My favorite women and I recently met for a Knights at the Round Table meeting, as I call it. This meeting led to a portion of this Mother Time post. Feeling led to share a portion of that here today. Gotta share a bit of backstory first…and maybe in between. In fact, I will probably bounce around in no particular time order. Have quite a few words to use here.
To start with…the last few posts have been difficult to write. Something has dramatically changed within me. The posts are getting harder to write. This is a big deal in my world.
This morning, I felt like I was maybe supposed to write this post. Man…I was struggling with the idea of it. I had some of the words. Had the pictures. Went through and sorted them out. Got the pics on the site…and still…I didn’t really want to write the post. I said to Father…if you want me to write this post…then I need you to give me the title. Instantly…I heard Mother Time.
Pin
I said to Hannah…wow…guess I am going to write this post.
Decided I would leave the house and head to a local coffee shop to work. I told Hannah…this means I HAVE to put clothes on…and leave the house. 🤦♀️
She said something to me which was a pin from Father. I felt it instantly. She asked me…do you think this is your last post? Then she said…I have never seen you struggle with a post like this before.
It kind of jolted me. I said…you know this is a sign for sure.
I asked Father…why am I struggling to write posts now? He reminded me that I was going to be heading in a different direction. Wow…ok. Not sure what that means exactly for this blog…but something significant.
Pin that there…it is one piece of this puzzle…math equation…story problem.
Rolex
In the last blog post, I mentioned I was feeling like I needed some new jewelry. High-end…classy stuff. Way beyond my financial means. One morning, I woke up and Father was telling me to head to my favorite local jewelry store and do some looking. Wasn’t sure about that, but I obeyed.
Every step I take is like Twilight Zone material. 😂
I walk into the store and as they do…a salesman greets me to offer their services. I politely declined.
Moving to the left, I head to the watches to check out the Rolex watches. Another salesman sitting at a table greeted me. I declined but pinned her. A few minutes later, I walked over to her and asked her about the female Rolex options. This skinny little thing has an insanely small wrist circumference. Everything I put on my wrist has to be altered…greatly.
Kelli was my associate’s name. After pulling out the watches and trying a couple on, Kelli convinced me to sit down at the computer with her and build my dream Rolex watch. While sitting there, I said to her…I think you sold my ruby jewelry to me a few years ago. She said to me…I thought you looked familiar when you walked in. Turns out…she was indeed the woman who sold the rubies to me.
Crazy how Father works.
We put the finished product in my computer account. As soon as I get the money, I am ordering that baby. 🥰 Packing around a little picture of it in my backpack right now. Not going to lose it. A dream I am ready to see come true. I earned that watch.
BUT WAIT…there is more…
A New Time
We have come to a new time. For me. For the world too, I believe. I know for me for sure. 100% convinced of that.
One portion of that new time includes opening up the other side of me. That includes the right brain stuff. He has been pushing right-brain stuff lately.
The same day I built my Rolex, He had me purchase some art supplies. A new journal…a sketch journal. With this purchase, I got one of those books to teach children how to draw animals. I have been practicing drawing. Honestly, I thought I would suck at it. As in…not able to recognize anything I am trying to draw. However, I have been quite surprised at myself. In the photos below, you and I can clearly see…we can identify the animals I drew.
Now…they are childlike for sure. NOT professional AT ALL…but damn…I am quite proud for the very first time. Especially at 54. I am old. I figure I can only improve from here. 😂 The goal for me…is to draw cute little animals for my grandchildren. Always looking for new ways to make those cute little faces smile. Those little cheeks scrunching up with the sparkle in their eyes…slay my heart. Not going to lie about that. 😜
Art
Not only did I get some new art supplies…I had to get a bag to put them in. I am getting quite a collection of bags now. Not sure where Father is going with this. 🤷♀️
I have included a photo of my new art backpack. When I walked into the store, I said to Lexy…came to get another bag. This one is for new sketch supplies. She loved the idea. She is teaching art classes now. If it were a different time in my life, I would consider them with her.
