The flow is here! The flow is here! THE FLOW IS HERE!!!!!!!!!!!! Can you tell I am excited and celebrating? I am. I would hate to be unclear about my feelings on the matter. Hearing Phil Collins singing, I have been waiting for this moment all my life. I have been.
I have some words to use regarding the flow. 😜
A few days ago, I called Vanessa. I was saying to her…the flow is not here. I need the flow to happen. Meaning…I need the curriculum to flow in me. I need to start the teachings. I felt it was time, but the flow wasn’t there. After 30-plus years, I know when the flow is on and when it is off.
After seeking Father together about what was holding it up, Vanessa kept getting…”distractions.” Like I had distractions in my life that were holding the flow back.
I knew this was right because, at breakfast, I had felt one particular distraction. It was minor I felt…🤷♀️ so, I had kind of brushed it off. 🤦♀️
Within 24 hours, I dealt with the distractions. I was good to go.
The Stick
Gotta share a tidbit here. I noticed Ahnalaya Ann eyeballing the little pile of sticks near this swing. She found one she liked. I knew the child was trying to find a stick to push herself with to swing. Sure enough…she started trying with the stick she found.
I noticed a thicker sturdier stick, so I walked over and switched her sticks out. Then I taught her how to use it to propel herself on the swing.
She was THRILLED. I was enthralled with her smarticles. She turned six this summer. I am always amazed at how she thinks. Vanessa is always saying…she is just like her daddy.
It warms my heart…cuz it is true. Donovan is my mini-me…and she is his. 😍
Feedback
After I dealt with the distractions, I sent Vanessa a text the next morning. I said…I need to come over and spend the day. Got questions. Need your help.
When I arrived, I told her…this is what I need from you. I need you to tell me how I impacted your life. What I taught you and how.
I felt like I needed to hear something. Didn’t know what I needed to hear, but I knew I would know when I heard it. Was feeling like she was going to say something that would turn the flow on. Boy oh boy!!!! It worked.
Here is the deal. For over 30 years, I have been working my tail off to get cleaned up. I have had my head down working on my own messy bodies…body, soul, and spirit. As a result, I don’t stop to think about the impact I am having on the people around me in a positive way. Have had plenty of conversations about how I am impacting people in what they perceive to be a negative way.
People who don’t want to hear the truth…don’t like me and don’t like what I have to say. These years of that…have provided me a MULTITUDE of opportunities to look at myself because of others’ perceptions of me and their behavior toward me. The negative. I am always having to convert a negative to a positive here. It has been a LARGE part of my work over the years.
Don’t Know
If people don’t tell me how I have helped them or impacted their lives positively, I don’t know. I am clueless. I could ask Father…but I don’t because I haven’t had the time. Also…the thought never occurred to me…until the other day.
When Vanessa started talking, I had to stop her. I hit record on the phone because I knew I wasn’t going to be able to keep up with the note-taking.
She had a long list of stuff to share with me.
It brought to mind…oodles of teachings from the recesses of my mind. So much knowledge in my head that I have forgotten about. 😂 Too busy thinking about fresh stuff. Always a fresh inflow coming in. Love that. Can’t do stagnant water. Drives me absolutely batty. 🤨
The Flow
Vanessa mentioned the word purpose…and it all became Crystal Clear to me. SUPER DUPER CLEAR. The flow began. It started. I knew right what to do and how to begin building the curriculum.
Since then…I have been dancing on cloud nine so to speak. I am giddy with excitement. I am ready to start creating. Ready to go…with THE FLOW! ❤️
Today, I needed a printer. Hannah dropped me off at Mr. Mitchell Man’s house because I gave my old printer to them. It wasn’t working for me this morning. Long story. Been struggling with printers lately. It is Father. So…I decided to head to one of my favorite stores…Best Buy. (Borrowing my old truck. 😍 I have missed her.) LOVE THE GEEKS!!!!!!! They are my friends. 😆
Found one this morning and had him give me the low down on all the new technology on printers. Loving my new printer. So relieved to have this thing. Been missing having that piece of equipment in my arsenal. I am now the proud owner of a new printer. It was a necessary part of building this curriculum.
Notebook
Recently, I have been having issues with digital stuff. For oodles of years, I only used paper for storing my notes/teachings from Father. He then had me transition to digital. HATED the transition. Told Him so on repeat. Not that it changed His mind…just felt led to express my feelings regarding the matter. Always. 🤷♀️
I jumped on board the digital train though. Had to learn the new program. THEN…I decided I kind of liked the digital notebook. Had some really amazing and cool features with it.
THEN we hit a snag. Both on my iPad and my Mac. WOW…not happy about this revolting development. Called tech support. Got it fixed. THEN…it happened again…only worse this time.
I finally said to Father…not using it until you give me the knowledge to fix the problem myself. I want to know the inner workings of this computer myself. Just download the solution to me or I am not using the damn thing anymore.
Figured it was His doing. Drives me crazy how He starts and stops me. 🤦♀️
Later…He reminded me…He created my mind to be the storage container for truth.
Ok…well maybe I don’t need a notebook in the future. 🤷♀️ Idk.
