself out there to receive that kind of derision? I am smarter than that. The only reason I am on this blog…obedience to my King. I obey…no matter what it costs me…always.
Think of Leah and Rachel…Jacob’s wives. Leah was the unloved one. Rachel…he loved. So far, I have been a picture of Leah in my life. An unloved woman. Not only unloved…but hated. I have been forced out of more than one church. Christians do not like me. I get along better with the pagans in this world. They are far less condemning of me. One of the reasons I love pagans so much is because of their tolerance and acceptance. Most generally Christians who are truly religious…walk in the religious spirit who brings judgment and condemnation onto the heads of the people. I get it…I used to be one of them…but I got out from under the headship of that legalistic spirit. He is not my friend. Not yours either. I avoid him these days. Not a fan of him.
In the future, I will become a picture of Rachel…dearly loved. I look forward to walking into my Promised Land. So tired of the hate, the condemnation, and the persecution. Give me some lovin! Sounds like an awesome plan to me.
Back to leaving the park to drive to my appointment. Father says to me…about the crown chakra…you NEED your crown.
Queen
I need Him to appoint me and anoint me as His Queen. Been saying this to Him for years now. I am on repeat. Can’t do this without you. Can’t do it without being ONE with you. I NEED your eyes to see what you see. I NEED your ears to hear what you hear. Your heart to feel what you feel. I NEED your mind to KNOW what you know. I NEED your voice to say what is in your heart and mind to speak.
Not only do I NEED His Kingship…I NEED oneness with my King. We have to function as one. One heart. One mind. One body. One Spirit.
I keep telling Him…I am not going to have the time to say to someone…I don’t know…I will have to get back to you on that matter. NOPE. All or nothing for me. Give it all to me or find someone else cuz I am not doing this any other way.
I cried when He said so sweetly to me…you NEED your crown.
He was saying to me…I am going to give you what you want. Going to give me what I am asking for. I am going to get my appointing and anointing…my crown. Not just Queenship and a divine Husband…but all His divine traits that He comes with. I will get that divine mind I have been begging Him for…for many years.
YouTube
As I have mentioned before on here, there is a YouTube video prophesying about me. My rising up. My coming into the woman I was designed to be. I remember the first time I saw it. Crazy thing. Father had it pop up in my newsfeed. I watched it and nearly passed out. Vanessa was in the kitchen, and I said to her…you have to watch this. This is me. This is what He has been talking about all these years.
Encouraging to me at times because I doubt so much. Having to work through a self-destructive mindset to get to the place of acceptance of who He says I am…a hard work. A HARD work. I made it…despite the heavy opposition and the heavy artillery being constantly launched at me. The battle against me was long and a massive attack. The torrential river spewed out of the dragon’s mouth nearly swept me away. Father is the only way I kept my head above the water. Those who have stayed by my side through this specific season of my life…will forever be blessed by me personally. I will see to it.
The screenshots below are a few I took to encourage me along when I was low. I wanted to share them here and say thank you to these three people specifically.
I hope someday you will find what you posted…here on my site. You blessed me. You touched my heart when I needed encouragement…when the battle was raging against me. To you…I say thank you. Thank you to all who have prayed for me even though I was unaware you were praying.
Army
I remember so clearly…it was around 2011. He had shown me an army of demons coming against me. They were locked arm in arm with weapons and shields. One line spanning my vision from left to right. It was a mighty army walking straight at me. They were UGLY and SCARY as Hell. I said to Him…I am terrified. I will never forget what He said to me.
Let them come. You are MINE. They can’t have you.
He was proud and He was bold. He was clear.
I said to Him at that time…then I need you to raise up people to pray for me. I need prayer warriors.
Imagine my shock to see that video and to know all these years, people have been praying. So much love from Him. Mind-boggling. He had answered my scared little prayer that day. I had no idea back then I meant so much to Him.
Anyway…if you prayed for me…thank you. I have asked Him to bless you all.
Preparation
In response to the question of what have I done…He was preparing me. Preparing me to receive my crown. He has been preparing me for 52 years now. I have been working for 30 years myself on that quest. The last six have been the hardest work. I am super excited and super grateful to receive my crown…with my crown jewels. Excited to walk in the giftings He has and will equip me with.