When I sent the girls a photo of my new art bag, I said…I look like a dope-smoking happy hippy child. 😂
FYI…not a dope smoker. Never have been. That would have been sheer death for me. Father protected this child from going down that road. By His Grace…for sure.
Struggles
Let me share a bit of one issue I have been struggling with lately. Bobbi and Vanessa have been wanting the four of us to hang out. I told them both…if we are going to do that…then it is going to be a workday. A Knights at the Round Table. We are going to come together and seek Father on questions I have. I need answers. With all four of us together at the table…we will get answers for me. We got a few.
Bobbi has been a super-duper helper for me this past week. Wow…she has really helped move me forward. So thankful for her loyalty.
One issue has been a long-time issue. I feel like Father has shown me a portion of what will happen with the Bride of Christ/world during the 40-year Wilderness journey I must lead them through. I am struggling to wrap my head around one specific concept. Not going to reveal it here because I am still not 100% sold I am understanding Him correctly.
Vanessa and I have talked through this extensively over the last couple of years. We both feel I am hearing what He is saying correctly. However, I can’t understand how it will work. That is one problem I have. The second issue for me…is…I couldn’t live that way. It would have been better had I not even existed if Father would have me live that way. I literally can’t imagine it being true.
Despite the fact what I have heard makes logical sense from a spiritual perspective…I can’t imagine it. Therefore, I believe I must be wrong. Somehow, I am misunderstanding Him in some way. Somewhere along the way, I must have miscalculated the math story problem and got the wrong answer.
Bobbi
I shared this concept at the table to update the women where I was currently at with it. We sought Father on the truth about it. Bobbi got a vision of horses. Of all things. 😂 He is stuck on horses right now. It is a theme.
The vision was pretty cool. Somewhat informative for me. I am still processing what it all means.
Hannah got a vision of a mountain. She has been getting a lot of mountain stuff lately. In her vision, was the color green. It seems to also be a theme for us lately.
We took the picture above of the four of us that day because we were all wearing green. Didn’t plan that at all. We did that with purple once. Crazy how this works in our lives.
Another issue I have been struggling with is what I am getting ready to do next.
Bobbi got a vision of me walking. Someone came up to me and asked if it was business or pleasure. I said…why can’t it be both?
It feels like I am getting ready to start a new walk. Walk a new road. A new path.
This kind of goes with Hannah asking if this is my last blog post. Before I left the house, I said…it feels like this is the end of something for sure.
Magic Show
Here is where I am. I feel like I can’t move anywhere now at all. I have come to the end of this for me. Can’t go left, right, forward, or backward. I can’t move.
When Bobbi and I were working the other night trying to get me out of the darkness, I saw a vision. I was sitting in the theater in one of the chairs. In front of me was a black curtain across the stage. The lights in the auditorium were dimmed like the show was getting ready to start. I was just waiting for the curtain to open up.
I was sitting in the dark…waiting. This ole gal had nowhere else to go.
Father said to me…I have a magic show I have created just for you.
What I believe is…behind that curtain is the truth. When I woke up this morning, I reflected on how much I love and value the truth. It is my highest priority in life…to have the truth. Be united with the Truth. To walk by the truth. Live by it. Be married to it. Yoked with it.
My training is over. I am sitting and waiting…for His magical appearance. To see, know, and experience the truth.
I do believe I will love the show and tell. Believing it will be a huge blessing for me. I am excited. In anticipation for something great. That feels good. Feels right.
Face to Face
I believe I am going to come face to face with the truth. I was telling Bobbi the other night, I believe the truths I need are behind that curtain. Believing I am going to experience them.
This face-to-face meeting goes along with other puzzle pieces which are part of a theme He has going on now with the word face…and time.
Going back to building my Rolex…when Kelli was having me pick out which watch face I wanted, I sat and thought about the silver face and the Mother of Pearl face. I loved the look of the Mother of Pearl. Wow…so pretty. However, I felt like the diamonds got lost in that face. I decided I preferred the silver face. It reflected better. This is the one I went with in the end.
Father has been using that pin to remind me of different truths.
As the Second Adam, Christ was the face of Father. Christ said to the people…if you see me…you have seen the Father. Christ’s nature…His character was a reflection of Father.
