I can honestly say…I have no idea where this post is going. I KNOW this is about parenting. Parenting 101. That…I am 100% certain.
Last night, I uploaded these pictures knowing Father wanted me to do a post on parenting. Also, I knew He wanted me to share a story about Mitchell getting his first street motorcycle. It is pertinent. Mitchell…and parenting him through his high school years is the crux of this post.
When I got to the computer this morning, I did my routine. Here is the routine…I pull up YouTube and check my newsfeed. 😂 About the only thing I do on the computer these days is YouTube and this blog. Father ALWAYS has me studying people…and topics. ALWAYS. YouTube is my textbook now. I LOVE it. So much fun.
I’ve got a criminal defense lawyer I am enjoying. Getting a whole new perspective on defending criminals. Opening my mind up in places I had no idea were there. Loving the mental stimulation and the things I am learning about the law. So refreshing.
One of the videos on my feed is this one. Piers Morgan vs. Ben Shapiro. Love this video. Highly encourage you to watch it. Take the time. It is good.
Public Speaking
I LOVE public speaking. It is a passion of mine. Put me in front of a crowd of people…and I am transported into another world. It is a position I was born to stand in. Years ago, I had to teach a crowd. I felt AWFUL. I mean…awful. Had a horrible headache…with a touch of nausea. Wasn’t sure I could power through. The leader who had asked me to speak that night noticed I wasn’t my normal self. I informed her…I felt terrible…but I was prepared and going to get the job done. Within seconds of stepping up on the stage, I completely forgot I felt like shit. I opened my mouth and nothing else mattered in my world. Teaching was all I could think about.
After the evening ended, the leader said to me…you can tell you were created to do that Crystal…your whole demeanor changed when you stepped up there. At that moment, it hit me…I felt great. No headache. No nausea. Crazy how that works for me.
That being said…public speaking is important to me. I see it has great value in this world.
As a result, I wanted my kids to be comfortable standing in front of crowds to speak. Since I homeschooled them, I needed people for them to speak in front of. Enter homeschool co-ops. When my oldest daughter Mara entered high school, we drove an hour one way to get her into a group so she could get that experience. I put her in speech and debate class with other homeschooled high schoolers. At that time, her desire was to become a lawyer. (That changed when her friends were learning the market was saturated, having trouble getting jobs out of law school, and were loaded down with college debt.)
Logic
Through this experience, I started to see the importance of logic. Debate…should be based on truth. Evidence. Facts. Reality. NOT FEELINGS.
Enter…logic studies. I began to peruse the vast amount of homeschooling curricula available to find curricula for teaching and learning logic. Looking at logical fallacies that people use when debating…or arguing.
Here is something I learned. In Father’s eyes…logic…truth…and math…all live in the same category. To me…they are interchangeable.
Truth is mathematical.
Logic is mathematical.
Math is logical…it is truth. It is unchanging. Rock solid. Secure. Sure. Stable. Certain. So is logic. So is truth. They all are a rock that is immovable.
2 plus 2 will ALWAYS equal 4. That is an immovable truth. You can stand on that truth…SECURELY. It will not bend or break. It will not change. That rug…will NOT be pulled out from under you. You can securely say every single time…2 plus 2 equals 4. That math equation is ALWAYS logically true. Always.
See…the truth NEVER changes. It is one reason why I am madly in love with the truth. I am secure when I am standing on THE truth. Him. Christ. The Rock.
Back to Ben
One of the things I love so much about Ben…is his mind. His intelligence…leaves me speechless at times. No man has ever made me speechless like that. The guy just blows my mind at times. I would love to get inside his head and see how that brain functions. His ability to see the logic in things and then explain it to people in such a clear way…and so quickly…makes me jelly. I WISH I COULD DO THAT! I am in awe at how he shreds people with his logical mind. The truth he speaks so clearly…goodness…I am jealous.
I love how he explains that transgenderism is based on mental illness. I KNOW that…but how he lays it out for people…is crazy good. How people can’t see that…blows my mind too. It is logical. Common sense. It is mathematical.
Here is one reason people can’t see the truth. They don’t want to.
I was sharing with Bobbi the other night…Father told me MANY years ago…people believe whatever makes them FEEL better.
