I wasn’t sure if the marriage covenant was the right title for this post…but I feel like that is the one Father wants me to use…so here I am. 🤷♀️ My life makes very little sense to me most days. I go with the flow because that is how I have been trained.
The spirit realm baffles me…exceedingly. I see, hear, feel, and know things I don’t understand. Father’s Spirit is a power/force I can’t explain. It isn’t anything I can control. No power over it at all. As I have mentioned previously, at times in the last seven years, I have tried HARD to shut it down. To shut it off. To shut Him up. I am powerless to do that. Can’t get the job done. Christ is more powerful than I. To some that statement will seem obvious, right. Like…duh. 🤦♀️😳 However, to some…that statement would be ridiculous…not true at all.
Going with the flow is much less painful…in my experience. So, here I am flowing. 😜 Despite the fact I sound delusional to mankind.
The Photo
Before I share about my crazy current thoughts on marriage…I want to mention Don Witter. Don is the man who took the picture in the featured image. I worked hard to track that man down to get his permission to use the photo. Been thinking about using this photo for about a year or so now. Had to do some sleuthing to find Don. He closed his studio when he retired. I called a local studio with the same last name thinking they could be possible relatives. Hoping they could help me get in touch with him if he was still around. The picture was taken in 1991.
The studio was a dead end. Later, after an online search, found a number. Dead.
Found an email…botta bing botta boom…found him. Made for a happy Crystal Ann. Got the permission I wanted. 😍 Super grateful!!! Much thanks to Don.
Pieces
Lots of puzzle pieces to get to the conclusions I am reaching. I need more answers to questions still waiting in the queue, but I am getting there. The computer tabs in my mind are open and running constantly.
In the screenshot included here, I am sharing a recent convo Mitchell and I had about books. It is one piece. After listening to The Silent Patient by Alex Michaelides, my head started to spin about all things story related. Currently, I am listening to one of his other books…kind of excited about the ending. Haven’t a clue how this thing is going to end. Excited to find out.
That is how I feel about this story I have been living out for the last seven years. In nine days, it will be over. Can hardly wait.
What is more exciting to me than the ending of this story, is the beginning of a new one. I can’t imagine what it will be like. Beyond my ability to imagine.
The one thing I am 100% convinced of is this…it will be better than I could have asked for or imagined. When you let Father write your story…it is way better than anything man could have written for you. OR you could have written for yourself.
I believe that.
100% 🤩
NYC
Another piece of the puzzle is one I have mentioned in the past, NYC. That last trip Hannah and I took to New York during the Christmas season last year. One of the things Father said to me while there was this…I sent you here to show you how man writes their stories. Fantasies. Fiction. False Narratives. Fairy tales.
Man building their little glass houses. Their snow globes with them as the star of the show. They are center stage in their story. Humanism…the elevation of man. Pride and arrogance…the elevation of self.
While there, He was telling me…when man lets Father write the story…it is WAY better…infinitely better than man could write the story.
Here is the truth. Christ…as the truth…is ALWAYS better than any fantasy/fiction man could invent. The truth is ALWAYS better than lies/deception.
Writing Curriculum
Over the last few weeks, I have been thinking about writing curriculum. Pretty stoked about the idea of writing this massive amount of worldview curriculum for the people to consume.
It used to send me into overwhelmed anxiety mode. No longer. So over that. Ready to go. Ready to write.
The possibilities are endless here on the topics…general to the tiny little macro details in every subject. I am falling in love with the notion. Sounds blissful to me. A dream come true for me.
I keep telling Him…bring it on baby!!! 😆
Writing Rules
Another piece of the puzzle is about writing books in general. Stories. Novels. I have been looking at man’s rules on how to write a book. How to develop a story. Character development. Mapping and plotting scenes. Conflict. Hero vs. villain. Writing prompts. Writing exercises. Etc.
So many rules. Man has their formulas to get the job done.
Kind of fascinates me. As I have studied, I have been wondering why mankind hasn’t been reversing this process to learn about themselves and others around them. So many tools available that could be used for self-evaluation, yet they sit there being used in a totally different way…to build fantasy instead of clean up reality.
WOW…so profound in my little pea brain.
ELO
Can I just interject this little random bit of trivia here? I saw a squirrel and my ADHD brain must say this here and now. I am jamming out to my ELO playlist today…wow…ELO rocks!!!!! 💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻🕺🕺🕺🎶🎵🎤 SING AND DANCE WITH ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Everyone all over the world…get on the telephone line…shine a little love on me…don’t bring me down…instead let’s go to Xanadu…hold on tight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
😂😜 What do you think of that story/picture from those titles? How bout dem apples? Funny don’t ya think? Words are great!!!!
Feeling a little spunky today. Happy as a clam in a shell. Feeling love in the heart. I think I am falling in love…feels damn good. Just saying! 😍🫀❣️💕💙💜
Ok…back to our regularly scheduled blog post here.
Building Stories
Ok…here is a fun bit of trivia for you about writing stories and building a life…man’s ways.
Man builds a life like they build skyscrapers. They add one story at a time. They layer one story on top of another…each scene of their life is another layer in their skyscraper.
