Years ago, Rick Warren’s book, The Purpose Driven Life, was all the rage in the Christian Religious System. I remember sitting at my friend’s kitchen table discussing all the hullabaloo regarding the book. We both came to the same conclusion…we were already drowning in an ocean of purpose…to put any more purpose on us…would be the death of us. 😳😜 We had ALL the purpose we needed, thank you very much.
I remember the moment Father placed that purpose in me. It is the story I have shared on this blog before when I was driving home from the OB appointment knowing I was pregnant again after having lost my baby in the previous pregnancy. I had come to the awareness…I was one messed up individual who needed help from a source outside of man. Man had no answers for me…what I needed…was something greater than man. Someone powerful AND intelligent. Someone who had real answers to my problems. I KNEW man was clueless…already had years of evidence on the table regarding mankind’s abilities.
In my mind, the only one that could possibly offer me the assistance I needed…was the one who created me. It was a logical conclusion for me. He who created me…would be the ONLY one that would be able to help me. He alone would KNOW intimately…what I needed.
Humility
Humbly submitting my heart…my mind…my life to Him during that truck ride home…changed the trajectory of my life for eternity. Profoundly.
It was at that moment; I came to know and understand the truth of two things.
One…I needed to grow up…mature…and get healthy…emotionally and spiritually.
Two…I needed to do that for myself, for my children, and then pass that health and maturity on…to my children.
It defined my purpose in life.
Growing the Tree of Life within me…producing fruit…and then bearing His fruit so others could have life too…that was the purpose. Produce life for me…and for others. I wanted them to eat of the good fruit Father and I grew and produced in me…so they could be nourished of soul and spirit too. I wanted to give birth to healthy children. Naturally and supernaturally. In the physical realm and in the spirit realm. Through my physical womb and the womb of my spirit man.
That is love. Loving self first…and loving others.
It was my destiny. Is my destiny.
Gatlinburg
The pictures in this post are from a trip I took Hannah on for her 21st birthday. We were sitting in her apartment one January afternoon, when I asked her what she wanted to do for her birthday. She wasn’t sure.
I said…what if I took you to the mountains. What do you think about going to Gatlinburg for a few days and doing some hiking? She was all about that! 😂
It was the first trip for us in a series of trips Father had for the two of us to take together. There were MANY purposes for this series of trips. Many dates Father had planned for me. He wanted me to meet Him in certain locations so He could discuss topics with me. He wanted Hannah to be there to witness these dates.
Timekeeper
As I have mentioned in my Valhalla post, Father sent Hannah and I to New York City a few years ago. It was a super busy trip. Many things He wanted me to see and do. Prior to the trip, He started on a theme with me…time. I saw visions of gold watches. Timepieces. He said to me…Crystal is the timekeeper. The keeper of time.
As always…I was bewildered. I asked Him…are you being facetious? Are you saying I am always watching the clock and being impatient??? At that time, my assumptions of what He was saying about me…were negative. We eventually worked through those issues together. It took some time to get through them. 🤣 (Did you get the humor of time there?) 😆
When Hannah and I got to NYC, everywhere I went…clocks. Along with trees. The Tree of Life. It was another theme He spoke to me about often. Following Him…just seems crazy. I am walking in two realms at the same time. Existing in both places which feels very weird at times. One example…He said…turn around and look at that building. I obeyed, and to my amazement…there was a clock on the outside of the building in the form of the Tree of Life. Makes me laugh…every time. Non-stop experiences like that for me in my life. All day long.
Speeding
I have previously mentioned…I have struggled with speeding. At times, I can go a season where I set the cruise and I am good. BUT…I MUST set the cruise. It is the only way I can maintain the speed limit. Cruise control has been my accountability partner when I am trying to be a good girl and obey those speed limit signs.
Father and I have discussed this issue over the years. I came to understand one of the root issues years ago. Crystal was not created to follow man. I was created to follow His Spirit and LEAD mankind.
When I get behind the wheel and behind another driver…I am driven to pass them. I am a leader…not a follower of man. Every fiber of my being says…you can’t follow them. You HAVE to be out in front of them. 😫
Atonement
It is one of the issues I struggled with in my second marriage. My second ex dumped me because he deemed me an unfit wife. His reasoning…I was not a good, Christian, submissive, and obedient wife.
