Prismatic Springs in Yellowstone National Park is a stunner. Hard to believe something so hot can be so stunning in beauty. The colors in the springs…so rich. Vivid. Breathtaking up close and personal…in more ways than one.
On my YouTube feed this evening, a story came up about different horror stories that have happened in Yellowstone over the years of people falling into the springs. The springs are no joke man. The heat and the smells rising up from all the different hot springs in the park are mind-boggling. Super dangerous…super deadly. 😳
While visiting the parks, I tried to stay wise. I kept a healthy fear of all things nature. My thoughts…keep my distance from the animals…all ledges and edges when up high on a trail…and stay on the path when close to the hot springs. There are reasons why there are boundaries in life. Boundaries are designed to keep you SAFE and secure. Keep the good in…and the bad out.
It is a very simple concept really.
Father had David build a wall around Jerusalem to keep His people in…safely…and keep the neighboring enemies out. The gates allowed the Israelites to let in/out who/what Father wanted in and out. It was for His children’s protection. Their safety.
Much like Trump wanting to build the border wall. Father put it on his heart…to keep His people safe. Keep the criminals out…the law-abiding citizens in. That is the theory. We know America is full of criminals…right…but Trump was hearing Father’s heart. Father’s heart is to keep those He loves…protected and safe. One way He does that is to establish boundaries.
Obedience
When you obey Father…stay within His boundary lines…He will keep you safe…EVEN in the presence of your enemies. Obedience to Him…keeps your soul…safe. It doesn’t mean there won’t be pain involved…nor death…but your obedience to Him… guarantees your soul will be safe.
Years ago, I was talking to Father about something someone said about me. Can’t really remember what the story was but it was a Christian group of people trash-talking me. In their opinion, they didn’t believe my actions were led by Father. This is a repeat for me. 30 years of following Father…I am used to that kind of talk. His ways…are NOT the ways of man. It is part of following Him. It sets me apart…I don’t do what others do.
While I don’t remember the specifics of that particular time, I do remember something Father said to me in our conversation about the situation. He said to me…Crystal…they can’t steal from you what you have with me. They can’t take the intimacy we have shared. They can’t steal from you what we have built. What we have…what we have had. You are secure here…in us.
It stuck with me…because of its profundity. Security. Stability. Safety. Crazy good truth.
No matter what people may say about me…it doesn’t change what I have been building with Father for 30 years. It actually adds to it. Why? Because of who I am. I take lemons and make lemonade. You give me a negative and I WILL convert it to a positive. That is who I am. I exude positivity. For me…I can’t live in negative land. I loathe it. 🤨
Love
For most of my life, I have had this particular mindset…I am His student. I am ALWAYS asking Father questions. Always wanting more truth. Hungry like a wolf. Constantly needing more truth to eat…to consume. Never really getting a belly full and satisfied. Always driven for more. He likes hungry people. Loves hunger. He will give you as much spirit food and soul food as you want to consume. He will meet your desires. I stay hungry…as a result…He keeps feeding me.
Years ago, we wandered into the topic of loving your enemies.
I have always had a fascination with all things psychology, sociology…human behavior. The how’s and whys. It intrigues my mind. Stimulating stuff to reflect on.
We had been discussing love for years. Different types of love…different levels of love…that kind of thing.
So, I asked Him…how do you love serial killers? Serial rapists? Mass murderers? Pedophiles? Etc. How do you love the unlovable? How do you love Satan and all the demons with him? How do you do that? I don’t understand that kind of love. It is a love I don’t understand…but I want to understand. I want to know.
Remember the post where I said Father told my friend that Crystal asks for things she doesn’t really want??? Uh-huh…yep…I was asking for something that was going to cause me a whole lot of pain and suffering. 😂 I am not always the brightest bulb in the shed. My daughters repeatedly tell me…we are not asking for the things you ask for. 🤷♀️
Persecution
Shortly after that conversation, Father had my dad and his wife call me. They wanted me to make a trip over to see something. I was disinclined to do so. Not really feeling the two-hour drive over that day…plus…I just really didn’t care about what they wanted me to see. As soon as I get off the phone, Father says…go. I want you to see this. Ok…I went.
I spent the day…was glad I went. Loved spending time with them. However, the subject matter was a bit triggering to me. No one likes to be triggered. Feeling negative emotions…not fun.
On the way home, Father begins to speak. He talked all the way home. Here is a summary of what He said that day. I was getting ready to go through a time of persecution. Going to hurt…badly. Going to be rejected…vehemently…by those I dearly loved. BUT…He said…I want you to handle it…like the classy lady you are. Watch Ivanka Trump. Be classy like Ivanka.
Ok…there ya go. It was a warning…and instruction. In addition, He gave me some good reasons why I was going to have to endure the persecution. The persecution HAD to come from people I loved deeply. That was an important aspect of the spiritual workout.
Wow…great. 🤨😳😩 Hear the sarcasm oozing from that statement?