The problem with doing this man’s ways…when you have built this massively tall skyscraper on top of the sand…that baby is coming down. Boom. Quite the fall.
The fall doesn’t just damage your life…it damages the lives of the people around you who have built their skyscraper parked up alongside of yours.
Reminds me of the houses being taken by the sea. The sea encroaches farther and farther into the shoreline and down the houses go.
Or when the flood waters come in and takes out the houses through hurricanes and tsunamis. All that work…gone. Demolished in seconds by the forces of nature.
Sometimes…man takes the houses down. Man sets them on fire. A lifetime of work gone in moments of time…never to be again.
Once you lose an old photo, that photo is gone forever.
Christ’s Way
To build on Christ…the truth…His Rock…His foundation…you are secure. Stable even when those storms blow in.
Letting Him write your story means the story is permanent. Forever. For eternity. Blissful sounding don’t ya think? I think. When you build your life on lies and deception…going to come crashing down. That is a sure thing. If you don’t tear it down yourself…Father will do it for you someday. You will watch Him burn it to the ground. Painful either way. Less painful to voluntarily burn it with Him. At least then you can build something better to replace it with. If you don’t tear it down yourself…a total loss with no return…at all. 😳 Total devastation…for eternity…in exponents.
My Epiphany
Had an epiphany last night and into the early morning hours. GOTTA SHARE!!! So excited. Actually had several. Here is one.
If I take the last seven years of my life and look at them…I see I have clearly been chasing after/pursuing the truth. Christ, right? He is the truth.
Why?
Because I love the truth. It is probably my greatest passion…the truth. The truth lights me on fire. It is electric. Electric Light…like an orchestra. 😍 Do you see what I did there? (ELO) 😂 Listen…I seriously think I am falling in love. Therefore, I am feeling rather spunky. Feeling the fire in my veins. SUCH AN INCREDIBLE FEELING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just roll with me here.
The story that has played out these last seven years is evidence to me and to anyone else who cares to know…of my great love for Christ/Truth. I have PERSEVERED to get the truth. Wow…like nobody’s business. Unrelenting to get the truth. CUZ I LOVE THE TRUTH!!!!! Destroyed me in every possible way. Crucified with the truth.
Return
Ok…so I am going to get a return on my investment. I gave my life for Christ…so not only will I get His in return…I will get Father and Spirit as well. Three right there for the price of one…for eternity. Wow…that is security for ya. Loving this idea.
BUT WAIT…there is more.
Christ is the light…so I will get the fullness of light as a return.
Christ is LOVE…so I will get the fullness of love as a return.
He is also life…so not only do I get His life…I get the blessings to go with life.
AND…I get the fullness of TRUTH when I get Him.
I invested love, life, light, and truth for seven years…so I will get them back in full…plus interest…for eternity.
I feel like fainting. Seriously. Crazy good. 🫢
I feel so loved. 🥰
My King
Here is another epiphany for ya.
Recently Father said to me…your King is coming. Leave with Him.
Still not sure how to unpack that yet. BUT…I figured something out sometime in the night.
My King is here. He has been here all along. He has been my constant companion for seven years. Been beside me this whole time while I have been in the fire. In this prison cell.
WHOA!
The Fire
It reminds me of the story of Shadrach, Meschach, and Abednego in the Bible. The king threw the three of them in the fire. Yet…they saw four men in the fire. They weren’t alone in that fire. Father/Christ/Holy Spirit were in that fire with those men.
The truth has been with me…in me this whole time. The entire time I have been sitting in this prison cell…my dungeon of darkness…the purification fire…my King was with me. The love was here. The light. Truth. Life. It never left…just felt like it…I guess.
Crazy cool I think. Wonderfulness!
End Zone
I once had a vision of me on a football field. I was running to the end zone. It wasn’t just about getting a touchdown…it was also running to safety. It was like I needed to reach that certain point to get to a safe zone. A safe place. I had literally just gotten into the safety zone when a man in a uniform tackled me to the ground.
That vision has always exposed fear in me when I would look at it in the past.
Sometime in the night…that vision opened up in a new tab. This time I looked at it from a radically different perspective. This time my thoughts were…it wasn’t about being tackled…like an enemy is tackling you to kill you and destroy you. When I saw it again this time, my thoughts were…it is about being overtaken.
Radically different thoughts and emotions here.
You see…I feel like I have entered into my safety zone. Reached the end. I am feeling the security of the Brink’s truck in a vision I have mentioned on the blog before. The security of Christ feels amazing to me these days. Some kind of death of the flesh occurred within the last few months because I feel safe now. Secure. Safe and secure. Stable.
Transformation
Now that I experientially KNOW I am secure…I am relaxed. The guard is down. Feeling free. The burdens have been lifting off. I feel lighter in volume and wait/weight. I feel lighter in brightness. Bright, light, and airy. Fluffy and effervescent. Not bogged down anymore.
I am happy and settling down. Settling into my life…even though my physical situation has not changed…I have changed inside. I have been transformed. Much like a butterfly from the caterpillar.