I find it really amusing because my first husband dumped me because I obeyed Father. 😂
Total opposite opinions of the same woman and my relationship with Father. Hysterical to me.
My take on the issue…there is a supreme judge in the courts of Heaven. On the final Yom Kippur…my Day of Atonement…my trial…I will answer for every single second of my life. Every word. Every action. Thought. Feeling. Every decision. These will either count positively for me…credit. OR…debit…count negatively against me.
I ALONE answer for my life. No one else is responsible for me. I either get the credits…or I pay the loan I took out for myself. If man does not ask Christ to pay the debts incurred…man pays the debts he incurred himself. That is how it works. Your Day of Atonement…is when your debts…the loan you took out…is called to be paid back. Paybacks are Hell. The interest is eternal. You can save up interest or you can spend eternity laboring in Hell to pay Christ back what you borrowed from Him. The borrower is a SLAVE to the lender. Christ is the bank. You borrow…you pay back.
My preference…obedience. Accumulate interest on my deposits instead of borrowing against Him. I am a saver…not a spender. I prefer to live within my means…not outside of them. Daily, I keep my account with Christ…reconciled.
Obedience
I obey…Him. It is Him I am borrowing from when I disobey. Debt in the spirit realm….is WAY worse than debt in the natural realm. EXPONENTS. MULTIPLICATION. Spiritual debt is a serious matter. Just because man doesn’t think about it…and/or see it here…our Accountant is keeping a ledger of all our transactions here in this life.
This is what I tried to get my ex to understand. It is what Peter told the religious leaders who told him to stop preaching Christ. Peter KNEW he answered to the Supreme Judge and disobeying Him…was MORE costly than jail time here on Earth. It is more costly than losing your life here on Earth…seriously. There are worse things than physically dying. Peter would rather risk jail time and death here…than disobey Father. He weighed out the consequences on the scales and determined disobeying man’s rules…over Father’s commands…was far less costly. The body…vs…the soul. The body is temporary…the soul is eternal. When you do the math…it is a no-brainer here. Preschool math.
Privilege of Choice
It is what I said to my ex. We both have a choice here. You get the privilege to obey or disobey Father. I get the privilege to obey or disobey Father. If you choose to disobey…I still get the privilege to obey. I am choosing to obey HIM…even when you…a mere man…tells me to disobey Father. I would rather feel and experience the wrath of a man than feel and experience the wrath of Father. Besides…I love Christ and I am not heaping any more pain upon His heart by disregarding His love for me. I love Him too much to treat Him with such contempt. His heart matters to me.
I choose to follow His Spirit…step by step…walking by faith…the conviction of His truth…over following the selfish, sinful nature of man. Following the flesh leads to death. I am not going there…for anyone…for any reason. I choose life. Love. I choose to walk in the light.
Purpose Driven
No man can separate me from my purpose. Many have tried. I will not be swayed. Moved. Distracted.
Over the last few months, Father has helped me to understand something about myself that makes my entire life…make sense to me.
Always striving. Driven. Always in a hurry to get somewhere. On fire. Passionate. Unsettled. Moving in a direction with great purpose, intent, zeal, hunger, thirst, etc. All the while…wondering why. Always asking for the truth. KNOWING I needed something more. Driven for something greater. Someone greater.
It is all so clear now. Crystal clear. Crystal is clear.
It is a date in time. Always in a hurry to get to a certain date. A meeting time. A time to meet my Creator…the love of my life. To start a new life with Him. My dream life. My dream marriage. To build my dream family.
If You Build It
Years ago, the girls and I were driving to St. Louis for the day. Vanessa mentioned she had seen a preacher friend of ours while in the store. He had asked her about me. Wanted to know if I was attending church anywhere.
She told him no…I had left the religious system behind. He made a comment to her about me. He said…I don’t think she will ever find what she is looking for.
I was a bit perplexed by that statement…for several reasons.
I wondered what made him think I was looking for something he didn’t think I would find. What was that thing he thought I was looking for?
I forget sometimes people are watching me and forming opinions about me. Baffles me when I become aware someone is paying attention to me.
