I always say…I live a crazy life. My life looks and sounds crazy to many people…people who don’t have the spiritual eyes to see and the spiritual ears to hear…or don’t have the desire to be convicted of the truth in their hearts and minds. My take on it…I understand where people are coming from when they look at my life and form flesh-based opinions of how I live. I get it. Sometimes, my decisions defy logic. Man’s ways are oftentimes the opposite of how Father does things.
I choose life. I choose NOT to condemn those who condemn me. Instead, I choose to love them…and see their side of the matter.
His Spirit
Following His Spirit…brings about persecution. It brings about condemnation from mankind. It causes man to make false accusations against me. Man as my judge, claims I am guilty when Father as my Supreme Judge says I am not guilty. I go by Father’s plan…because His judgments are more important to me than mankind’s opinions. I can handle man getting ugly with me. What I can’t handle is Father’s wrath against me. One spanking is all it takes from Him to shape and mold my heart and mind. I am pliable. As the clay, I allow my Potter…to shape and mold the way I live the life He has given me. Every breath I take is because He has given me the gift of that breath. Without Him…I would have no breath.
I always say to Him…you are the air I breathe. That is the truth. Holy Spirit is the air my spirit man needs to bring in the oxygen to keep my spiritual body functioning properly. It is by His systems, my bodies…exhale the toxins within. He keeps me alive on a daily basis. I am grateful to Him for my life.
It is about perspective. How you see life…the world around you. What eyes you are looking at life through. I choose His eyes as He created this world. I figure His eyes are the only eyes that see all things clearly. Mine only see and understand in part…and that part is small and distorted at best.
My Sons
That being said…I feel led to share a story from this past week. It sounds crazy…it is how I preface them. 🤣 Just so you all know…I KNOW I sound crazy. 🤣
Mitchell once said this to me…”Mom…you have said a LOT of crazy things to me over the years, but this by far…is the CRAZIEST thing you have ever said, and now I am starting to question your sanity.” His older brother Donovan said…”Mom…I second everything Mitchell said.” 😂🤣
My response to my sons…”I know…NO ONE…absolutely NO ONE…has questioned my sanity…MORE than me.” That is the truth.
Following Father these last 30 years has caused me to doubt my own sanity at times. Many times.
I take comfort in the fact…crazy people don’t question their own sanity and do the self-evaluation and reflection I do, combined with the constant inner healing work over the last 20-plus years.
My conclusion…I am sane. If someone is crazy…it is Father…not me. I am obeying Him. I have said to Him repeatedly over the last few years…people think I am crazy, but YOU are the KING of crazy. Me…I am just obedient. 😂🤨
Consignment Sale
Thursday…the girls had set up a play date at a local play place for the cousins to get together and play. I opted out of the afternoon activity. The thought of being in a room with a bunch of kids running around and screaming…didn’t sound appealing to me. 😳 I am an introvert by preference. I LOVE peace and quiet. It screams my life…NO DRAMA whatsoever. I chose to stay home, enjoy the peace and quiet…have a little me time…and do some domestic duties. NO REGRETS!
I got the house cleaned, the laundry done, cooked dinner for the fam, and did some painting. Mitchell got home during the end of my quiet time, and we had dinner together before the others got back home.
When Bobbi and Vanessa got home…we had to head out immediately to a ginormous consignment pre-sale located at the event center in downtown Evansville. Mitchell got home just in time for him to be enlisted in attending. 🤣
Everyone was tired from a long day. Ahnalaya Ann was a ball of sweat from playing so hard. The girl has no idea how to slow down…she is balls to the wall 24/7.
This consignment sale was baby/children related. Bobbi and Vanessa…all about it. 💙
Mitchell and I found the Legos. We so wanted the Legos. Such a great deal. Vetoed. 😆 The kid has a Lego Bonsai tree. He has always wanted a Bonsai tree…so a Lego one fits his personality perfectly. I love the little tree…so adorable. My kids are so much FUN!!!!!!!!
The Story
I am walking around this sale helping with my grandchildren and checking people out. Watching people…a fun hobby for me. Love making observations about people. Fascinates me. I need the mental stimulation. My mind loves bringing information in, analyzing it, collating it, and filing it in the appropriate file folders. It is a constant thing for me. Mitchell does the same thing. In high school, he was convinced we should start a private detective agency together. 😂 He thought we could do well in the business. I don’t think he is wrong. We are always honing our observation skills.
After we got back home…we literally walked in the door, and he started asking questions about what we saw while there. It struck me as funny. His observations were great.
While there, I noticed I was feeling some kind of way…almost painful kind of way. Didn’t like that. Been pretty joyful this year so I didn’t like that uncomfortable feeling. It was His Spirit. He does that to me. Makes me feel certain things to shape and mold me to the position He wants me in.
I was walking around trying to figure out where the pain was coming from. I KNEW it was family related. That was a no-brainer for me. I was completely surrounded by moms…babies…grandmas…and a few dads. It was an event that focused on the family. Provisions for the family.
The Mural
As we left the event to head back home, I was still processing the pain. It was not a great deal of pain…just a smidgeon. I was uncomfortable in my spirit and in my soul. That is Him…WELL acquainted with His ways.
I am asking Him…what truth do you want me to know. What are you saying to me?
When Vanessa and I got to this mural…it hit me…like a ton of bricks…much like the color of the blues in this mural. Stunning!!! Like a slap in the face to me. Such a pleasant one though…positive…not negative.
I realized…I want a family.
The Craziness Continues
At 52 years old, I want to get married and raise a family…all over again. 🤣🤣 I want to start a new family.
I said to Him…I want to marry you…and give birth to LOTS of babies. Have lots of children with you. Raise up a family. A healthy one.
I want to give birth to lots of spiritual babies. Men and women who want to grow up in Him. To follow Him….to serve Him…to love Him. I want to teach them to serve and love their Father. Personally, I am a nurturer…a teacher…an encourager…a nurse…a helpmate…a therapist…a rehabber…etc. I am a mom…I do what moms do with their kids. Raise them up.
Though my physical womb is barren…I want to give birth to many spiritual babies…for the rest of my life. And raise those babies up into maturity…body, soul, and spirit.
How crazy does that sound? Crazy cool though…in my book.
What a fun adventure this will be!!!
I look forward to the years ahead…following Him wherever He leads me.
Have a MARVY day blessed with LOTS of LIFE choices! 💙