Donovan, Vanessa, and the kids recently went to the drive in to watch the Transformers movie. For months now, I have been listening to them talk about these transformers. Archer says on repeat with a deep growl…I am Optimus Prime. 😂😂 When they finished the movie, Vanessa sent me a text saying…YOU are Optimus Prime.
She says it is crystal clear…Crystal is Optimus Prime. This last movie made it super clear to her. We keep meaning to have that convo as to why, but life has prevented the convo thus far. It is on pause for now.
All that to say…I have been transformed over the last seven years. Also…I am a transformer of lives. IF people will give me a chance to transform their life…I can get the job done…rightly. Righteously. A transformation that is permanent and lasting for eternity in positive ways. NOT temporary and negative that will subtract from your bank account in the spirit realm.
Overtaken
When I look at the vision of being tackled by the football player…no more fear now. Instead, I look at it with excitement.
I WANT TO BE OVERTAKEN!!!!!!!!!
I told Father/Christ/Holy Spirit this morning…I want you to overtake me. It is about consummation to me. The Marriage Covenant.
I want to be consumed…wholly consumed. By the truth. For the truth. With the truth. Completely devoured by the truth. Engulfed in the fiery flames of truth.
I want to consume the truth. I want to devour it. Be overtaken by the truth in every way I can be overtaken by truth.
Overtaken by light. Love. Life. Truth. Honor. Courage. Strength. Boldness. Bravery. Maturity. Order. Humility. Obedience. Kindness. Gentleness. Etc.
Name every freaking fruit of His Spirit…I want to be overtaken by it. Consumed by it. Devoured by it.
Name every attribute of my wonderful Father…I want to be consumed by it. Overtaken. Devoured.
Name every character trait of Christ…I want to be overtaken by it. Devoured. Overtaken.
Consumerism
It makes me think also of consumerism. I used to be overwhelmed anxious about being consumed by mankind. As an introvert being introduced to the world and put under a microscope…wow…no words for what that did to me inside. The thought horrified me…on every level in every way.
No more horror.
As He said…all clean. Good to go. I am all cleaned up inside now. I am good to go.
It makes me think of what I mentioned earlier about Him saying my King was coming…leave with Him.
Leaving and going. They mean the same thing to me. Makes me think it is nearing my time of launching. I sure hope so. I am ready to get out of here.
Where am I going? Haven’t a clue. Rarely understand anything He is saying. 😂
Marriage Covenant
Here is something crazier.
I think I am getting married. To whom you might ask. Seems crazy doesn’t it when I don’t have a man in my life. 😂😂😂
I am asking the same question…cuz it feels 100% true that I am getting married. Baffles my brain. It feels like my mind is twisting and contorting. Normal for Father and I. When He shapes and molds, my mind hurts so badly during that timeframe. Hate that part of it.
I know it is a spiritual work He is doing. Despite the fact I can’t see anything at all…I know Father is not a liar. Christ is coming. The truth is coming for me. He has been here all along. He loves His wife. She must be birthed and raised up to be ready to meet Christ. I feel secure in His love for Her.
Years ago, I pounded on His door asking for ALL truths on ALL covenants in the Bible. Been learning about each one slowly as the years go by. I am ready to learn what the New Covenant…the Marriage Covenant with Christ is truly like.
I want to experience it for myself. Need to in order to teach it to the people. It is paramount in importance.
Super excited about this covenant. A treasure for sure.
Security
As I was thinking about this through the night and into the morning, I realized…the guards are down now. I feel safe and secure. It has changed my perspective on life. My life.
As a side note, I suspect the ELO music playing in my ears has a bit to do with it too. 😂😜 How can you NOT feel on top of the world when jamming to good tunes?
Anyway…for real…I feel settled. Relaxed. Secure. I trust Father/Christ/Holy Spirit to guide and direct my life. I trust them to KNOW what is best for me. Trusting them to build my life story as it is written in my book of life in Heaven.
I was telling Hannah last night…as I am sure I have mentioned on this blog somewhere before…many many moons ago…I realized it is pointless to ask Father to give me something that is NOT written in my book of life. To ask, beg, and plead for something that is NEVER going to happen is a waste of time, energy, and my breath. A complete waste of emotions. I refuse to invest my life into something I will never get. 🤷♀️ Talk about foolishness, heh.
Trust
SO…that being said…I am kicking back and waiting to see what Father does here. Cuz my life is His life. He gets to run the show. Hoping it is a good one. Would hate to be disappointed, ya know.
Here is what I believe…100%…since I have been letting Him write my story for over 30 years…it is going to be a good one. Better than I could ask for or imagine myself. I trust Him to do right by me. His nature has proven to be loving kindness to me…even when at times I thought He was being an ass. Turns out I was wrong.
Sometimes you are the hammer…sometimes the nail. Both are needed to build a house.
I have been building a house with Father…it can handle the storms life brings. I can handle them. He has proven that to me. 😍
Have a MARVY WONDERFUL FANTASTIC DAY!!!!!!
Waving bye while dancing to Hold On Tight!!!! Holding on tight to my dreams!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
👋🙋♀️😘 Much love!!!