As the female Christ…the Second Eve…I too am the face of Father. The female face. Christ was the male face. It is the yin and yang…the completion of who He is. The TWO genders coming together to be unified…united in fulfilling the picture to mankind of who He is. It is bringing the Marriage Covenant redemptive work to completion.
Christ’s sacrifice on the cross was not the completion of the New Covenant…it was the completion of His portion of that covenant. The female has to do Her portion. That is in part me…another part is the Bride of Christ’s portion.
Clock Face
Another portion of the puzzle to the face is about time. The clock face…the face of time.
He recently informed me…He was going to transfer the title/deed to time over to me. It was my time.
I call Him Father Time on occasion. He is time. He is the alpha and omega. The beginning and the end.
During this recent convo, He called me Mother Time. It is time for me to step up and be in charge of time. My time to reign.
Part of this has been and is…a battle between man’s time schedule and His. Man ALWAYS has plans for their time. This is why we have planners. Man sets goals for their time. Then they do works of the flesh to fulfill their set goals.
His Spirit works differently. The Spirit leads…man is to follow. This is why my planner is more of a tracker. If you look back at the Israelites in the first Wilderness journey, they followed the Spirit’s leading. Daily. Their walk consisted of following His lead moment by moment. They didn’t move until He told them to move.
This is how I have walked for so many years…I literally can’t walk any other way. He points the way…I go.
Since I have lived this way for so long, I have mastered it. Seems like it is time for me to go in a different direction and start leading instead.
Another Struggle
Another issue I have shared in the past was about this idea of so many people in the New Apostolic Reformation side of the Christian Religious System…aka…kingdom people…who have been falsely claiming my identity. This would include the entire Esther MeToo movement. All the people who are claiming they are the Esther that is coming. This also includes all the people claiming to be the other leaders I am. There is a LONG list of them. Moses. Joseph. Isaiah. Deborah. Ruth. Etc.
After our Knights at the Round Table meeting, Hannah and I had to stop by an apartment complex to drop something off for someone. While pulling out of that place and trying to merge back into traffic, I felt like I was going to pass out. Once again, I asked Father…how do these people so easily claim my mantle? I don’t understand how they can do that. I am drowning and suffocating under the weight of the burden. The responsibility of this is enormous. It feels like an immovable mountain for one…but two…one I can’t carry.
His response this time seemed to finally complete the answer I needed. Each time I have asked, He has responded differently. These layers of truth have been building something in me about the issue.
He said…they can easily claim the mantle because they were not chosen. Since they weren’t chosen…they don’t feel the weight that comes with the calling of it all. They are grasping at air…not standing at this mountain.
I feel the responsibility because I was chosen to carry it. I feel the enormity of it. Can’t remember a time when I haven’t felt it at this point in my life. That mountain has been sitting on my heart for over two decades now.
Positive Note
I am going to end this post on a positive note. With a positive tone. I am always telling Hannah…the leader sets the tone. Be the leader Esme needs in her home. 😆
This ole gal is super grateful Father is handing the Kingdom over to me. When I was thinking about that concept this morning…Him handing time over to me. Making this time about me…instead of Him…I felt so loved. I cried. It did my heart good.
I have never understood how all these Esther MeToo movement women have been so deceived into thinking King Xerxes really “loved” Esther. The man had a harem of women he had been sleeping with. She was terrified to approach her own husband. They were not friends. They were strangers. AND…he was only willing to give her UP TO HALF his kingdom. UP TO HALF.
The man didn’t care about Esther’s heart at all. If he did, he would have laid his life down for her and died for her as Christ has commanded men to do for their wives.
For the first time in my entire life, I feel like I actually have a husband who is going to lay down his life and give it all to me. I seriously can’t imagine that kind of love…but excited to learn and experience what that feels like. Finally. I think I am getting to my finally moment in time. I need the positivity…for sure. 😍
Much love to all. For real. This blog is a labor of love. True love…not man’s bullshit “love.” I hope someday soon, the whole world will come to know what real love is…His love…versus man’s love you’s that are nothing but lies.
I would love for mankind to experientially know the truth. To know the difference. 🥰