My son is on a mission and has a deadline. It is all about packing up…and moving out. 😂 The featured image is a pic I took a few days ago. Today, it looks more organized. We have stacked boxes piled up against the wall near the patio door. We plan to back the U-Haul up to the door and load the boxes in. Efficiency…I LOVE it. The rooms are getting cleared out and packed up. Exciting times for the fam. 😍
I am always amazed at how a fresh coat of paint brightens up the house. I told Vanessa the other day, you know you are working too hard when you end up stripping down to paint a wall when there is snow on the ground and the windows are open. Donovan failed to get the correct roller nap for a textured wall. That wall…was a job. This ole gal was pushing harder and painting in different angles to get the paint to cover. Man…I was sweating…had to strip down to get the job done without passing out from heat exhaustion. That is saying something because my son keeps this house cold, and I weigh 100 pounds. I am always cold. 🥶 😂
After painting, scrubbing, and moving boxes, I was a bit sore…for two days. I am getting too old for manual labor. 😂 I am thinking I am quitting. Someone else can do the job. The house is looking nice. I am beyond ready to move.
Thinking Out Loud
I considered titling this post thinking out loud. It feels to me…like that is what I am doing here publicly. Honestly, I don’t see the point in it at this time. I am hoping as I obey…it will become clear.
Father has been pulling puzzle pieces together lately…from current-day stuff and past stuff. I have no clue what He is saying to me. I keep asking Him to put the pieces together and give me the picture…not there yet. So, I asked Him…what do I need to do and/or say…to get the understanding I need. I felt like I was supposed to write them out here. Wasn’t really keen on the idea of rambling without knowing the purpose…so I tested Him. I said…if you want me to type this mess out…then give me the pictures for the post. Instantly, He brought to mind some of the remodeling and packing photos…along with the title this morning.
Ok…so there ya go. Now ya know…that I don’t know. Obedience is everything. Years ago, I learned…to move forward…I just obey. It works for me.
You have now been warned. This post is me thinking out loud. It is a possibility that by the end of this rant…I may still NOT have an answer…and none of this will make sense to either one of us at the end. If you want to read my ramblings…be my guest. If you don’t…stop here and back out of it. I haven’t a clue where I am going here. 🤷♀️
Vanessa
I think the first puzzle piece I will start with pertains to Vanessa. In one of the pics below, you will see her prepping the ceiling for paint. The kids and I did the walls. While we were working, we both had our earbuds in for portions of the work.
After we quit for the day, Vanessa wanted to discuss with me a podcast she had listened to while prepping the ceiling. It was a couples podcast “teaching” on marriage. She was telling me how at first it was entertaining…but turned irritating quickly because of what they were teaching.
It is difficult for both of us to listen to man’s teachings…yet Father forces us at times. 🤨
One of their solutions to make a couple’s marriage better…was more physical touch. Their foolish belief was that if couples spend more time snuggling…their marriage will improve. 🤦♀️
Sometimes…people’s ignorance…leaves me speechless. I seriously struggle to understand the mindset of mankind. How does mankind think so highly of themselves to think their own personal thoughts, opinions, and beliefs have value? So much value…they have the power to bring freedom to others?
I just don’t get it. It baffles my brain. Totally scrambles it. Scrambled eggs.😳
One Size
I really detest the world’s mentality of one size fits all. Man bigamizes it…and makes it fit everyone. Goodness…that defies logic and common sense to me. Our Creator…created every single person to be uniquely them. We each have our own experiences…which include trauma and pain.
One of the things I said to Vanessa about this couple’s teaching that more snuggling will fix marital problems…doesn’t help the wife who has lost all respect for her immature husband. When some women intuitively and/or cognitively become aware their husbands aren’t growing and meeting their inner needs…she doesn’t want him touching her. Women were created/engineered/designed/preprogrammed to NOT have sex/intimacy with children. If a wife (who is in tune with the truth) FEELS as if her physically adult husband is really just an immature man-child inside…sex with him…is painful and goes against her inner core. Physical touch for a man…usually leads to arousal which will only irritate the already frustrated wife…causing MORE disconnection in the marriage.