You may remember from this healing post, I mention when He says something bad is going to happen…it is overwhelmingly BAD. Something good…super UNDERwhelming.
The persecution warning…wowser bowser man…He was NOT kidding.
Confirmation
Within hours of this persecution conversation, my friend Kenny calls me. He says to me…this may sound strange, but I really believe Father wants me to invite you to a bible study I have been attending.
What is strange…I didn’t attend anything Christian-related. I left the religious system prior to that so Kenny knew I would be less inclined to attend the said bible study. I told him…I will ask Father and get back to you. Very shortly…Father said yes…I want you to go. OK…texted Kenny…I attended.
Take a guess what the topic of discussion was that evening.
PERSECUTION.
Kid you NOT. 🤷♀️
As soon as the man said that…I started laughing. I looked at Kenny and said…well…that is for sure Father.
He wanted to SEAL it in my brain that I was getting ready to undergo some hard persecution. Gird up my loins so to speak.
Enter Hell
Shortly after the warnings, I entered Hell. Here is a very short synopsis of one part/piece/portion of Hell. ONE very SMALL part of it. One fraction of it.
Remember earlier I was asking Father how He loved His enemies? How He loved Satan? All those unlovable people that man loves to hate. I wanted to KNOW how He does that??
He taught me how…the hard way. He wanted me to experientially KNOW. Intimately KNOW how He loves people that we consider here on Earth unlovable.
He put His love for one man in my heart. His love. A deep abiding…undying…unshakable…unbreakable…unconditional love. A love so deep, so wide, so long, and so unlimited that you couldn’t find the end to it or a bottom. An eternal love. A depth of love…no man can comprehend.
A fire. A passion. A desire. A LOVE that is a fire…that consumes. Eats up everything in its path…just like a fire does. Burning love. The ALL-CONSUMING fire love. PAINFUL love.
A love that led me to fall on my own sword. Love that drove me to my own death. A love so deep I laid down my life…and died…so he…could have life. Eternal life. The opportunity to have life in Heaven…for eternity.
The Enemy
Now that sounds beautiful really if you think about it.
But here is where it gets a bit hairy. He HATED me. Rejected me 100% completely.
Yet I LOVED him still.
Every single day…day after day after day after day after day…I was laying my life down for him…for over five years. Day after day after day after day after day…he rejected my love for him.
Spiritually speaking…he was in Father’s eyes…a serial killer. A serial rapist. A pedophile. A thief. A homosexual. A mass murderer. A liar. A deceiver. Etc.
Agent of Death
An agent of death…bringing death to the masses. A man who fucked one prostitute after the other. Many prostitutes. A man who can’t commit to a woman. A man who is constantly stealing from women. A predator who preys on single women who are on the rebound from a failed relationship. A man who preys on the weak, the injured, the lame…with young children in tow. He rapes them…steals from them…devours them like a wolf and then moves on to the next victim when he grows tired of that prey.
His philosophy about relationships with women…he says they have a shelf life…an expiration date. He uses them for a time to get his nuts off…then dumps them and moves on to the next victim. He has left an enormous pile of broken hearts in his wake. A user. A loser. An abuser.
A sadist…a man who gets pleasure out of bringing women (and their children) pain. An enemy to women and children…yet claims to love them. A liar. A deceiver.
A player playing.
Always a thief.
A preacher preaching death to the masses. Bringing death to everyone he is in a relationship with…yet proclaiming to love them. A pretender. A poser. A fake.
One of my nicknames for him during that time was…Satan incarnate. 😂
Love and Hate
It was HARD for me. A hard hard workout. Many hard workouts. I grew. Gained much strength through it all.
You can’t out-bench press me in the spirit realm. No man can. You don’t spend five years fighting demons in Hell and come out of that fire without immeasurable strength. With immeasurable suffering…came immeasurable strength out of immeasurable love. I became a mountain through that experience. Immovable.
It is the yin and the yang…I loved the man…yet I hated the man. I hated his flesh…I hated the demons he operated in…yet I loved him…with depth he could never understand. Didn’t want to understand.
I found it SUPER fascinating that during this time of my life, Father brought a man into my life who was actually a serial killer/rapist. You can check out part of that story in this post. Again…more lessons. More answers to my questions of how do you love our enemies? The unlovable as we call them.
Hot Springs
This all came up again tonight because of the hot springs YouTube video…people’s flesh being burned off after falling into the springs.
That happened to me…from a spiritual perspective. My flesh was burned off in the fires of Hell…and the fires of Heaven. The purification fire. It will take your selfish flesh if you enter into the fire and become a living sacrifice…a burnt offering as Christ did for us. Not for the weak. Not for the faint of heart. It will consume…everything you give it. The fire will burn it all up. Only ashes left in the end.
As I was reflecting on the last five-plus years in relation to visiting Yellowstone and the hot springs there…and at other parks during my trip out West, I was thinking about something Father said through the night…the night before. In our love session, He said to me…I created beauty…to be you. YOU ARE my definition of beauty. I compare everything and everyone else to your heart. The beauty within. You are my standard. No one can compare to you. No one can come close…to you.
