Piecing It

Piecing it feels right. Here is why. I feel like I am finally starting to piece this story together that played out in my head for seven years.

It is the fantasy I have shared in the past. I think I am finally starting to understand what it was.

Starting many years ago, I asked Father on repeat to give me the knowledge, truth, and understanding of each body. Body, soul, and spirit. What is each one? What are their individual roles/functions. How do they intertwine and work together?

The three bodies fascinate me. Incredibly complicated stuff though. Hurts my brain. Lots of brain pain.

Busyness

This week has been crazy busy.

I now have a job. Worked Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday of this week.

On Wednesday night, Bobbi and Mavis were in a wreck. I had just sat down to eat dinner after work when Bobbi called and needed me to come and get her and Mavis. Mr. Mitchell Man was at work. I was the closest person to her.

When she called, some of the first words out of her mouth were these…these kids just keep hitting me. 😜

A teenager blew through a stop sign and bam.

Yesterday…Mitchell, Donovan, and I were jostling vehicles around. My nights have been late…

Epiphany

I have been wrestling with shutting the blog down. Shutting everything down. At this time, I am in a holding pattern about this issue. I feel like I have had several epiphanies this week. Very helpful ones.

I am going to type this up and publish it. It feels like I have to walk this story out. Let it play out as Father has designed it to. It is the only way it will end. I feel resolved on that right now.

One epiphany I had earlier in the week was this.

I can trust my judgment. My intuition of soul. I can trust myself. I can trust my judgment of people. When things don’t add up logically…I shouldn’t buy into them. I do have smarticles…and I can trust those smarticles.

It was kind of an ah-ha moment for me when I realized…I can take what I see in the natural realm…apart from the supernatural realm and believe what I see and hear in reality. It was a beautiful settling moment for me. Like I got some security inside.

In this story that Father has played out the last seven years, there are two parts. The story playing out in the natural realm and the story playing out in the supernatural realm.

Where I have struggled…so horribly was trying to piece the two together. I could never make them fit. I think they finally fit into place.

Story

Part of this story over the last seven years has been about natural man and also the supernatural man.

In the story, the natural man started out as a beast. A monster. Demonic.

Then we moved into the flesh of mankind. We lost the demonic part.

Next in line was the spiritual man.

Where I got confused about the supernatural man was the life he was living in the story. It was too good to be true for me to believe. I always fought that portion of the story for a lot of reasons.

One reason is what I said above. The reality was evidence the supernatural man was not the real (natural) man but instead Christ. I just don’t believe a natural man could be that strong.

The lifestyle he was living…the things he was doing would take supernatural strength. Crazy crazy strength. It would take the strength of Christ.

Not only that…but his level of commitment and obedience was crazy off the charts. OFF. THE. CHARTS.

Belief

I can believe what I see and hear in the natural realm. When the natural man tells me he doesn’t want a relationship with me…I can believe that. When reality proves that out…gives me the evidence of that…I can believe it.

Believing what I see and experience in this realm…is truth too.

Gaining understanding of this past story has helped me. I think it is going to allow me to move forward. The way out.

I no longer have to make the natural man and the supernatural man merge together as one man. They ARE two different men. The man of the flesh is in opposition to me. The supernatural man I have seen…is Christ. Both are equally true.

There are two completely different stories playing out because there are two completely different men involved. They are not one man…but two.

What I see and hear of the natural man in reality…I can trust what I believe about what I see and hear there.

The truth is…there is no man in the natural realm who has chosen to do the necessary work to become my husband. Christ has already done that work oodles ago.

Anything and everything good I have seen play out in the story was Christ. Christ alone. It was a picture of Christ loving His Bride. It was a beautiful story to watch play out actually.

I don’t have to believe one or the other. Don’t have to choose it is one story…one man. Don’t have to switch back and forth in my soul and spirit beliefs. I can finally just believe both. The natural man is who I believe he is. I can trust what I see and hear. Christ as supernatural man is who I believe He is. Both are truth.