To make the general/blanket statement…more physical snuggling will help is no different than a doctor treating the physical symptoms of disease in your body without finding and treating the root cause. Why did you develop that disease in the first place? That should be the first question you ask. Treating the symptoms is only one portion/one part/one piece of treating the whole disease. Stop looking on the surface…swimming in the kiddie pool and let’s dive deeper here.
If there is trouble in ANY relationship…the first place you should look is within self. Each relationship is uniquely different because each person is uniquely different.
Custom Fit
This is where personal training comes into play. When I start a new workout in the gym…I start with a personal trainer. I want someone skilled who can set me up with a program all my own. Crystal Ann has purposes in being there…and I want those purposes fulfilled. I don’t want a one-size-fits-all plan. Custom-fit plan for me please and thank you. A plan for me and me alone.
When my body is sick…I want a doctor that focuses on my body…not the masses and how their bodies respond to treatment. Let’s see what MY body does and what MY body needs. Don’t throw me into a group of people and treat me like you treat the masses. I am not like the masses.
Why is it that people have lost their identities in this world? It seems like so many are trying to be just like the masses. Like so and so. Let’s do what everybody else does. There is a large group of people in this world that you can categorize into one box. They want to be normal. Like the neighbors. I call them commoners.
Sports
This leads to another piece of the puzzle. Sports are HUGE in this world. A MAJOR idol to people. Touch their sports and you will feel their wrath. Don’t be hating on their idolatry of a ball. They get mighty touchy about you bumping their cheese.
We have what I call sports for commoners. That is the common group of sports you see in almost every school…basketball, baseball, football, soccer, etc. Super boring if you ask me. I can’t understand why people want to chase balls around and stay emotionally and spiritually immature for the entirety of their lives. It defies logic and maturity.
Then you have what is termed…extreme sports. These are for the more elite groups of people. People who branch out of basic “food” groups in schools and add a little spice to the plate they call life.
These sports are a bit more interesting to me simply because they are less common. The common ones…I got that in middle school. Bored with them by high school.
Here are some of the more extreme sports I am speaking of…skydiving, river kayaking, rock climbing, mountain climbing, snowboarding, skiing, motocross racing/stunts, surfing the big ones, etc.
Documentaries
Here is where some of the past puzzle pieces come into this equation…story problem. When I was living in Colorado a few years ago, I watched documentaries on some of these extreme sports. Here are three of them.
The River Runner…a story about Scott Lindgren’s extreme whitewater kayaking obsession.
14 Peaks: Nothing Is Impossible…a story of Nimsdai Purja and his team climbing to the 14 summits within a record-breaking seven-month timeframe.
The Alpinist…a story of Marc-André Leclerc and his solo climbing.
I remember a convo I had back then with my doctor and friend. She actually brought up the 14 Peaks documentary. I had recently watched it which led to an invigorating conversation regarding the man and this story.
I then brought into the convo…The Alpinist and The River Runner. If I remember correctly, she had also watched The Alpinist. I recommended she also watch The River Runner. It was my belief she would also like that one as well. I gave her the reasons why I thought she would enjoy it. This led to a discussion about not only physical health between us…but also about mental and spiritual health…the importance of inner health.
Later that evening, my doctor sent me a text message saying she had watched the documentary…and loved it. I knew she would. 😍
YouTube
Another piece of this is YouTube. My newsfeed contains videos of the extreme sports listed above along with other extreme stuff. I am an extremist…🤷♀️.
I have always been fascinated with Everest…and the desire people have to get to the summit. Over the years, I have watched many videos all about Everest. Yesterday, Father had me watch a rock-climbing video. This one was a female doing a solo. I have watched many rock-climbing videos over the years…including interviews with rock climbers. Recently, I watched a few interviews of Alex Honnold talking about his free solos.
The motives of man…intrigue me. Psychology and sociology are interesting topics for me. I have been watching men and women in extreme sports risking their lives for years. Many…have lost their lives out of an addiction to an idol. The reasons people do this…I want to understand.