The Search
In the meantime, I need a NOTEBOOK…I have thoughts to put down here. Yesterday, I spent three hours perusing notebooks and day planners at a variety of stores. Book stores, Target, and of course…my favorite stores…office supply stores. Office supply stores are my happy place. All those Post-It Notes. The colored pens. The markers. The notebooks. The fancy schmancy ink pens. The smell of paper. Oh my!!!! Such wonderfulness all in one building.
I was on the prowl…searching for the perfect notebook.
Ya know what I decided? It doesn’t exist. So discouraged. I have tried hard over the years to locate it. Even tried building it myself. It seems like an impossibility. 🙄😭😩 I feel the need to whine and complain about this issue…just a bit. The struggle is real people.
I settled on a plain old notebook to begin this journey with. I spent entirely WAY too much money on one notebook though. Won’t say what it cost me. It is embarrassing. It is a business notebook with college-ruled paper…VERY IMPORTANT. Must be college-ruled. The big spaces…can’t do that. Wide-ruled is a NO-NO. A no-go for me.
The paper is thick and soft. Very nice weighted paper. Going to write like a dream I believe.
It will have to do. 🤨 *Sigh*
Feeling like I have everything I need now to get started building. Going to hunker down and stay focused on ONE thing. Building the curriculum. 🤩
Heart Fire
I am using this Snap Vanessa sent me of the heart Donovan made from their family fire the other night.
I feel like it is an accurate picture of my heart now. My heart is on fire. On fire for what I am doing. I finally got where I was going. Made it to the end…and the new beginning.
I got to see my spiritual brother Jeff the other day. When this all began for me seven years ago, Jeff said something…about when this is over. He was speaking prophetically and didn’t know it. Still doesn’t. Didn’t tell him when I saw him. BUT I knew…it was truly over because what Jeff said all those years ago…came to pass.
I have started a new beginning. A new era for me. A whole new way of life.
I am celebrating the end. Donovan’s heart fire is such an accurate depiction of the heart fire burning within me.
What is even better…spent his lunchtime with him the other day. Donovan shared many stories with me. So much laughter…so much joy. I am seeing the results of the hours of labor from his school years.
That man is loving the critical thinking I taught him. Using it in fun ways. I feel so proud. My labor was not in vain. None of it. Critical thinking is critical! 💜
Text
Felt led to do a short post before I get started on building the curriculum now that I am ready to sit down and start building.
At about 3 am this morning, I sent Hannah a long text. I feel it is important to post what I said on this blog…in this post. It is deep stuff. It will go over some people’s heads. Hannah is used to how I speak. Others…not so much. I am going to end the post with a copy of that text message. It was too long to screenshot, so I am copying and pasting the text.
I feel it is important to the Bride of Christ. Especially Hannah’s age group. That age group seems to be hungry for data…info…yet have no clue of the importance of true connection of the heart. How intimacy works. The value of it. What it takes to truly be intimate with another person. Intimacy takes time to build and that means you must listen. Stop. Open your ears and listen.
As I always say…learn to listen…and listen to learn. It is a full-circle cycle. Repeating that process.
Love and Intimacy
To Hannah…to the Bride of Christ…
I feel like Father is showing me you don’t see the value in intimacy of the heart. The love it is wrapped up in.
You want the bullet points. The facts. Just give you the truth…the info to get the job done. It is a shortcut for sure.
However, there is a greater value in getting to know the heart behind the truth. That is the love portion.
You want the truth without the love. The cold hard facts which are sterile. There are greater purposes behind the intimacy.
The intimacy requires you to give of your time. He wants your time and attention too. You must be willing to sacrifice your ears to hear in the giving of truth.
You want head knowledge, not heart knowledge. Head knowledge puffs up. Heart knowledge brings you humility.
You need to repent of this for sure but more importantly, you need to see, know, and understand this is who you are…have been as a person. You need to strip this away and see the value in the greater things instead of you placing greater value on the lesser things.
He wants your heart. You must be willing to invest your heart. That is the greater sacrifice.
If you do all of this work for head knowledge only you will only become more arrogant. It will have been for nothing.
Your focus is head only and you need to shift to heart mode, or this isn’t going to work for you.
Repent for putting too much emphasis on head knowledge. It is an idol to you.
Ask Him to give you His heart to learn it His way. To accept all of truth which means the love portion of it too, through giving your heart time…investing in knowing Him through intimacy.
You have to be willing to learn His way. Submitted to the whole process not your way and in your time.
You are only seeing such a small measure here. You need to be willing to have your eyes opened to much greater truths. Seeing value in things that are loaded with richness…that you are blind to right now. Ask Him to open your eyes to see these things that have great value to them, but you have deemed them to have no value at all.
Consider
Something for everyone to consider. Thought I would just leave it sitting there for people to chew on.
Explanations on a shallow and even deeper levels to come in the future. Until then…have a marvy day.
I have found my sweet spot in life. Made it to the end. Soon…the teachings will be uploaded and freedom for many will begin.
A dream come true for me. I have found my security. It is here.
💜