Four or five years ago, He had me purchase a wedding dress, the shoes, the tiara, and jewelry to accompany it. A few years ago, He had a friend of mine buy me an engagement ring from Christ. All representations of Christ preparing His Bride to receive Her Bridegroom. I am ready for the River of Life to flow through me from His Throne and the Lamb…as clear as Crystal.
My new Tree of Life book…I keep calling it my bible. Then I correct myself. I have decided that is Father. It is a picture of the book of truth I will write. A spiritual brother used to tell me several years ago…Father had shown him I was Father’s scribe. I would write His words.
Bobbi keeps saying my Tree of Life book is a new New Testament. An expansion on what is already written.
Kingdom
The morning after my park cleansing and dedication ceremony, I picked up the Tree of Life book off the shelf. As always, I asked Him again…what am I supposed to write in this. This time…He clearly said…How to Destroy the Kingdom of Darkness.
That answers where I am going. In part, I will be ushering in the Kingdom of Light. Turning the lights on for the people. We are living in a thick fog of deception that has deceived the people.
A friend and I took the enemy to the courts of Heaven at Passover while I was in Washington DC. I saw the Angel pass over us and move toward the enemy.
I believe it is nearing time for the Earth to swallow up the torrential river the dragon has spewed out of his mouth.
Father reminds me…justice will be served for what I have endured…and the truth WILL prevail.
It is Time
Bobbi is one of my favorite people. I love how she hears from Father for me and with me. She is a pillar in my life. My girls are dear to my heart. They always have my back. Super supportive and I couldn’t have made it through this season without them.
When I went to see The Lion King…she got the vision of Rafiki saying it is time. Saying it…is a thing we do now…it is time. But you have to say it with a deep throaty voice like Bobbi does imitating Rafiki. It is the best. 🤣
It is time for Simba…Jesus Christ as the Son…to be lifted up. To be elevated in the land. For the Truth to rain down on the land and nourish the land, the animals, and the people. It is time for the Truth to Reign as the rightful King on the land He was appointed by man and by His Father to reign and rule over.
The enemy…Scar/Satan has destroyed the Pride land. He has brought death, disease, toxicity, and destruction upon the land Father created for His Son to rule over.
It is time to bring LIFE back to the Pride land.
Pride Land
One of the reasons Father has been having me purchase items from a local pagan stronghold…is to take back territory the enemy has stolen from Him. I buy the items… cleanse them and then dedicate them to His service.
The enemy has long since taken His truths and perverted them to the people…using his agendas as the prince of this world to gain territory over the hearts and minds of the people.
He has stolen…the pride land in the name of pride parades promoting death. He has stolen marriage, the rainbow, children, avenues of healing, food, etc. There is a counterfeit for anything real and true.
Conversion
I am honored to be created and chosen to usher in the rain…His reign…the pouring out of His river…the water of Truth. Christ is the water…the word…the truth that needs to rain down…reign over the people to set them free from the lies and deception the enemy has long been spewing out of his mouth. The truth will cleanse. It will set free. And it will bring healing to all who receive Him.
Just as in the days of Nehemiah, I will labor to rebuild the gates and rebuild the walls. I will do that with my weapon…my dagger in one hand…and my tools in my other hand…my pen…my book of truth. The sword of the Spirit is a double-edged sword. It has the power to tear down the enemy…and the power to build by setting the captives free from their enemies. The Truth…tears down and builds up.
By the Truth…King Jesus will take back His Pride land. He will restore the land. Restore the people. Restore the animals. The covenant includes it all.
To me…it represents my crown. It is a picture for me of something greater.
All Hail King Jesus
Join me as we move forward in truth. Join me in my quest to take back the Pride land for truth so Christ the True Messiah can reign for eternity in the land He bled and died for. Please join me as I teach the truth which will transform how you live your life. Join me in choosing LIFE…not death. Choose life and receive blessings instead of choosing death and receiving curses…consequences for your death choices.
In the New Covenant…the principle of life and blessings…death and curses are called reaping what you sow. You sow obedience…you reap blessings. He will bless you for your obedience. If you disobey His commands…He will let you reap the consequences of the curses attached to each act of disobedience. Your choice. Always your choice.
Unite with me…reclaiming the Pride land and giving it back to the Rightful…Righteous owner.
Let’s prepare our hearts for His return.