Motives
So…yesterday I was again watching another person risking their life in a variety of positions. While climbing a sheer face…hanging horizontally as she transitioned to another face…and occasionally hanging by one hand to show she could indeed do the deed. It was quite an accomplishment. She did make it to the top to live another day. More bragging rights for her peers and the world. She proved she was indeed tough, strong, and powerful as a woman.
When I finished the video, I asked Father…why did she do that. What were her heart motives behind it? Why would she risk her life…to do that? (Like so many others do in their extreme sports. Commoners in basic sports have less risk of death, but many are injured for life because of their addiction to sports.) This is what He said to me…she wants to BE SOMEBODY. Make a name for herself. Puff herself up. Look strong, powerful, capable, tough, and better than. To be elite. To be elevated above others…both physically…literally above those below her…and emotionally speaking.
Humanism. The elevation of man. Elevation of self. It is strengthening the flesh of man. Their flesh…the sinful carnal one…alongside the physical flesh.
Reminder
It reminds me of my second ex who raced his motorcycle at Bonneville Salt Flats. His reasoning behind his desire to reach 200 mph on the motorcycle was this…he was going use that to minister Christ to young men…AFTER he reached 200. I often wondered…why couldn’t he minister Christ to people without the speed. His response was…he needed a hook…to attract the people to Christ. No ministry took place even though he reached 200 mph. Actions always speak louder than words. Actions and words should line up…if they are not equal to…the words are lies.
This seems to be the mentality of Christianity. They need to dress Christ up somehow to make Him acceptable to the people.
Can’t you just love the people like Christ did? Don’t ya think that might be the solution to attracting people? Love works miracles in the hearts and minds of the people. Tell them the truth…in love. Wow…what a concept…don’t ya think? I would encourage you to try that…love people…and tell them the truth. You might just be surprised at their response. 🤔
Something to consider anyway. ❤️
Hannah
The next puzzle piece is Hannah and a recent convo we had on the phone. She called me up wanting my help. She was experiencing anxiety and couldn’t get to the root of it.
Like a doctor starts poking and prodding around to find the location of the pain…I did the same thing with her. I started asking questions about certain topics…until we hit the source of the anxiety.
She has a constant source of anxiety and fear. Hannah wants to be somebody…important. To her…life is not worth living if she isn’t somebody important. The woman wants to be elevated and thought highly of…just like the masses.
Arrogance within her is a constant battle. Her flesh doesn’t want to die…bow down and submit to the Truth…and the demons are rather comfortable there. 🤨 I have been patiently waiting for her to reach the conclusion humility is the best option. We aren’t there yet. We will get there…we are just not there yet.
Belief
Another piece…an old one…is a long-time belief…conviction I have held. I believe I have shared this piece somewhere on this blog. A convo I had with my second ex (several times) years ago was about me writing and teaching.
His desire was for me to sit down and start writing. Many people over the years have said…you have a lot of books in you. This is true. I will write many in the years to come. HOWEVER, I made a vow to Father years ago…I would not write unless He led me to write. I have ZERO desire to teach people anything but TRUTH. Christ.
I have nothing to say out of my flesh that has any value to heal anyone or set anyone free. It would be better for everyone…to shut my mouth and refrain from speaking…than to add one more self-centered…man-centered…flesh-written book.
We have billions of them in this world. They don’t have any power to set anyone free from the captivity in their hearts and minds. This world is full of man’s bullshit beliefs of how they can be better. Self-improvement books are appropriately categorized…it is humanism. Man trying to foolishly improve man. Self. Elevation of man.
Do you see that mentality? Man can’t set man free. Only Christ through Truth can set man free.
Battle
Crystal’s my truths are shit. Christ’s truths contain power. Strength. Freedom.
With this in mind, the other night…I was laying in bed thinking about some of these puzzle pieces trying to see and know the picture. I have this battle within. Part of me wants to move to a secluded cabin in the woods and keep to myself. Ignore the nonsense in this world. Get away from the arrogance I hate so much. Shut my mouth and disappear. Mind my own business. As Grandpa always used to say…paddle your own canoe. You have enough work to do paddling your own…don’t try to paddle your neighbors. Sage advice I took to heart many years ago.