Man is driven by emotions. Not the truth…not what is mathematically and logically true.
Craziness. Mental illness. Seriously. It is mental illness when you will let your emotions override what is logically true.
It is one reason STDs are so prevalent today. Men are driven by their penis. Women are driven to FEEL loved by a man so they will spread their legs for any man who will pay any kind of attention to them. MENTAL ILLNESS. A man should prove to the woman he is worthy before she spreads her legs for him. Goodness. It is logical…common sense here.
High School
As soon as I put Mara in debate class, I saw the value of logic from the viewpoint of teaching it to my children. I KNEW logic was important to/for me or I wouldn’t have been home-educating my children to begin with. I would have put them in the public box of education the world has designed. Let them be indoctrinated by the world, instead of teaching them to think for themselves.
As the kids went through high school in our home…logic, public speaking, and worldview were HIGH priorities through those years. I eventually ended up teaching public speaking to the high schoolers until my divorce and subsequent move. It was that important to me.
When Mitchell moved into high school, I was assigned to assist in his public speaking class. Super thankful about that. Loved our teacher. She was great. It was during this time, Mitchell and I started discussing debating at home. It wasn’t until the second year of public speaking that Katie added a debating element for the kids. However, I wanted Mitchell to get started on it earlier, so I started having him watch Ben Shapiro and Matt Walsh on YouTube. Mitchell branched out and found other speakers he found interesting. We then had a list of men we were watching to glean wisdom from.
Worldview
Worldview is important in life. It is life…or it is death depending on whether your worldview is built on sand…foolishness…lies and deception…OR the rock…truth.
If you build your belief system on lies and deception…that is sand you are basing every decision on. You will go down. Your whole kingdom will go down. The water will come and wash it away. It is like a rug that is pulled out from under you. Insecurity. Gone. Everything you have built…a waste. Worth NOTHING. All to burn up in the fire. Wash away in the floods. The little piggies will blow your whole house down. Nothing left to show for your life.
If you build your belief system on truth. HIS truth…not your bullshit my truths…opinions…you will stand. No matter what…you will stand. The storms will come, and your house will be secure. Your house will be built on a solid foundation of TRUTH. Truth that is immovable. Unchanging. Unbending. Going nowhere. Secure. Solid. Rock solid.
See? Important.
Father has been singing a Queen song to me this morning. Who Wants to Live Forever written by Brian May. I find that song interesting because the truth is…we will ALL live forever. In Heaven or in Hell. The question should really be…where do you want to live forever? NOT who wants to.
If you base your “my truths” on mere feelings and opinions…you are the foolish one building on the sand. Wise people build on His truth. Unchanging truths that logically stand the test of time. Never move.
Flesh vs His Spirit
Man is usually led by two things. (For convenience’s sake…I am going to use the male pronoun. Man includes both genders though.) The lies and deception in his heart…those lie-based feelings that drive him to do the things he does. All based on feelings.
Secondly…the lies and deception in his mind. That lie-based belief system in his mind.
Those two systems are intimately connected in a man’s soul. It comprises the flesh of man. It is a bucket or vessel containing his opinions and feelings which he leads himself by. All his decisions are based on what is in his mind and his heart. ALL FLESH. Carnal in nature. Faulty. Dysfunctional. Defective. Distorted. Perverted…not just sexually…but perverted from the truth. Disconnected from the truth. Reality. Logic. What is mathematically true.
When a man REJECTS his own penis and wants to have it cut off and have a vagina built with the addition of boobs…that is perverting the truth of the gender he is. The logical truth is he is biologically a male. That fact…that truth can NOT be changed by cutting off your genitals, taking hormones, and applying makeup to paint the outside.
The truth is the truth no matter what you do. Just because you REJECT the truth…does NOT mean the truth has now changed or moved. The truth is a rock. When you refuse to accept that truth…you are doing so out of mental illness. Your mind is not well. It is not healthy. Perverted. It is perverting the truth. See? That is flesh. A carnal mind.
Father’s Spirit IS the truth. A man who is led by HIS Spirit…walks by truth. He allows Christ to tell him the truth…not make truths up himself. HUGE difference here.