Peace

I feel relieved to have gotten to this place.

I think this is going to bring my mind peace since I can clearly see two different realities. It feels like Father has separated the natural man from the supernatural man.

This morning, He reminded me of two concepts that also helped.

He reminded me of the story of Hosea. Just the man. He didn’t say anything about the story…just reminded me of it. I have always felt sorry for that man. I feel him with every fiber of my being. There was a measure of peace with the reminder of the story. Not sure why…but I am holding onto it.

The other thing He shared with me that brought me some peace was this. I am a prophet doing a prophet’s work.

I have been a victim of the gossip mill. Last night, I chatted with an old friend I used to attend church with. She had heard about me from someone who attended a prayer group somewhere. Someone shared the scoop with her.

Sometime in the last couple of years, a woman (a stranger to me) shared my part of this story in a prayer group. She wanted Father to stop me. The woman sharing my part of this story with the group of people had no idea anyone in the group personally knew me.

I know where she heard my version of this story from. Painful.

I have gained many horrible labels by man during this timeframe.

Father blows through man’s boundaries like they don’t have any. 🤷‍♀️

My friend asked me…was it true about me? What this woman was saying about me.

Obedience

The humiliation I have experienced over the last seven years has been on every level…at the lowest possible depth you can get to.

I know no one can understand why Father had me do what I did…because I don’t understand. I don’t have the truth, and I don’t have an explanation.

My comfort is…I have obeyed…every step of the way. All along the way. Footstep by footstep. I have not veered off the path. Everything He has asked me to do was 100% appropriate because He had purposes to each act of obedience. When man doesn’t understand…including me…He understands. He knows the truth.

I have been doing this for an audience of one in three. Father. Son. Spirit. If they are pleased with me…then I have to take comfort and rest in that.

His Story

Another epiphany I came to was this…it is His story. This isn’t personal to my heart.

Somehow, I have been interacting prophetically with a representation of the Bride and Bridegroom.

I am 100% solid…sold…that Christ loves His wife. He is coming for Her at some point in time.

He has fought me for me to stay in this story. Why? Because He loves His wife. The love of His life.

When I wanted out…He fought for me to stay so I could help Him and His Bride.

I think that is beautiful. It is a beautiful love story. Love and beauty beyond measure.

That being said…knowing this is His story coupled with the concept that I am merely a prophet doing a prophet’s work…I can step out of this emotionally. Remove my heart from the equation.

I can see it for what it is now. Christ loving His Bride. I am merely a vessel to walk something out in real-time. My heart matters not. I just need to walk it out and finish up the job He has assigned me to do. This vessel was chosen as a container. How I feel is irrelevant about…well…irrelevant about it all. Neutrality is the key here.

This is when being left-brain dominant is a blessing. I can take the heart out of the equation. Looking at things logically without the heart…makes things a whole lot simpler. A lot less painful.

It sets me free to take myself out of the story from the perspective of my inner man. What I hear and see in reality is truth about the natural man. What I see and hear in the supernatural realm is the supernatural man…Jesus Christ.

The puzzle pieces are starting to click into place for me. Such a relief.

Work

The nice thing about this…the new job will take my mind off the past. I can put it all to rest now. It was what it was. It will be what it will be.

Father is going to wrap this season of my life up. It will end. It is time for me to move on since I have gained a new understanding.

I don’t know what I am going to do with this blog and what I have built here. At this time, I am taking it day by day. I have moved back into the world, and I am moving away from and out of this story.

I feel secure this story has an end, and I am getting there. The truths I have gotten this week have helped greatly to bring freedom from this story. Father is building a wall of separation for me between the natural realm and the supernatural realm. Super grateful for that. The puzzle pieces are coming together. I am piecing it together.

Feeling like the blogging will slow down and may stop as I get busier in the world. 👋