Life is so much easier when I focus on my own little world.
BUT…then…there is this desire within my heart…to gather under my wings all these people who are enslaved by the world…the lies and deception constantly being spewed out by enslaved man. It is the blind leading the blind.
In thinking about Vanessa’s podcast info…I told Christ the other night…I wish you would give me the remote to this world so I could mute them all. I want to silence the world. Put everyone on mute. Shut them all up. Make them speechless. Then gather them into a classroom so they could listen. Learn to listen instead of espousing how smart they are. Listen to learn what the truth really is so they could be healed body, soul, and spirit…to be set free from enslavement. Inner slavery…and outer slavery.
Last Piece
The last piece of this picture puzzle pertains to Christianity. The other night I was thinking about some of the videos I have watched…in conjunction with a Bible Study I attended with Hannah back in January. I couldn’t believe Father made me attend one. Hadn’t been to a Bible Study in YEARS. Haven’t missed them…AT ALL.
I went to observe…see what He wanted to show me while there. He had a lot of things to say that night. Obviously, He is still talking about it. It is a pattern I noticed in Christianity when I was about 10 years old.
Seriously…hasn’t gotten much better since then.
Most Christians…want to sit and have a conversation about Christ rather than have a conversation with Christ. That is truth.
I don’t understand that mentality…but it is religion at its finest. Let’s do works and look like we are pious instead of cleaning up the inside and actually being righteous.
Can I just be direct here? You may think you are getting by with “looking” righteous…but you are deceived. We see right through you. Ask a pagan who knows your character. Truly…ask them to honestly tell you what they see in your behavior. You might be surprised at what comes out of their mouth. If you are preaching Jesus but you are not intimate with Him and changing…you are a phony baloney. Heathens know fake when they see it.
Example
Years ago, I had a Christian woman tell me I needed to stop asking Father questions. She believed I was hearing from demons. Her arrogant, selfish, man-centered…fleshly solution for me was this. I needed to see a counselor because I was listening to demons…and go back to attending church. Also…I needed corporate worship. Her version of worship was music…not actually bowing down to and submitting to Christ Himself. Father’s definition of worship is bowing yourself before Him and obeying what He says.
Had I followed this blind woman’s man-made solution, I would not have the intimacy I have with Father/Christ/Holy Spirit I have today. I would have missed out on unlimited spiritual wealth. Along with many other experiences in my life.
That woman is not in my life today…because she tried to separate me from Christ. She would rather have me talking about Him instead of talking to Him…like the masses within Christianity.
This attitude…keeps people enslaved. It is people like this…that fuel my fire to speak the truth.
Nobody
For years, I have humbly been a nobody while watching everybody else arrogantly working overtime to be somebody. Somebody important in this world.
I have been telling Hannah…out of the heart…the mouth speaks. The fact you are focusing on being somebody…is a sign of the immature toxic condition of your heart. Instead of worrying over being somebody important…you should be bowing to the one who IS somebody important. That is Christ.
The flesh of man wants to elevate the flesh of man. Christ wants you to kill the carnal flesh of man. He wants you to become nobody humbly bowing to Him…making Him the important somebody He is. See the difference?
I am not normal. I don’t know how to think any differently…and I have tried.
The other night, I was telling Christ…ya know what would clean this world up and make it a better place…silence them all…and YOU speak.
If everybody would just shut their flapping babbling mouths and listen to His truth…man…we could get somewhere in this world. It would be a much healthier place to live. Maybe a place I could stand to live in.
I also told Him…I want the supernatural. Give me the supernatural. Let’s go!!!!!!!! Get me outta here. Beam me up Scotty!
😜
Well…there ya go. My little teapot has been poured out. I feel empty. I am not sure I got any answers…but I feel better. Maybe later…He will tell me what I need to know.
In the meantime, where is that remote???
I think I will go see if I can locate it. 😜 😂
Have a delicious day!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am planning on it myself.