Parenting by Truth
I value truth. Real truth. I have zero use for man’s bullshit my truths. Man’s opinions. They are sand. No thanks. I walk by truth. Built my life on His truth.
I parented that way as well.
I wanted my kids to build their lives on truth…not be driven by feelings. Build something that will last…eternally. Live forever in Heaven…not Hell.
So…I had to teach what I believed…and then live it out in front of them. Be an example for them.
Teach them…man is NOT the source of truth. Father is the ONLY source of truth. Build their lives based on the foundation He has for them to build on. Not the sand the world offers them to build on.
Labor
Man…that has been a hard work. Labor intensive. Honestly…I am still doing that with them, even though they are adults.
Years ago, I was doing an inner healing session with Donovan about some of his issues. I want to share something Father said to him. I wouldn’t share this without his permission. The kids and I have already discussed this issue in the past. They have given me permission to use discretion and obey Father.
Father said to Donovan…I have a plan for your life…but I need you to get on board with MY plan. (Instead of following his own…which is what he was doing at the time.)
When Father said that to Donovan, Donovan then relayed that to me. My immediate question for him was this…are you going to get on board with Father’s plan for your life.
His response…yes.
It took him a few years of molding and shaping to be 100% there…but he got there. It was a HARD season for Vanessa and I. That boy is as stubborn as his mother. 😳 He was humbled though…and we are super proud of the man he is today. I tell him that often. So proud. He was worth the battle. 😍
The rewards are worth the work. I remember when Mitchell graduated high school, he started working with a group of older men. He would come home and thank me for the worldview education I gave him. Mitchell was always amazed at how immature and ignorant these grown men were that he encountered daily. He was baffled by their lack of common sense, logic, and understanding of basic truths in life. I was thankful he could SEE the truth. It felt so good to KNOW my labor had paid off in my son as he was thinking logically. He could see the men were driven by feelings and distortion in their minds. Men who lacked maturity of heart and maturity of mind. A proud moment for momma.
Motorcycles
So how in the world does all of this pertain to motorcycles you might wonder.
Let me explain.
In the photos, you will see my kiddos started on dirt bikes at a young age. At one point in time, we had 5 four-wheelers and 4 dirt bikes for a family of 5. I think we also had 11 boats at that time. Crazy I know. Boys and their toys. 🤣
Those four-wheelers and dirt bikes started small. We had little bitty ones. You will see Mitchell’s little Honda 50 in the photos. He probably started on that around the age of 5 or 6. It is hard to resist the cuteness of a child on those little things.
The kids spent MANY hours riding. For years.
When Donovan wanted his first vehicle to be a motorcycle…I didn’t have a problem with that. I taught him how to drive a stick shift when he was 10. He would drive that little truck all over the field. When you live on a farm, kids learn things a bit differently and in a different time frame than when living in the city. Donovan’s driving skills were finally honed and his mental acuity was ON. When teaching him to drive in the city, it was not a stressful experience like teaching teenagers to drive can be. He was more mature in this area from practice on the farm.
However, Mitchell…was a different story. He had moved to the city when he was around 8…so he didn’t get the driving experiences that Donovan had gotten early on.
Feelings
Mitchell wanted to follow in Donovan’s footsteps and get a motorcycle while in high school. He had already purchased a truck and was doing well with driving…but I just didn’t FEEL like he was ready for a motorcycle yet. I FELT like he needed more maturity from a mental standpoint…and even emotionally. Momma just didn’t think he was ready for the responsibility that comes with driving a motorcycle.
When you pull out in the street on that bike…you have to have the mindset that everyone around you is out to kill you. You must drive defensively. It takes mental sharpness…and even then…at times…there is no reaction time. Accidents happen. I know people who have died on a motorcycle…or were injured in such a way…they will never recover. I have treated patients from motorcycle accidents. It is no joke climbing onto a bike. It is a serious matter to be 100% convinced of before you ride…OR not.
What mom wants to worry over her son on a bike? This was a big deal to me.
My FLESH…didn’t want Mitchell to get a bike. I didn’t think it was a good idea for him at that time with his maturity level. I was basing that decision on my FEELINGS in my heart…and my lie-based opinion.