It made me think he must have decided I was looking for the perfect church. Just my assumption. If so, he was coming to the wrong conclusion. I am not looking for perfection. I have already found it…I am in a relationship with Him.
So, I asked Father about the man’s statement. This is what He said…you won’t find it…you will build it.
At that time…I wasn’t even sure what I was going to be building.
Covenantal Community
Today, I have a much better picture and understanding of what He was referring to in that conversation. As I have mentioned before, my heart’s desire is to build a covenantal community. A body of believers who are in the marriage covenant with Christ. Men and women who accept His marriage proposal and remain faithful to Him while cleaning up their lives. Cleaning up the lie-based belief systems in their hearts and minds. Living for Him. Dying daily to their flesh for Him. Because of Him.
People who are willing to become living sacrifices for Him. Dying to their own fleshly desires to live for Him. Living stones…people living as the truth. Building their lives on THE truth…not man’s fleshly “my truths.” Living according to a truth-based belief system instead of believing the lies the enemy has planted within them.
Men and women who humbly submit their desires to His desires. Who will make Him…the HEAD of their marriage relationship. Who will obey their spiritual Husband.
Husband
Kind of like my example of my ex believing I was not a good, Christian, submissive, and obedient wife. He didn’t understand…actually…I AM a good, submissive, obedient wife to Christ. Christ has been my spiritual Husband. He has been the head of our marriage and I have submitted to the convictions He put in my heart through His Spirit. My ex wanted me to follow his man-made rules…his “my truths”…his lie-based flesh…while I wanted to obey my Husband who superseded the authority of my natural husband. I will disobey my earthly husband when he chooses to disobey the one he claims as his Heavenly husband. Crystal walks by His truth…not man’s lie-based “my truths.”
I did not take my Husband’s name in vain…unlike many who claim Christ but who do not obey Christ as the head of their marriage covenant. For me, I am His Faithful Bride…a covenant keeper. I take my marriage vows seriously. 100% committed…for life. Devoted. Dedicated. Faithful. Yep…that’s me.
I am driven…to be fruitful and multiply. To partner with the love of my life in our marriage while raising up spiritual children who take the marriage vows to Christ seriously. Who will not take His name in vain. Who will take His name…and walk by His Spirit in obedience to Him.
Resting
The truth is…when I hit that date in time…I will finally enter my rest. No more striving for me. No more being in a hurry to get somewhere because I will have finally gotten where I was going. Whew!!! I am super excited about this. I believe I will no longer have a speeding issue. 🤣 It is a curse that will be gone.
What is kind of funny…I have been in a hurry to get this post written for several days now. Was hoping my walk yesterday would bear the fruit of these words…but He took me in a whole different direction. My walk gave birth to yesterday’s post instead of this one. He sets the time, and He sets the order. As timekeeper…I am always checking the time…wondering when we will finally get there.
When I went to bed last night, I said to Him…I really want to get this post wrapped up and done before I head to Indiana.
Today…we begin two weeks of family bonding time. Can hardly wait to see the kids and grandkids. We have been counting down the days together…T minus and counting. We are getting ready to celebrate LIFE. Super exciting. We have a new birth coming up. Getting excited to meet my newest granddaughter. Goodness…she is going to have curly hair. We just KNOW it. Can’t wait to see the ringlets in the future. Bobbi has been sending her own baby pictures with her African curls. Such beautiful hair. No chance of this little girl NOT having curly hair. 😍💙
They Will Come
This blog IS my field of dreams. Here is the field where I labor with my Farmer…plowing and planting seeds so that one day…the people will come. They will come and they will partake of the fruits here that I have been, am, and will continue to plant for years in the future. I am investing in you…the reader…in hopes you will discover…and accept the truth. The real truth…not the counterfeit “my truths” the world offers up on their buffet table. Many “my truths” to choose from out there…but there is only one truth that will lead you to Heaven eternally. His truth can feed you…nourish your soul and spirit man…giving you life and health eternally.
I will feed you truth here. His truth. The truth that will set the captives free.
Why? Because of love. I AM love. I love you…if I didn’t…I would lie to you. To lie…is not love. Love speaks the truth to people…it rejoices in the truth…it delights in the truth. It is the truth.
I love you…choose life and receive blessings.
Have a delightful day…a day full of gladness!