No words for that. Never have I felt so loved in all my days. It tied to something He said to me when I was out West…eating my lunch along Lake MacDonald in Glacier National Park.
Big Girl Pants
Thinking about the work I have done over the last five-plus years, I am so proud. I feel like I put my big girl pants on and did something good. It was Hell like man can’t imagine…but it was worth it for me. I have no idea what the man I so deeply loved felt about it…but I have no regrets.
I have loved…as Father loves.
So few people are willing to lay their life down for someone they claim to love…a spouse…a friend…a child…etc. Only Christ would lay down His life for His enemy. He did that. He loved the worst of sinners…so much so…that He was crucified for them. Persecuted by the people He longed to be in a relationship with. Longed to be intimate with. He loved them so deeply…that while they persecuted Him…rejected Him and His love…He loved them anyway…and died. He fell on His sword to show them just how much He loved them. When He says…I love you…He is not a liar doing a con on a woman. He means it. He meant it.
Love
When I say I love someone…I mean it. I have ALWAYS meant it. Even when they don’t love me back. When they say I am listening to demons. Even when they say I am delusional and crazy. Even when they laugh at me, mock me, vilify me, and crucify me…I love them still. More than they will ever understand and ever come to know.
I love.
I AM love.
I AM beauty. My heart…is the definition…the standard of beauty.
I died for my enemies. Why? So they might have eternal life. If they want…they can choose to live. If they don’t want to choose life…they can choose death and die…eternally on death row…working to pay off their debts/crimes, they will never pay off.
I loved a man enough to allow him to reject me fully and choose death for himself. I loved my enemy.
Why? Because of love. I did it for the glory of love.
Rejection
Love weathers the storms of rejection. Love remains. When all else fails and goes to Hell…love endures.
No matter what you do…you can’t abolish love.
I lived in Hell…and I can tell you…love was there with me…in me. It was the reason I stayed. The love didn’t burn up in the fire…it was only purified there.
Now…I can say I KNOW how He loves the unlovable. How He loves Satan…the enemy of our soul.
Satan took everything from me during my time in Hell…but He couldn’t steal from me what was most valuable to me. My relationship with Father. He couldn’t steal what Father and I have built together. He tried…he most certainly tried. Daily. But I endured. Love endured.
A few months ago, Father asked me a question through a song. An old song. I hadn’t heard it in years. Totally forgot it existed. By Cher…Do you Believe in Life After Love. Had to chew on that a bit. He was saying…your work here is done. You labored in love. It was a labor of great love. Do you believe in life after your labor of love?
I wasn’t sure how to respond. I think I have concluded I believe life and love are one and the same for me now. They have merged in some strange way. I AM life. I AM love. I AM light. Those three entities are all inseparable…to me personally after my experience.
Love Remains
No matter what I went through…the love is still there. It remains. It was purified in that fire.
I think that is in part why I have no regrets…what I have left…is greater in value than what I had before.
Everything was taken from me…but what is in my heart. What is in my heart…is greater in value and worth than anything I had in my heart before. AND I had LOTS of value and worth in my heart before…or I wouldn’t have laid down my life for my enemy. WHO does that besides Christ?
Father’s math…is crazy good. 😍🤯💙👀🫀
I loved deeply before this experience…but the love I have now…is DEEPER STILL. MIND BLOWN!!!!!!!🤯🔥❤️🔥
CRAZY! Only He could do something that crazy good. That is power man. A power I don’t understand…but I want to understand. There I go again. 😂 I can’t help myself. I just keep going deeper in. I gotta KNOW. How does He do that stuff????
I loved deeply before…and l love deeply still…but now the love is so beautiful in such a way…I have no clue how to describe it. No clue. It is a clean love. So very clean. Pure. True. Right. Noble. Lovely love. Unimaginable love.
Forgiveness
A love that keeps no record of wrongs.
Love forgives.
Even though this man never apologized to me…I forgave him. It is all gone. I hold nothing against him. In anyway.
To me…it was a necessary part of the process in my relationship with Father. I needed it. Doesn’t absolve him of guilt…but it sets me free.
That is who I am…it is what I do.
Father said to me last night…do that thing you do. I wasn’t sure what He was referring to…but it came to me. Forgive…and love them anyway. It is what I have always done. Convert a negative…into a positive. Don’t labor in vain. Don’t let the pain be in vain. Make it count. Add value and worth to self by working through my issues. Get the heart clean.
My heart is clean.
It is singing a beautiful love song today…I have moved over to the next day as I type this up.
I am in love. I AM love. AND LOVE is beautiful.
Choose love. His love. Not that counterfeit, bullshit love man claims to have. Love is a fruit of His Spirit…it is His work…not a work of the flesh of man.
I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ❤️❤️🔥🔥🫀
Life and blessings!