When I sat down and had a conversation with The TRUTH about it…Christ…Father…Spirit…He said to me…Mitchell NEEDS this to develop his manhood. It is part of my plan to make him the man I created him to be.
Peace
At that moment, I had THE TRUTH. Mitchell needed the motorcycle in order to become the man Father created him to be. Without that motorcycle and the experiences on it…he would never be able to fulfill the purposes he was created for.
Father would keep him safe…and He was going to use his riding to teach him how to become a man. It was important to Mitchell’s manhood plan.
What happened there…was Father replaced my…”my truths” with His truth. It settled the matter for me. I had peace and I immediately went and told Mitchell. Ok…I am on board with Father’s plan for your life here. He WANTS you to have the bike. Directing you to get the bike. He is LEADING you to get the bike. This is YOU…hearing from and following Father for your own life.
It confirmed to me Mitchell was being led by Father. Then I confirmed to Mitchell…you are hearing from and obeying Father.
An incredible teaching moment. One of many for the kids and I.
Donovan
I want to share a motorcycle story from Donovan’s life. It is relevant here.
When Donovan was looking at bikes, he found one in Alabama. I swear…the boy could never find anything local. We drove to Alabama to get his Honda, and then a bit later we drove to Wisconsin to get his dirt bike. He is like a hunting dog on a hunt when he is hunting and when he points to a bird…that boy is immovable and barks non-stop. Momma obliges and off we go…driving miles to pick up whatever he has found. I turned him over to Vanessa. 😂
When he found the Honda, he was doing the math. He had enough cash saved up to buy the bike and do the insurance but not buy all the safety gear. Our house rules are…no safety gear…no riding. You don’t pull out of the drive without being fully clothed in safety gear. Seen too much…experienced too much.
I knew Father wanted Donovan to have that bike. I had peace about it. So…I asked him…if Father has provided this bike for you…don’t you think He will provide the safety equipment for you too?
He thought about it for a moment…then he said…no. I don’t.
After we discussed it, we got to the root of it. He believed Father would do that for someone else…but not gift him like that.
Alabama
Off to Alabama we go. When we get there…we meet the kid selling the bike. He was young. I would say early twenties. He was a young father who had recently gone through an ugly custody battle for his young child. The young father won. He now had full custody and had decided the wise thing to do was sell the bike. He was taking his role as a dad seriously. Wanted to be a man and do man things. It was a wonderful conversation with him.
Donovan checked the bike out. Liked what he saw and decided he indeed would take it. Right before we left, the young man said to Donovan…hey…I have all this safety gear and I will never use it. Do you want it? I will just give it to you. (He had already paid for the bike and loaded it up in the van.)
It makes me cry. That kid had no idea about the conversation Donovan and I had before we left to pick that bike up.
Father wanted Donovan to KNOW…He loved him…and did care about his safety. He gifted Donovan that safety gear. It was a beautiful moment for Momma. Evidence Donovan was doing the right thing too. Confirmation to all of us that we were hearing from Father…and obeying Him.
Leadership
I think I will end it here. I feel like my teapot is empty. He filled me up, tipped me over, and poured me out. I am done.
Let me say this to close.
I have chosen to follow Father’s leadership in parenting my children…not the leadership of my flesh. I know my flesh would only direct my children by my broken, injured, perverted, toxic feelings and opinions…not by truth.
I want my children to NOT reach their full potential as man leads…but instead, be the men and women they were created to be…by the Creator who designed and engineered them.
My flesh will lead them wrongly. Their own flesh will lead them wrongly. Man’s flesh…leads man to Hell. There are many paths that lead to Hell, and you get to choose whichever road you want to drive yourself down by the feelings that make you feel good.
If, however, you want the souls of your children to live forever in Heaven…you must follow the path Christ has laid out before you. You must choose to value truth…accept and believe the truth…walk by it…and build your life ON it. You must be the wise one who builds on the rock that is immovable.
This is how I have led my children. By example. Following the truth…and teaching them how to do likewise. The souls of my children mean more to me than anything money can buy in this world.
Servant leadership…laying your life down so that others may have life.
Serve your children well.
Be well.
