Father is speaking…yet I am not sure what He is saying to me. He will eventually make it clear to me. I suspect I know what He is talking about. Fire. Valley of Fire…Fyrosity…lots of fire in this experience.
Christian and I have been seeking Father for one another. We are asking Father to give us His passion, fire, and desire. Fan those flames baby! Mine went cold for a time. Lots of reasons for that. I was angry at Him. Made me do things I didn’t want to do. Say things I didn’t want to say. Go to places I didn’t want to go. Slowly, He is healing my heart from all the pain He put me through. Deep wounds He brought to my heart. He brings calamity and He brings peace. It is for our benefit and His glory. Hard to wrap your mind around those truths. Doesn’t FEEL much like love to me but I KNOW the foundation is love.
This morning He brought my skydiving experience up. He had me sit down and look at the pictures again. I can’t bear to watch the videos. For me…in this place of life, it is painful to see. I can’t even speak about what my six days in Las Vegas doing three jumps and hanging out with the Vassilev family meant to me. Beyond describable in human terms. I would have to implant my heart into your body for you to FEEL what I feel for you to comprehend the depths of sweetness there. I learned so much from Sammy. Largely about trust. Trusting Father with my life…with my heart. My well-being.
Six Days
Those six days…so far…are in the top five experiences of my life. Very impactful. Significant. In ways that I still can’t understand yet.
Every single time I look at these pictures and watch the videos, I get giddy. Just as giddy as I was during that time. Such a rush. What a thrill! AND…that family…incredibly sweet people. Some I will never forget. BUT…this morning, I look at the pictures and cry. Tears of sadness. Longing for that LIFEstyle again. The freedom to fly. Go my own way. I am longing for something greater.
It is interesting this came up this morning for yesterday my boss asked me about being a store manager for her. I declined her offer, telling her I had dreams of my own. She asked what they were and I shared with her about my dream of traveling and writing. This is when she told me…after the work is done, feel free to write. She is always so appreciative of my work ethic and always wants to reward me for being such a hard worker. Indeed, I will be taking her up on her offer to write while on her time clock. A generous woman with a beautiful heart. One I love dearly.
My Heart Hurts
My heart hurts today. He is building that fire up inside of me again. I feel Him fanning the flames of desire and passion within me. Such a painful experience. Longing for something you don’t yet have.
Out of obedience, I am posting these pictures today of one of the greatest experiences in my life with such beautiful people. People I will cherish in my heart for eternity.
Skydive Fyrosity
Most of the pictures were taken by Sammy at Skydive Fyrosity in Las Vegas. Enjoy the view of the Valley of Fire and Lake Mead.