In the last post here, I posted a picture of myself. Although the image quality is not ideal, I love the picture. My son, Mitchell took it for me on a day when I had won a spiritual victory. I wanted to commemorate the day with a picture of me. Reminding myself of the woman He had created and the woman He was building within. I celebrate victories.
When I asked Father what picture He wanted me to use with that post, He brought that image up.
Ok.
As I was previewing it on this site in PC mode…I didn’t like it. Very pixelated. Repulsive for me to look at. Distorted.
Sassy
I got sassy with Him…saying…I can’t post that picture. It looks horrible.
Now…when He tells you to do something…arguing with Him is FOOLISH! After 30 years, I get that, but my heart still leaks out my mouth at times. 🙁
His response…a reminder of a conversation He and I had years ago.
I sighed.
Understood.
Then He said…that is your next post.
Ok. There ya go…here I am.
The Conversation
As part of a leadership team, I was asked to fill in last minute for the leader who was scheduled to teach. I had between 24-48 hours’ notice. Less than 48 but a tiny bit more than 24. Father gave me the topic of Nehemiah’s gates to share.
Ok.
At this time, I was still homeschooling my youngest, so my time was limited. I am not a perfectionist…but I like to do things with a high standard of excellence. Thinking about PowerPoint, I knew that WASN’T going to happen. No way I could pull that off in such a short time with the information I had.
As always, I asked Father…how do you want me to present these truths? I love using props and visual aids. It steps up the visual learning aspect of it for me. Examples are the bomb.
His response was rather horrifying to me. He reminded me of the large easel pad I had shoved behind a dresser. I only used it privately for personally drawing out images He gave me with truths He spoke. Putting a pen or marker on paper helps me solidify my understanding.
Prepping for my Presentation
He was saying…draw out the illustrations I have given you and put your lists alongside them.
WHAT??? 🤯
Are you serious?
You CAN’T be serious.
Seriously!
I am NO artist. Horrified…I had to draw out this really large map on six or seven pages…plus load it up with my bullet points. It was not pretty. Truly…not pretty. 😩
My son Mitchell attended a local writing class for high school homeschoolers along with a government class the next day in the afternoon. I would be teaching him at home, running to our classes…along with other daily stuff. On a time crunch to get this ready in time, I took the easel pad with me along with my markers to his two classes. The moms always sat visiting in a specific room in the church while the kids were in class. I got down on the floor and began drawing out my map and getting my bullet points on each of the pages.
I am a powerful multitasker. Organized and efficient. 😜
However, these moms are now a front-row audience to my artistry attempts. 😧
Humility
I was disappointed in the appearance of the visual aid I created. We discussed it…I needed an attitude change. A heart change. It was a lesson in humility for me because I wanted it to look professional. I can do professional, so this was below MY standards…but it was according to His for that presentation. THAT WAS the point.
Two lessons to share here about that.
Obedience
It is ALWAYS…ALWAYS about the heart. He wants obedience…even when that looks poorly to others. It is about…do you love Him enough to obey Him and look like a fool in front of others. Are you willing to look LESS THAN to others? For Him?
Man judges by appearance but He judges by the heart. He wants you to have a humble submissive heart that obeys Him even when your reputation is trashed. He is more concerned about the condition of your heart…than your appearance. Are you rebellious in your heart yet look pretty? Or are you looking rather disheveled in appearance, yet your heart is 100% submitted to look like a pauper for Him?
He lowers those that elevate themselves…that is a PAINFUL fall. I don’t recommend this way. 😳
He elevates those who lower themselves. Sometimes that takes years, but it is a much LESS painful route to follow in the long haul. The rewards are greater in the end.
He wanted me to NOT think about or focus on how others perceived me or even myself…instead follow His guidance step by step. That heart condition…is what He is pleased with.
Relatable
Another lesson is on relatability. He reminded me…there are people in the crowd who need to hear His truths without focusing on the bells and whistles of the presentation. There are people in the crowd who FEEL LESS THAN and need to be encouraged…lifted up because they see Him in a simple humble presentation. A presentation they can relate to in their status in life.
ONLY He Knows
This is a default mindset for me…I don’t know what the people need to hear. He does.
It is arrogant of me to lead through my flesh. I only lead by following Him. He is MY standard to follow.
He alone knows the hearts of every single person who reads this post or sits in one of my classes. I certainly don’t. He knows what their heart cries are. What lies and deception they are bound by. He knows their traumas…their pain. I haven’t a clue what they need to hear, know, or understand to get set free from the bondage they are in. I just ask Him…what do you want me to say…to write? Then I do it.
I am a gardener of a garden that He owns. I till up the soil, plant the seeds, and bring the water and fertilizer to aid in the growth. He makes the plants grow. He develops and produces His fruit the people will begin to consume.
I am a worker. A laborer who labors in the field for Him.
In Summary
Many will come here and arrogantly point out “faults,” errors, poor quality, etc…according to the ways the world builds a site online. I follow His ways…not the ways of man. It will include humbling posts, pictures, issues, etc. That is a positive thing for me. It stretches me. Strengthens my heart. It reminds me…this is His site…His life…not my own. I am a bondservant whose ear was pierced with the awl 30 years ago. I am not my own.
The Featured Picture
I got the honor of presenting my son with his graduation diploma and giving him a blessing from Father for his future. This picture is of the two of us after the ceremony. 🥰